Daniel Howell Imagines

Bleed My Heart Out

A/N THANK YOU GUYS SO MICH FOR 800 READS. I JUST CANT BELEIVE IM 200 READS AWAY FROM 1000 THAT'S JUST INCREDIBLE, I APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU READING THIS BOOK.

*warning* feels attack

"I bleed my heart out on this paper, for you so you can see what I cant say. Im dying here, cause i cant say what I want to. I bleed my heart out just for you..."

Dan's P.O.V

I run out of my room, with a piece of paper in my hand, i need to get this over and done with. I need to know things.

"What are you in a rush for?" Phil asks as he sees me running to the front door. I have no time to stop, if i do stop, I wont be able to go and do what I want to do, I'll chicken out.

"ILL TELL YOU LATER!" I yell as I was almost out of the door. I accidentally slam the door behind me and mutter a quick 'oops' as i depart my flat.

I power walk down the street and about 10 minutes later I am faced with a familiar apartment complex. I make my way into the elevator and press the button to go to the 7th floor. The only noises that are heard is my breathing and the elevator when it said 'going up'

I walk down a long hall way until i reach a familiar apartment door. I start shaking, knowing what I am about to do.

"Its now or never" I say to myself. I inhale a sharp breath and then knock on the door. My heart is pounding. Why am I in such a rush to do this thing? I'm frozen with fear, i am terrified that the person I need to see is going to leave before i have the chance to tell them something important, before i can tell them the truth...

You know that feeling you get when you jump into a pool of ice cold water, and you feel like you're drowning and you cant breathe, so you end up gasping for breath? As ironic as it sounds that's how I felt about this whole situation.

As i held my breath, I could hear footsteps on the other side of the door. My heart is beating faster than it ever has in my entire life.

"Dan? What are you doing here?" (y/n) asks leaning on the door frame of her flat. I stand there petrified, terrified, scared as i look into her eyes, obviously shaking as i grab the note out of my pocket to give to her.

"Th-This, uhhh. Ahem. This is f-for you" I stutter nervously as i hand her over the folded and slightly crumpled piece of paper with my hand writing scribbled all over it.

"Whats this for?" (y/n) asked curiously, not yet opening the note that i had just given her. She scans over the folded piece of paper, waiting for an explanation from me

"I uh- um. I wrote you note. It has a lot of explanations to a lot of things i wish i could have told you but i did. These are the words that i cant bring myself to say." As cheesy as it sounds it was true, everything that i said to her was 100% true. She steps aside ans lets me into her warm and comforting flat. I sat down on her couch as I watched her stand in front of me, reading the letter that i had written to her, which went something like this.

(Y/N),
You wouldn't believe the amount of times i have tried to write this letter. It has to be absolutely perfect before i even think about giving it to you. So, here goes nothing

I'm in love with you, and I have been for a while. Whenever i tried to say something, I would just get all choked up and i couldn't embarrass myself like that tbh.

So here's me, pouring my heart out to you, bleeding my heart out on this piece of paper for you, writing the words down that i cant say. Its like I'm dying whenever i talk to you, because i cant say what I want to. And what I want to say to you is that I love you, (y/n).

Like how i cant say that, whenever I am with you, my heart beats a million miles an hour, and i get butterflies whenever you look at me, or even talk to me. Or how whenever you smile i think that its the most beautiful thing on this planet. I cant even fathom how perfect you are to me. You are one of my best friends and i cant lose this friendship, because losing you would be losing the light in my life.

You always seem to make me happy, no matter what you do. And I'm not afraid to admit that i am in love with you. I'm just afraid to say it to you, because I'll somehow stuff it up and then you'd probably hate me forever.

So here i am, bleeding my heart out on this paper, explaining to you how i feel about you, hoping you feel the same way too

I love you with all my heart,
Dan.

I watched as she lowered the note down and folded it back up. I watch her with anticipation, wanting to know what shes going to say next, or what shes going to do next. She sits next to me on the sofa. I study her expression and her body language, shes not sitting away from me, which is a good sign i guess. But, she does look confused. But i did just drop a big huge bombshell on her so i don't blame her.

"Dan..." she says as she exhales a breath that she had been unknowingly holding. I start to get even more nervous now, unsure of what she's going to say> I began trembling again out of sheer nervousness and terror. I was so scared of what she was going to say next. This was a really bad idea. I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have written that damned letter. I should've just kept my mouth shut.

Right now it just feels as if the whole world should just swallow me up and engulf me into its fine earth. This is terrifying. I can't look at her, I just can't. Everything in my mind is telling me to run away, asking me if I was insane, which yes, I was.

"Dan, I-I, just... why me?" She asked. Honestly not the answer I was expecting, but also not the answer I was dreading. I looked at her, she looked extremely confused as to why I chose her, why I loved her.

"Like I said, you make me happy. To me, you are absolutely perfect. And I completely understand if you don't feel the same way." I was about to stand up and leave when I felt a hand grip my wrist and pull me back. She looked deep into my brown eyes, as if she could read them as easily as she could a map. She engulfed me in the biggest hug ever, and I could smell her hair from the position we were hugging in. It smelt strongly of apples and strawberries, but I liked it. It was my new favourite smell.

"You know, you also make me happy. I think any girl would've been lucky to have you. So thank you for choosing me" She looked up at me and smiled the biggest smile ever. I took this as an indication that she felt the same way that I did and I started leaning in closer to her. Soon our lips collided in the most sensual and loving kiss I've ever had. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but you could feel the passion in it, you could feel how much we loved each other.... we loved each other

"I'm dying here, cause I cant say what I want to, I bleed my heart out just for you..."