Academy of Secrets (original version)

Virtual Laser Tag

    Session-H sucked. I wanted to see Reevus “pay attention” when the oldest man on the planet gave a lesson about the process of alien immigration.  Not to mention our teacher had the most soothing voice. Dr. Gen should’ve taught kindergarten. Then none of the kids would have any trouble napping. Even my stupid computer at home had more emotion in its voice. The most interesting thing about the class was Dr. Gen’s insane hairdo. He could’ve passed for a mad scientist.

“Now who can tell me the day the U.S agreed to the immigration of alien species?” said Dr. Gen.

“Friday the thirteenth,” said Melina.

Some of the people in class laughed. Others, especially aliens, gave her poisonous looks. Dr. Gen twirled his nametag on his finger, something he did when angry.

“That’s window-washing duty Ms. Cortez. Now can anyone answer the question?”

 “April 19, 2257.”

Tami mumbled her answer into her desk. Dr. Gen perked up, pointing his finger.

“Who said that? That’s correct! It sounded like you Ms. Jordan!”

Tami just nodded without looking at him. Dr. Gen grinned and gave her points for participation. I felt my eyelids grow heavy. My head rested against my hand so that I lifted half my face. At one point, I just went face-down on my desk and took a nice nap. That is, until Dr. Gen slammed his hands on my desk.

“So Allison, what’s the answer to the question I just asked?”

I flailed awake. My voice came out slurred.

“Uh, seventy-three!”

“Allison, I just asked the name of the human general in the First Galactic war.”

“Well maybe his parents got creative!”

The entire class burst into laughter. Even Tami giggled into her digital, trying and failing to hide it. Dr. Gen shook his head, muttering something about teenagers.

“The general was female, Allison. I’ll have a special pop quiz just for you tomorrow. And considering you can’t even get the gender right, I’d recommend studying.”

In trouble again, surprise, surprise. After another ten years, the horn finally sounded.  Everyone swarmed to the door to avoid the awkward alone-in-the-classroom-with-the-teacher moment. I waited for Tami outside of the classroom.

“Does that happen to you in all your classes?” she asked after joining me.

Her soft voice was almost swallowed by all the chatter, but I managed to hear her.

“Pretty much. I get more sleep at school than I do at night.”

Someone from behind us bumped me in the shoulder. Bitch-of-the-month Melina shoved herself between Tami and me.

“Hope you have fun with that pop quiz tomorrow,” she said.

“More fun than window washing duty.”

“At least I’m not writing a report about penises.”

I drove my elbow into her ribs. Before I could do more, Melina slapped the back of my head and whacked Tami’s digital on the floor. Then her asshole-ness took off running ahead of us.

“I’m pretty sure she’s Satan’s cousin, twice removed.”

“She’s—mean.”

Tami picked up her digital and stared ahead, like she couldn’t comprehend that. I shrugged.