Four seasons

Chapter 1. Birthdays and nightmares

My silk dress is light on my body, yet for some unknown reason it feels heavy tonight.

The cold breeze feels like an unwelcome pair of damp stockings clinging to my legs. My now knotted hair sticking to my face and neck with sweat. My arms feel weak and wobbly like jelly from climbing for so long, the bottom of my feet are cut and bleeding, the only feeling left in them is the longing to rest. But tonight there is time for rest. Just a little further. I hear them, their horrid cries that make your ears bleed. In that moment all I could smell was the familiar sent of James's deodorant in the distance. Slowly I closed my eyes and left myself go.
I'm out

As I slowly opend my eyes that seem to be glued shut, all I see is James's shining face infront of mine. His hazel-green eyes staring into mine. His lightly wavey brown-blonde hair sticking up in all directions. His usually light pink lips that added to his perfectly tanned skin now white  from being pressed into a straight line.
"God James, how many times must I tell you not to frown like that, you look constipated". I manage to joke with a shakey voice.
James grined playfully yet cautiously then laughed " she is still herself".
James asked me out last year on my birthday. How long have we been toge...
"Happy Birthday babe" James beamed in a warm sweet voice.
A year.
"Wait did you forget it was your birthday" James said with his once beaming face fading into a smile.
"You know birthdays aren't my thing and I haven't been sleeping well" I said in the most apologetic voice I could master.
He knew that I wasn't sleeping well but he didn't know how bad the dreams were or what they were about. I made the girls promise not to tell.

In the beginning I would kick punch and scream. Helen, one of my three insane best friends that live in the house with me, slept in the room closest to mine. She would run into my room, her short Aurbun red hair messy and her blood orange eyes clouded with fear and small from just waking up, she would have to hold me down while I struggled and when that would stop she would say in a warm honey like voice that everything would be okay. After a few weeks the struggling stopped but the screams stayed and so did the bruises. I still would wake up tierd and bruised but now I only muffled a scream.

After I had gotten ready for the day ahead I went to the kitchen. Please don't be a surprise breakfast please.
"SURPRISE" was the sound of Helen that proved that my plea would not come true.

Here infront of me was my crew, the girls I'd grown up with and knew everything there was to know about me, every lie I ever told, every compliment I ever dished out.
" We made your favourite breakfast, pancakes!" Ash piped with self satisfaction that I could see in her ice-blue eyes
Jes pushed me towards the kitchen table and sat me down. I looked down at the plate of pancakes which was really my favourite food but I honestly didn't feel like eating. Pushing myself to swallow the rock of food in my mouth which seemed to be suck in my throat I smiled to insure no one got hurt.
James massaged my shoulders and announcesd " We're going to the zoo today, and we're going to have a picnic" a smirk grew on his face that emphasised his angular cheekbones.
Don't look so proud you know that's my favourite place to go, I told you that.
Jessicas acorn brown eyes glistened with satisfaction when she saw my already naturally rosy cheeks turn a bright red. Her brown-cinammion hair was tide up in a tight pony, she was dressed in a pair of bright orange shorts and matching t-shirt that made her already olive skin look darker. As soon as I ate my last bite she grabbed my plate and put it in the sink with a angelic swiftness I envied. Ash rushed in breathing heavily and proclaimed that the car was ready. With that we all headed to the car