"Come on baby lets sit right here while we wait for your Tia" I probably look like a crazy person having a conversation with their 4 month old but I didn't care "here baby taste it" I give my little Zeus some chocolate chip ice cream and he shuts his eyes closed "aww I'm sorry. I think you got a brain freeze" I start laughing as I get his bottle ready with some water.
"Hey Ann, sorry I'm late" my sister says as she approaches our table "traffic was horrible" she says as she gives me a kiss "hey little money" she kisses Zeus & Zeus just smiles at her "beautiful baby" she smiles.
"Here I got you strawberry flavored" I smiled at her as I handed her the ice cream.
"Yum thanks" she eats her ice cream and starts playing with Zeus. Doesn't she know I'm dying to know how her lunch went with him? Haven't spoken to him in 8 months and she just had a 1 hours lunch with him and she is saying nothing.
"So are you going to tell me how it went or am I going to have to guess?" I laughed.
"I was waiting for you to ask" she gave a small smile "um but yeah we talked" she said looking down at her ice cream " it went smooth.."
"What are you not telling me?" I interrupted her
"What do you mean?" She looked at me puzzled.
"I'm not stupid Cindy, I've known you for 21 years. I know when something is wrong"
She sets her ice cream to the side and takes out her phone, "he wants you to text him. He wants to meet up" I get her phone and I see his number.
"What did you two talk about Cindy?"
"We didn't really talk much, we ate for the first 30min. It was awkward, but then I broke up the silence by asking how everything was going with his life. You know her and him, and he ended up telling me that he see's them every other weekend. He works 6 days a week with 13 hour shifts..."
"To provide for them I bet" I said as I looked at Zeus. He was playing with our spoons. " I work 10 hour shifts everyday to provide for this little one. I knew he wasnt going to provide for us.."
"Anne he doesn't live with them."
"What?" I almost spit my water out and start choking "he doesn't?" I say catching my breath.
"No Anne. He said that 5 months after he last saw you he couldn't lie anymore so he came clean. He told her everything and she kicked him out"
I don't know why but I started thinking about that day. The first day he took me to our park. It was cold and we were cuddling as we talked about our future that we planned.
"Anne he wants to meet up. He wants to meet Zeus"
"I can't Cindy" I clear my thoughts and look at my baby " I went through so much with him. So much shit for 2 years. You know how much I struggled. You know Zeus is a miracle, but I promised myself that I'll protect him..."
" protect him from what Anne? His dad? He is going to have to see him some day"
I didn't take my eyes off Zeus. He is his twin. I knew he was going to be. It doesn't hurt knowing that I see Zayn in Zeus. Zeus is my miracle and I'll forever love him.
"Anne just text him okay. Meet up without Zeus and just talk okay" she writes Zayns number on a piece of paper and hands it to me "and don't cuss around my nephew" she smiles and she kisses Zeus goodbye "love you okay, I have work"
"What do you think baby, should I text him?" I look at my kid but all he does is eat the spoon with his gums "you are 4 months you don't understand" I laugh and get his things ready to head home "cmon babe, let's go
---
I walk back in forth my room as I think about texting Zayn. Zeus didnt nap the entire day so I know he is going to be knocked out for the night. I have the message open. So far I just have "Hey". I'm thinking about it but what are the outcomes? Is he going to want to meet Zeus? Is he going to tell me that he just wants closure? I don't know my mind is everywhere right now.
"Mija"
"Holy crap mom you scarred me" I jump a little since I thought I was going to die.
"What's wrong?" She looked at me puzzled "is Zeus asleep?"
"Ugh yeah mom. He is asleep for the night" I smile at her "um I'm debating if I should text Zayn" I show her my phone "but i don't know"
"Do it"
"What?" I looked at her surprised "por que?"
"Cindy told me what happened, he might of changed. Just do it"
"Um okay mom, I'm going to sleep now" I tell her as a close the door "love you"
I lay down and I'm thinking. I need to stop thinking. I should just do it.
I look to my right and I see Zeus sleeping, "I'm going to text your dad"
To: Zayn
- Its Anne...
I sent the message and it honestly felt like eternity. 1 second felt like a minute and 1 minute felt like a year. It felt to long. Then I feel my phone vibrate.
From: Zayn
- I thought she wasn't going to give you my number..
To: Zayn
- I thought I wasn't going to text you..
From: Zayn
- well I'm glad you did. How's our son?..
Our son? Last time I checked he hasn't been here for the past 8 months. Hell he hasn't been here since I found out I was pregnant.
To: Zayn
-my son is great. He is sleeping right now.
From: Zayn
-who's fault is it that he is "your" son? You told me to back off
To: Zayn
-I wanted you to fight for us, you should have fought for us. You shouldn't of went through with what i said. If you loved me you would of came..
From: Zayn
-I need to see you. I need to see him. We need to talk in person not through text..
To: Zayn
-why in person? It's not like you are going to say anything. You never say how you feel until it's too late..
From: Zayn
-it's my day off tomorrow and I know it's yours too. Meet me at the park were we had our first date at 2 okay?
I read the message and I look at Zeus, "baby I know you don't understand but should I see him? Do you want to meet him? Do you want him in your life?" I know he can't do anything but Zeus has to give me a sign "give me a sign baby, please" I start crying as I see my baby sleeping I put my finger in my hand and start tracing his outlines "cause it's nice to love and be loved but I rather know what God knows" I was singing and right there Zeus squeezed my finger.
To: Zayn
-I'll be there..
