Face Your Fears

Chapter 15

"Thank you so, so much for doing this. I mean, you're the best photographer on this side of Manhattan, and I know you're very busy and - " 

"Really, it's not a problem," I said, cutting off the excited mother before she could blab my ear off into the next century. "It's my job."

Not that I was conceited or anything, but it was kind of flattering that I occasionally had a few clients that tripped over their feet whenever I was able to set up a photo shoot with them. 

I'd just finished up a photo shoot for this seventeen-year-old boy's senior pictures in Central Park, I'd just gotten my last payment, and I was ready to go home. It was barely noon, but I was bloody exhausted. 

The other week when my sisters and I had sat around the table with our mother and she'd told us about our father had been an insanely long day. I still wasn't sure if I had completely recovered from it, either.

 I hadn't left until sometime around nine in the evening, and by that time we'd gone through two photo albums, a home video and an entire box of tissues. The emotions brought on by everything that had been said that night were not pleasant and not easy to deal with; a week later and I was still reeling from it all. 

As much as I hated seeing my little sisters and my mom crying, seeing them in so much pain, it had been good for us. All of the cards had been laid out on the table, and we now knew where everyone stood in our family...to an extent where I was involved, I supposed.

It was going to take a while for everything to go back to normal, but I sincerely hoped that April, May and June knew that even if I was emotionally inept, I was still their older brother and that I'd be there for them no matter what. I just wished I'd done that sooner. 

 I bid the woman and her son goodbye after assuring them that I would have their proofs in the mail within the week. 

I made my way through Central Park with a quick gait, anxious to get home as soon as possible. The second I walked through the front door I had every intention of throwing myself onto the bed face first and sleeping for the next twenty-four hours. 

The more time wore on, the more I realized that there was an equation involved whenever Hadley and I went to bed at the same time.

If the baby was up and active, that meant Hadley was up and active, which meant that I was up and active the entire freaking night. I swear, my legs were covered in bruises from how many times Hadley had kicked me when she'd roll around in bed, trying to get comfortable to fall asleep. 

Considering everything that was going on at the moment, I was a little more at ease when Hadley was in sight, but she was at work today and I had to get some sleep. I doubted I'd be able to function much longer on two hours of sleep a night any longer. 

 I trudged my way down into the subway and stood in a daze, waiting for the train that would stop close by the apartment to arrive. When the train arrived I stumbled my way on and took a seat in the back, leaned my head back against the window and tried to keep my eyes open. Falling asleep on the subway never did anybody any good. 

"...Mom. Mom, I'm hungry. Can we get some food before we go to your office? Please?"

I glanced over at the sound of a very annoyed, upset voice that broke over the din of the blabbing people on the train. A young girl, a few years younger than the triplets, probably, was sitting in the seat across from me, next to a woman who obviously worked somewhere close to Wall Street. She was avidly tapping away on an iPhone and clearly not paying any attention to her daughter. 

 The girl heaved an exasperated sigh when her mother remained silent, distracted by her cell phone.

It was a little creepy, I know, for me to be sitting there and watching this girl try and get her mother's attention, but something about this scene was far too familiar to me.