Beautiful Disaster~ Justin Bieber ~

Chapter 9 - Bonfire

I carefully shut the door behind me and walked behind Noah. Justin stopped me before I could walk up to the door. " Can I talk to you?" he asked. I kicked some gravel in the driveway as I walked behind him. " What do you need to talk about?" I asked. He just stared at me for a moment. I hated when people stared. " What were you and Jase talking about today at practice?" he asked. " Why?" I asked cautiously. I could feel my palms get sweaty. I hate talking to people. At least people that I don't like.

'But you do like him' a voice in my head said

" I was just wondering. Jase doesn't talk to a lot of people. Nither do you." he pointed out.  " Why don't you like me?" he asked. " I never said I didn't like you." I stated. Well, not directly, I don't think. " I didn't say you were a waste of time" he whispered. His hand was placed a little higher than my head, against his range rover.

" He asked me if I was going to your bonfire tonight." I sighed. " What did you say?" he smirked. " I told him that I wasn't invited." I said calmly. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked up at him. " So, you're not coming?" he asked, guilt all over his face.

" You don't have to be nice to me just because I'm Noah's little sister." I snapped. " I thought we already went through this." he hissed. I rolled my eyes. " I'm going to go" I said hastily.

" I want you to come" he spoke just above a whisper. " Why?" I asked. I moved gravel with the tip of my shoe as we stood in silence. '' I like you." he said.

" You don't know me." I said with simpathy. " You could do so much better than me, I promise." I said. It was the truth.

" Don't say that." he said holding my hand, I jumped.

" are you afriad I'm going to hit you or something?" he asked. " What? No." I said cutting off the conversation.

" You're too good for me." I said truthfully. " Why can't you see how beautiful you are. You're an amazing person." he said.

" Thanks" I stated. I wish I could believe that he was right. " Hey, here's my number." he said pulling out a pen, writing it on my arm. " incase I don't see you tonight. Text me the songs." he said. He placed a kiss on my forhead and smiled at me. I could still feel where his hands touched my skin. His hands were rough, but not to rough. I looked down at my arm feeling the same fire sensation.

" Bye Emily" he said. I gave a slight nod and walked up the walkway. I opened the door and saw my mom standing infront of me.

" Ohhhhh Em. He likes you." smirked. " I don't think so." I lied. " Emily, come on. Just give him a chance. Just trust him a little bit." she smiled. She knows that I can't and wont trust anyone.

" alright mom." I said walking upstiars. It took me longer to reach the top. I couldn't take my eyes off the wall. " Emily sweetie!" my mom called behind me. " yeah?"

" I picked up your medication. You need to come take some." she said. With a sigh I walked back down the stairs. Everything was making me tired. 

I looked at all the pills that were spread out on the counter. I started at the left and worked my way to the right. Seven. Seven pills. I didn't need them. I don't think I did. They don't help. At all. They make everything worse. I make everything worse.--

"Emily what are you doing? Get ready. Justin is waiting downstairs." Noah said running hastily into my room. " Thanks but I'm not going. Tell me how it goes." I said opening my book. I seemed to be reading a lot lately. It just allows me to escape, just for a moment.

" Of course you're going Em. Cut the drama. Lets go" he said reaching for my arm. I jumped and moved back. " I told you I'm not going." I hissed.

" How long is this going to go on Emily. I'm so fucking tired." He snapped, holding his phone in his hands. " how long is what going to go on?" I spat.

" Everything is about you. All the damn time." he hissed. " are you on drugs?" I asked. " What? SHUT UP. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP" he hissed. " what is your problem, why are you yelling at me?" I cried. " I got excepted to Harvard today. I went to tell mom, and what did she say? " that's great Noah, how as Emily at school today?" he spat. " I'm sorry" I didn't know what else to say really, I was glad he got in to Harvard.

" It's always fucking about you. Always. Wondering where you are, if you're eating, if you're taking your medication. Mom is always trying to think of ways to get rid of your nightmares. It's never about anyone but you and you don't even care. You just do whatever the hell you want. You don't care about anyone but yourself." he yelled. I didn't say anything. " You know I'm right. Mom and Dad are always worried if you're going to end up dead in a ditch somewhere." he hissed.

I took a step forward and grabbed my phone. " Well you don't have to worry about that anymore." I said slipping on my shoes.

" I'm already dead."