Strawberry Fields Forever

Chapter 21

Pauls pov
Shes gone...? No! She cant be fuckin gone! Why! Why did this have to happen!
My thoughts ran through my mind as i sat at home in bed, i had just got home from the hospital and haven't stopped crying since.
I went to the bathroom and slowly opened the door
Flashback
Her body was just there. Rested against the wall, she was covered in blood and was almost sat in a puddle of it.
"Alex!" I shouted as i instantly ran over to her
I started shaking her but there was no response
"No, no, no!" I cried
End of flashback
I would never be able to look at this bathroom without thinking of her.
I noticed there was something on the shelf, i went over to have a look.
3 envelopes, 1 saying 'Paul', 1 saying 'Stuart' and the last 1 saying 'John'
Tears fell down my cheeks as i carefully opened mine.
'Dear Paul,
I'm far gone now, you've always been there for me, and ill always remember that night on my birthday when you got a hard on. Oh god, I'm sorry, i'm just trying to make you smile. Just because I'm gone doesn't mean everyone has to be sad because honestly I'm not really something to cry about. There isn't a really Specific reason for why i did this, its just everything building up, and when John broke up with me, my world just collapsed and i lost control, BUT this is not John's fault and i want you to make sure he never thinks it is. I love you Paul, from Alex x'
I just stared at it. This was Johns fuckin fault, if he hadn't of broke up with her, she would still be alive!
Stuarts pov
I came back home after hanging out with a few mates, as i opened the door i noticed an envelope on the floor. I walked inside, before shutting the door and picking up the envelope, it was addressed to me, so i sat down on the sofa and opened it
'Dear Stuart, or Stu as everyone called you, i don't know if your reading this or not but if you are, it means I'm gone. Gone as in forever. You were always so kind to me, and I'm so grateful for everything you've done. I don't have a reason for doing what I've done, just everything building up all at once. John broke up with me when i went back to his house, he's with that blondie from the club that night on my birthday. But i know as soon as John reads his letter he's going to automatically think its his fault, it isnt. Please make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. I love you Stu, you were one of my best friends. Love Alex x'
I sat there in silence, not knowing what to do. This has to be a joke right? Some sick joke?
Tears started trickling down my cheeks, i wiped away my tears not wanting to cry, but they kept pouring out.
This isn't fair, it was just earlier on that i was speaking to a happy, funny girl. But now, theres nothing left of her except a bunch of old memories.
Johns pov
As soon as i saw Alex earlier on, it hit me, what was i doing with another girl? Alex is perfect, i don't need any other girl in my life to make me happy, i want to be with Alex forever.
As soon as i had shut the door on her, i immediately said to Cynthia, the other girl, that this is wrong and that she has to leave.
I noticed that Alex had left her bags at my front door so i brought them in, she'll be coming back soon if she left these.
I heard a noise coming from the door so i rushed up thinking it was Alex but all i was left with was a envelope.
'John, if you are reading this it means I'm gone, not just left Liverpool or something, it means i have taken my life. John i know your going to think this is your fault, but it isnt, none of this is your fault. Your not the reason i did this. I had everything building up and when you broke up with me, i lost it. If you didn't want me then no on would. I just want you to be happy, thats all i ever wanted. I hope you find someone new, find someone who will actually want to have a baby with you and who wont keep secrets away from you. Move on from me, but i hope our memories will always stay with you and make you smile. Please don't forget me John, just forget the bad times we had. I love you so fuckin much! I always have, no matter what. Lots of love, Alex xxx'
"No!" I shouted as i grabbed whatever i could and chucked it at the wall, making things smash. Tears fell slowly down my cheeks, i got up and punch the wall, making my knuckles bruise. Before then leaning my head against the wall, crying.
This is all my fault, she says it isnt, but shes just saying that to make me feel better. I know this is my fault, I'm a fuck up. i fucked it all up now and theres no turning back, i cant turn back time.
There was a knock on the door, i instantly got up thinking it might be Alex, but of course it wouldn't.
"Go away!" I shouted
"John its me, Stu" Stu said
"I want to be alone!"
"Open the door, John your supposed to be my mate, an I'm supposed to be there for you!"
I walked over and opened the door, Stu was stood there, eyes puffy and red. He had been crying.
"Shes gone Stu" i said quietly as tears fell down my cheeks
He brought me into a hug
"I know John, this isn't your fault"
"It is my fault, i always fucked us two up"
Stu didn't respond.
"I love her so much"
"She loves you two John"
"I want to be gone"
Stu pulled away from me
"W-what" he stuttered
"I want to be with her, and if the only way is to kill myself then fuck it"
"No john! She wouldn't want you to do that, I'm gonna stay here tonight and make sure you don't do any harm to yourself"
I sighed "thanks Stu"
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Authors note- i think theres gonna be one last chapter to this before its complete. Thank you for reading, vote and comment