—August 31st—
"Don't be scared Luke, it's just a quick pinch," the nurse's voice was cool as she spoke.
"It's just different, it's weird. I don't like this," Luke said. He swallowed hard as he tightened his left hand into a fist. The pinch was subtle and quick, just like the nurse said, but it was definitely there. He felt the band-aid stick to his skin and then he pulled away from the woman who held his arm to keep it in place. "Are we done?"
"Yes, we are. Good job Luke, you didn't squirm and it turned out okay right?" The nurse's voice was peppy and Luke wondered if she was smiling at him. Did she even try to smile for him? It's not like he could tell, but he still wanted to know if she had made that small effort. Did she smile for someone who couldn't see her smile? Or did she just frown and fake a laugh?
She didn't even say goodbye to him before leaving. The other nurse did, the nurse with the shoes that clicked and clacked whenever she entered the room. Luke liked the nurse with the clicking and clacking shoes, she was excessively polite and would tell him about the weather every day. He would imagine the weather sometimes, visualize a whole scene in his head. He would pretend he was sitting on a park bench instead of a hospital bed, that the wires around his body were just his earbuds draped around his neck. And it would be green and grassy, with the scent of vanilla ice cream not too far away. It would be windy, not too windy so that hats would fly off people's heads, but just breezy enough that he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck sway.
He did this a lot now. When he got really bored, which was always, he would go through a whole day in his head. From uni to work to his apartment, and maybe he would grab a quick slice of pizza with Michael, or go surfing with Ashton. But he would probably end up staying at home, helping Calum with the numbers and receipts from the shop, and then go to Riley's to binge-watch movies at night. Luke would laugh sometimes when he recalled certain memories, like when Riley got Michael's car stuck in the mud and when Ashton almost drowned at the pool. But then there were moments when he remembered things that made him want to just curl up and bawl his eyes out.
Whenever Luke woke up, he wouldn't know what time it was. There was this talking clock thing, but its voice was robotic and Luke would rather imagine that he was waking up at 7 AM instead of 3:12 in the late afternoon. But the time wasn't the worst part, the worst part was waking up and only seeing light. Bright, frighteningly blurry lights. A lot of people would think that he could only see a vast blackness, but in reality, he didn't see black or white or any colors at all. He simply saw... Nothing. His body would be awake, but his mind was screaming, and sometimes he would hear a voice that sounded like his, screaming along. It's like he was trapped in a small box, and that the box was slowly growing smaller and smaller, tightening around him. He wanted colors, he wanted movement, he wanted beautiful things that were so spectacular that they could be seen in the darkest of rooms. The only time he saw colors was in his dreams. In his dreams, there were sunrises, a girl with crazy eyes and long brown hair named Riley, and a world where he didn't feel completely and utterly powerless.
He wouldn't say a word about these things in front of Michael or Calum or Ashton. They thought he was so strong to make it so far, but Luke just wanted to actually see how far he had gone. Riley hadn't visited him yet, they said she will at some point but they always sound scared when they say it. Would she be proud to see him making it so far? Maybe she didn't even want him anymore. She probably didn't want to carry his dead weight around as she made it to be the number one beautician in Sydney. Luke quickly pushed that thought out of his head. Of course, she would be there, she has to be there—they promised him didn't they?
The door clicked and his head turned in the direction he assumed the sound had come from.
"Hey Luke, it's Binh." It was the clicking and clacking nurse. He smiled a little at her. Luke had no idea what she looked like, but he would always envision a Snow White kind of character. With short dark hair and ruby red lips. "And today Luke, I brought two of your friends. Michael and Ashton." Two of his friends never visited at the same time before. They always came separately, as if there was always this unsaid wall between them.
"Hey, Luke!" Ashton chirped. Luke grinned as the pair of footsteps grew closer. "I bumped into Michael in the lobby and figured we could come together." Ashton put a hand on Luke's shoulder, slowly easing him to a sleeping position. "Relax Luke," Ashton whispered soothingly. Ashton's breath smelled like mint. Too much mint to be refreshing and too much mint for his breath to smell good, but enough mint to show that he was hiding something.
"You've been drinking again," Luke murmured. But he smiled nervously when he said it. The last thing he wanted to do was lose a friend right now. "Did you drive yourself here?"
"No, I was good about that part," Ashton replied. "Called a cab."
"Hey, Luke." A pair of blonde heads turned towards the voice. Michael looked down as he spoke up as if he was afraid of seeing them. "I just brought some of the bread you liked from that bakery downtown," he informed him. He then tried to wave his hand, but quickly regretted it after.
"I'm gonna go for now Luke, I've got some errands to do. I'm not busy tomorrow, so I think I'll swing by." And all Luke could imagine was a blur of green hair leaving the room. Michael's visits were usually longer, but then again, Michael's visits also never had Ashton there.
"How're you, Ashton?" Luke asked as the door closed
"Fine. I sold my car," Ashton said somberly. "I got a DUI and my license was revoked, and it was a shitty car anyway. Just don't tell the others though please?" Luke nodded, he was worried; but he just nodded. Whenever Ashton came he would unload all his problems, and Luke would always listen and nod. He liked hearing about his friend's life, but it was hard when he couldn't be a part of it.
But Ashton still smiled with all his problems, so Luke would think he's fine. They then continued the conversation with some harmless banter. Neither of them mentioned anything about the whole Riley situation, but it was constantly at the back of all of their minds, but there was nothing they could do right now. After all, it's not like they could bring another Riley into Luke's life; at least that's what Michael thought on the car ride home.
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a/n: i have edited this chapter as when i wrote this chapter i was under the false perception that blind people could only see darkness, but after doing more research i have tried my best to correct this and try to give a more accurate view of what blind people see. i don't want to offend anyone that is blind or knows anyone that is blind, please message or tell me what i can do to improve this story as i am always welcome to your corrections.
thank you.
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echo // hemmings [completed]
Fanfictionin which three boys need to fix something and one girl needs to be something (disclaimer: angst + death) - highest rankings: #59 sadstory #65 michaelclifford #65 5sosfanfiction #101 5sosfanfic #48 5sosau - i started this story when i was 13 so i a...