How Santa Learned the Truth About Christmas
Copyright © 1997 Wayne Hicks
There's something to be said for being different. I've often found that the little pointiness of my ears gets me attention, and not all of it is unwanted. That's kinda the way it was last year, right after the Boss and I had our big blowup.
Y'see, I was never too keen on cold weather. To me, it's one of those things in life that you have to put up with, but nothing to be happy about, and that's what caused the blowup. The Boss decided that I had to go along on the Big Night, and I tried every nice way I could to get out of it, but he wouldn't listen. Finally I just told him, "Nope! Sorry, Boss but flyin' around at thirty thousand feet in an open sleigh, with nothin' but a silly green coat and a pointy hat just ain't my idea of how to spend Christmas Eve!"
Just figured it out, didn't you. Yeah, okay, I'm an elf! Wanna make somethin' of it?
Sorry. I get a little sensitive about my heritage. So many people poke fun at elves that I guess I get a little paranoid whenever I have to mention it!
Anyway, Santa got really ticked, said things like what kind of elf was I, didn't I know my place, what about all the little brats, yah yah yah! Mrs. C. was afraid he'd have another stroke, so I just gave up tryin' to reason with him, and later that night I packed up and split! Caught a cargo flight headed back to the WeBeToys warehouse in Florida, and the next morning I was stretched out on the beach at Miami.
(Whoops! Forget I mentioned that cargo flight. Ever since the UFO scares in the fifties, the world's governments have required us to keep our existence a secret, sort of, and the cargo runs come under the heading of some government alphabet groups even the U.N. doesn't know about!)
Anyway, early December in Miami, Florida is a lot like spring in the northern parts of the U.S., so the water was warm and people were swimming and sunbathing all around me. I picked up a chaise on the way to the beach, laid back in it and soaked up some rays! I'd been there about an hour when she laid out a towel next to me.
Now, contrary to popular misconceptions, elves are human! Granted, we live an awful long time compared to most folks, and we're short (don't even go there!), and of course, there's the ear thing, but the sight of a pretty girl in a fairly modest bathing suit caused me to get a touch of a headache from peekin' out the corner of my eye. She was tall for me (most girls are but I like them that way), had long blond hair, a perfect figure, a face like an angel, and the bluest eyes I'd ever seen! I peeked hard!
She noticed.
After about ten minutes she looked me right in the eye, and said, "Okay, look. You're watching me, and I'm watching you. Are you the kind of guy I can trust, or should I run away now?"
Direct, and to the point! I like that in a girl.
"I think I'm okay," I said. "What about you? I mean, you're gorgeous, so that's why I'm lookin'. Why are you lookin'?" I can give as good as I get.
"Your ears," she answered. I started to bristle, but she went on. "I've never seen ears that were really pointy, and I think they're adorable!"
So, like I said, not all the attention my ears get is bad.
We started talkin' then, and the day seemed to sort of slip away. I told her all about where I had come from, and I could tell she didn't know whether to believe me or not, at first. Then, when she did believe, she kept saying how cool it was, and I didn't want to burst her bubble, so I toned down the fight between me and the Boss. She had such beautiful eyes…
I hadn't even noticed that the sun was getting low, when she said," Look, um…"
"Elford," I supplied. Somehow, despite the exchange of biographies, we hadn't gotten around to introductions.
"Veronica. Look, Elford, I'm really enjoying talking to you, but I do have something to do this evening."
I tried not to show that I was crushed. I had been about to suggest dinner and a movie; that Tool Guy was doing some new flick about the Boss, and I'd heard good reviews. "Well, that's okay," I said, "I'm sure I can find something as wonderful as your company to occupy myself for the lonely years ahead of me."
She laughed, not cruelly, but kinda sweet. "I was about to say, why don't you come along."
YES! My heart cried. I was utterly shocked when my lips said, "Oh, no, really, you go on. You prob'ly got friends to see, and all, and I'd just be in the way." (Shut up, shut up, shut up! I was silently screaming at myself.)
She smiled. I was getting really fond of that smile. "Actually, y'know, after talking to you so long, I feel like we've become pretty good friends. But there is a friend of mine, in fact, that I'd like you to meet. So, please? Come with me?"
I think I had the chaise folded before she got her towel picked up. I went to my hotel, promising to meet her at the front lobby door in twenty minutes!
She was waiting for me in a nice red convertible. Somehow, it seemed to fit her. I climbed in, and she smiled and started driving. "Nice car," I said, over the wind and the motor.
She looked at me, that sweet little smile on her face. I knew elves and normals weren't supposed to get romantically involved, but the thought crossed my mind that this girl was perfect for me! She said, "I hope you like music!" Her hair whipped behind her, adding sparkle to her smile.
"Oh, yeah! I like music, all kinds!" I was startin' to grin like a lovesick elflet.
She smiled even more.
We parked in front of a rundown little building. I noticed that there were a lot of cars, everything from nice luxury models to rusted hulks that shoulda been in the junkyard. Veronica climbed out, and I followed.
We entered the building, and there were more people in there than I thought the place could hold! They were sitting on these long benches, and up front, there was a little raised platform with a speaker's stand in the middle, and a lady off to the side who was playing (if you can call it that) a piano. Veronica led me to the front bench, and we sat down.
I was starting to feel a little out of place, when a man walked to the speaker's stand and said, "Well, ain't it good to come together in the house of the Lord!"
All those people yelled out, "Amen!" and I almost jumped out a window!
There followed a few minutes when the guy up front shouted out some stuff about helpin' us to "have ears to hear" (I thought at first he was makin' a crack about me), and about sendin' some spirit to do somethin', and I was just about ready to tell Veronica I was leavin', when it all got quiet. The guy up front smiled, then looked right at Veronica, and said, "And, now, Miss Veronica Chapel has a special message in song!"
Veronica reached over and took my hand for a second. "I hope you like this," she whispered. "I picked this first song just for you!"
She walked slowly up to the stand and picked up a microphone. And then she sang.
The piano lady had been playing rather poorly before. Now her fingers caressed the keys the way a mother caresses the face of a newborn baby. The notes that floated across the room were almost as sweet as the sound that gently issued from the girl who had so brightened this warm, December day for a neurotic elf who had lost his place in the world.
"Come, they told me, Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum," she sang. I listened with a sense of wonder as she used her soft, warm voice to tell a tale about a young drummer boy who was invited to come and see a little baby, and of his wonder at the chance to play his drum for a child who would someday be a king. It was a beautiful story, and I was sorry when I realized it was coming to an end.
