Fighter |No Longer writing|

Part 15

Katherine's POV   

 I waited until my face wasn’t red, and stepped out of the car. I walked right past Martin and rushed to my room. I fell on to my bed and let my pillow collect my weeps. I looked at my side table, and opened the small drawer. A small pile of four old razor blades sat in the corner. I wiped the tears from under my eyes and stared at the razors that got so much use out of them.

“Why can’t I accept it when people try to help me? Why do I just push people away? Why does it have to be the people I care about?” these questions dragged through my mind as the thin razor blade lingered over the fresh skin. I bit my bottom; the blood ran down my leg faster than the tears down my cheek. I wrapped my thigh with a red towel and lied down on my bed.

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“Miss Katherine, dinner is ready,” Martin said waking me up. Thankfully I had a blanket covering the lower part of my body.

“Thanks, I’ll be down in a minute,” I said sitting up. Martin left to go serve everyone. I set my feet on the ground and headed towards the door. The towel hit the floor, and lied in my path. I looked down, being able to see dried up blood on my thigh. I grabbed a damp wash cloth from the bathroom and patted the fresh cuts. They burned under the cool touch. I changed in to some longer pants, and a shirt before heading down stairs. I could hear the deep voices thanking Martin as he set the food on their plates.

“What are you wearing?” Amy whispered as I reached for the dining room door.

“Clothes?”

“You know the rules. Look presentable,” she said turning me around. I huffed as I started up the stairs again. I wrapped my arms around my growling stomach.  I couldn’t find anything else with long enough pant legs, and long enough sleeves. Martin was in the middle of doing my laundry. I plopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I debated going down and not caring what the consequences would be, or stay here until everyone’s gone. I sat there as my stomach growled louder, and louder.

   I could hear my dad saying good night to the twins, and walked down the hall to his room. I tip toed down the stairs and saw Martin making a late night snack.

“Is there anything left?” I asked. Martin revealed a plate already made, covered with plastic wrap.

“What would you like to drink?” Martin asked with a smile.

“Just water, please,” I said taking the plastic wrap off. I threw it in the micro wave to heat it up. I sat on a bar stool, eating of my plate that Martin had prepared.

“I’ll be in my room if you need anything,” Martin said walking out of the kitchen.

“Thank you for this,” I said quietly. I rinsed my plate off and put it in the dishwasher. I walked in to the living room and was about to turn on the TV when something outside caught my eye. A dark figure sat by the edge of the pool, letting their feet dangle in the water. I looked closely and saw curls at the ends of the hair on their head. I took a deep breath before slowly opening the door. I walked towards the pool and sat down next to him.

“You’re up,” He smiled.

“I want to apologize for everything,” I said looking down at the water.

Harry put his arm around my shoulders and brought our bodies closer together.

“It’s not your fault,” he whispered in to my ear. I dropped my head; I could feel my chin against my chest. I squeezed my eyelids shut feeling the tears rush down. Along with the tears came guilt, I barely knew Harry, but I knew how disappointed he would be if he knew what I did.

“What is it,” Harry asked wrapping his other arm around me, he was comforting. I tried my hardest not to push him away. He brought his hand up and placed it on the back of my head, letting my head rest on his shoulder. I shook my head and wiped the tears.

“You can talk to me,” Harry said sliding his hand on to my thigh. I winced as he lightly squeezed it. I tried making it look as painless as possible. The way his hand lied on my pants, pressing the irritating material against the small lumps trying to heal.  Harry backed his face away, looking at every inch of mine. His lips parted, the corner of his eyes became glossy. I tired clearing the lump in my throat, but it wouldn’t go away. Harry slithered his hands up to my cheeks. He firmly held my head in the palms of his huge hands and looked me dead in the eye.

“Promise me you won’t do it again,” he asked in a shaky voice. I blankly started at the ground just beside Harry. I felt numb; I didn’t know how to respond. If I said yes, I’d be lying. If I said no, he’d never leave. So I tried my best at telling him the truth.

“I’ll try,” I whispered back. He forced my face in to his, our lips colliding for the first time. My first instinct was to push him away. But something inside of me told me to keep calm and carry on. We slowly backed away from each other, taking in what had just happened.

“Do you want me to walk you to your room?” Harry asked putting his hand on my back to try to comfort me. I was speechless, so I just nodded. Harry took his feet out of the water and jumped up. He held his hands out and helped me up off the ground. He opened the glass door and let me walk inside first. We walked side by side up the stairs; we stopped outside my door and faced each other.

“Good night,” Harry smiled down to me.

“Do you want to come in?” I asked. “Not to do what it sounds like,” I stated.

“I’d love to,” Harry chuckled. I opened the door, Harry followed. My eyes darted to the open drawer on my side table as i closed the door behind Harry. I sped walked past Harry and slammed it shut. “Everything all right?”

“Yep. Everything’s fine,” I smiled sitting down on my bed. I watched Harry curiously walk around my room. I didn’t regret letting him in, I knew if I let him go to his room, I would have done worse damage to myself. I saw the towel lying on the floor, just inches away from Harry. I casually got up and walked over to it.

“Sorry. My rooms really messy,” I said picking up the towel. I could feel the dampness as I set it in the washroom.

“You should see my flat back in London,” Harry replied. I walked back in to my bedroom, and lied down on my bed.

“Is that your phone?” Harry asked walking over to my iphone that was charging.

“Yeah,” I looked at Harry confused as he picked it up and started tapping away.

“There,” he said gently setting it back down.

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Now I’m only one phone call or text away,” he smiled sitting down next to me. “Do you like horses?” Harry asked pointing to the painting above my bed.

“Kind of, Amy picked it out,” I shrugged.

“Sorry that she snapped at you this morning,” Harry said sitting down next to me.

“Don’t be sorry,” I yawned.

“Do you want me to go to leave? So you can get some rest?” Harry asked.

“Actually, would you mind lying here with me?” I asked. It might sound sluty, but I needed him here. Or who knows where I would be.

“Of course,” Harry lied down very close to me and placed his arm over my body, his hand hung off the opposite side.  

“You’re really nice,” I said closing my eyes. Harry mumbled something and lightly kissed my forehead. I felt my head fall against him before I dozed off.