Reality Check

-Chapter Eleven-

Tuesday, I find myself standing outside of the local bowling alley, holding hands with Ryder. Although there are much better things to, a lot of the high schoolers hang out around here. Specifically today, Kayla Trainer is having a big get together where she rented out the alley and invited almost the whole school.

Ryder and I still have yet to go public, so we found this as the perfect opportunity when we were hanging out and each got the message. So, with that, we walk into the building together. As soon as people see us, they stare. Some look super happy, others are scowling, and some don't seem to care.

Conner, of course, is one of the many that see us and immediately shoots a smirk in my direction. I shake my head at him, telling him that he hasn't won yet.

He furrows his eyebrows, points to the arcade, then holds up five fingers, basically telling me to meet him down there in five. I nod in his direction, then turn to Ryder.

"So, I should probably explain all of this to Conner while you make sure every female in this school doesn't hate me," I tell Ryder with a grin.

I am starting to really enjoy my time with him and it has only been days. I have come to realize that not only is he super funny, but he is super sweet too. Not in a way that I could fall in love with him though, he is strictly a friend after this. That is, if he wants to continue being my friend.

"Of course, see you later Addie," he grins.

"See you," I nod in his direction with a large smile.

Ryder has been nothing but that perfect boyfriend in the stories that I read when I was younger. He has been sweet, funny, and understanding.

I jog into the arcade room and find Conner standing by a claw machine sipping on a soda.

"What's going on? You are dating Ryder, yet I haven't won yet? Obviously, you have feelings for him or else you wouldn't date him. Unless you are one of those girls who are just using him for your own personal reasons-"

"Shut up! Ryder and I are dating, but it is for my plan to get a point. Ryder is bound to screw up eventually, just like every other guy in the world," I tell him.

"Ah, so I am going to win then? Ryder is a great guy, he isn't going to hurt you any time soon. My plan is going to go by much quicker and definitely has a chance of working," he says cockily.

"Okay, whatever you wish to believe. I know Ryder has to do something stupid eventually. He is a popular boy that every girl thinks is super hot, basically, he is a better version of you."

"Hey, I am super awesome," Conner pouts.

"Sure," I nod sarcastically.

"You can't deny it. Anyways, I can't believe you are using Ryder. He is probably one of the nicest guys you could meet, you are really going to try to ruin that just to prove me wrong?"

"I am hoping that I won't ruin everything. If I can forgive Ryder after he 'breaks my heart', he should forgive me for doing this. I am actually enjoying my time with him but I just can't find myself liking him more than a friend," I explain.

"Maybe that is because you are making sure to shut him out, for what reason, I have no clue. I just know that something had to have happened in your life where you will not allow yourself to fall in love," he says.

Immediately my heart races and I feel as if my whole body shuts down. The memories flood through my mind as I quickly shake my head, as if to rid it of everything. That is not why I can't let myself love, I can't love because love isn't real. It is a horrible, fake thing that I will never allow into my life.