You're Not My Flavor

Chill Those Pants of Yours

Chapter Twenty-One: Chill Those Pants of Yours

“Tati…” I groan, holding my spinning head. There’s fluffy white pie smothered onto it. I’m covered in pieces of chicken, and some kind of grease that smells like a pig’s breath. 

She just giggles like the drunken lad she is. “Weeeeee….”

I shake off the remaining pieces of food, then dust off my shoulders. “I don’t look like a knight in shining armor anymore.” 

My eyes glance up to see that the orchestra stopped playing a while ago. People dressed in big Cinderella dresses pause in whatever they’re doing just to stare at us. The table we crashed into broke, so all the food slid onto us and the floor. We’re a pretty amusing sight; if I wasn’t such in a bad mood, I’d probably be laughing like a hyena.

“Bart!” An angry Mexican voice hollers from the crowd.

Oh shit.

I can either:

A-Run like hell is chasing my ass.

B-Stand up, confuse the hell outta her, then proceed to run like hell is chasing my ass.

Or C-Take it like a macho man.

B sounds pretty damn good right about now.

I see her wrinkles of stress that I caused over the years come into view. She’s seeing red; I can tell. “BART! I’M GOING TO- ”

I shush her, standing up and almost slip on some mangos that are splattered onto the floor. “Now is not the time for cheese and crackers.”

“My head…” Tati moans, leaning back into the table, making no effort to get up any time soon. “Oh my head…”

“Tatiana,” Elena hisses. “What did you do?”

Tatiana doesn’t answer. Instead, she just sits there, sprawled against the broken table with food eating away at her. I almost feel bad for the little terd. But I know better; she is a she-devil and she deserves it. Elena’s eyes cast back over to me. “CLEAN IT UP!”

“Au contraire, mon frère. I must go save a life and act as if I were Iron Man saving the world.” I do a superman pose, looking off into the distance. “Tally-ho!”

With that, I take off through the crowd of people, leaving Elena there to wallow in misery. Hey, I’m sorry. I seriously need to save Harley and get her ass to the wedding, we’re we will both be safe.

I head over to the balcony where I took Harley and Nora’s kids to. That’s the most likely place where she would be. I slowly creep up the stairs, eyeing around. Mitch is nowhere to be found, but I did find Harley. She’s sitting in the middle of the balcony, tied to a chair with rope. Her back is facing me, but I can see her hands are tied behind her back, and her legs are tied up also.