Fenris,
The Maker is a twisted bastard.
I don't want to dream anymore. Every visit to the Fade is sickening. Every time I lay my head on my pillow I think that perhaps I could miss meeting her this time. Or perhaps this time.
I don't want it anymore. It drives me mad and I stop sleeping. I stop sleeping and then I start to hallucinate. I see her even when I am awake.
I can't focus on anything else. It's awful. I just think of her. It's wrong.
She looks so upset. She misses you and your children. She begs for me to help her escape, but I never can get her out. I've tried so hard. Forgive me.
I wanted to keep this secret. I never wanted you to find this out, but I feel that I should just say it.
I loved Hawke. I did.
There was no affair, I promise. She was loyal to you until the end. I'm glad she was happy with you.
I know this will only make you hate me more. I felt it needed to be said anyway.
Fenris, for all I have said to you in the past, I am sorry. You are not the horrible man I made you out to be.
I know you will not forgive me, but please just know I am so sorry for your loss.
Sincerely,
Anders
