Nothing Personal {Jalex- Book 3}

Chapter 12: Mixed Drinks, Mixed Feelings

There was one thing going through my head in the moment Alex and got caught by my good friend Rian... Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. We're screwed. 

I removed my lips from Alex's and put my face in his neck like he would shield me from the reality of the situation. I knew it was futile so I stepped away from him, muttering curse words under my breath as I did. 

While I was doing that Rian had shut the kitchen door behind him and turned back to look accusingly at us. 

"What the fuck is going on?" Rian asked us in a hushed tone.

"I... We... Jack?" Alex looked to me when he couldn't find the words.

"Uh, we're drunk." I said lamely. 

Rian narrowed his eyes, "I might've believed you if it were later in the night, but you just got here. I'm also not an idiot. What's been going on?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I mumbled, looking at the floor. Shit could come tumbling down at any minute. If Lisa were to walk through that door we'd be fucked. 

"So now you're just going to deny it?" Rian asked.

"No," Alex bit his lip and cringed a little, "Look, it's complicated."

Ri threw his arms up, "When is it not?" 

"We've been secretly dating on and off for the past six years or something," I blurted out quickly, "That's why we've been weird around each other some times. That's why we kiss on stage. That's why we hang out so much. That's why I make so many jokes about it."

Rian stared at us for a moment, "Six years?" We nodded hesitantly. He took a deep breath, "How have you kept it from everyone for six years? And Alex why the fuck are you with Lisa?" 

"We couldn't tell anyone," I explained. 

"And I'm with her because it covers me and Jack up," Alex added.

"Why don't you tell people?" Rian questioned, "Why didn't you tell me and Zack? We're your brothers man."

"We don't want people to judge us and it's better for the band if we just keep it hidden," Alex told him, "We didn't tell you because... Fuck, I don't know."

"I can understand that you don't want to public to judge you and the band too, but," Rian said,"Has Zack or I ever said anything bad about homosexuality?"

"No."

"Then why in the fucking world would you think we'd hate you?"

"I don't know!" Alex whisper-yelled, "This is all too fucking stressful. I fucking love Jack and the only way I can be with him is to keep it a secret. It's the only way. I'm sorry, Rian. I don't know what you think it is, but it's not fucking personal. We kept it a secret for each other. Not because we don't trust you.

"And now that you know it's a danger to us," he continued, "It's harder this way. Now you have to keep the secret and we didn't want to put that on you. I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm sorry." 

Rian came closer to us, "It's okay, man. You're secrets safe with me. I want you guys to be happy." He pulled Alex into a hug and then me. "You should tell Zack though. That way on tour you don't have to hide from us."

"Okay," Alex nodded, looking at me, "I think we can do that. Right, Jack?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

We all kinda just stood there for a bit awkwardly. It felt good to come out to Rian, as a couple I mean, he already knew I was bi. It was scary but I knew it would be okay. He was a great friend and I knew he only wanted what was best for us. 

"Can I just say something?" Rian asked, with a slight smile on his face.

Alex looked at me then back to him, "Um, I guess."

"When you were saying that stuff I kind of feared for my life. Like, you said I was a danger to you and I was thinking you were gonna say you had to get rid of me next," Rian laughed.

"Shit, Ri," Alex smiled, "I couldn't off you. But if you fuck with us I'll have to send Jack after you."

Rian looked at me, "This noodle could beat up a fly."

"I beat up Alex's ass pretty good," I muttered before I could stop myself. 

"Jack!" Alex yelled, punching me in the arm. I chuckled and threw my arm around my blushing boyfriend's shoulder.

"Okay," Rian gagged, "Enough of that now. Let's go out to the party."

"'Kay," I said as Rian turned around. I took Alex's hand in mine and squeezed reassuringly. He pecked my lips quickly and silently let go of my hand so he could lead the way. I followed.