Secrets and School

Chapter 12

Trigger Warning: Self Harm

I was right. "What happened Jake? You haven't been at this school for very long and this has already happened, do you need to move schools again? We can do that is it helps. Or maybe we could get you home schooled, how about that?" Mum continued to ramble.

"Mum its fine. Read the statement that you were given. I am going to my room and change out of my binder into a baggy jumper. Then I will lay in my bed and watch Disney movies. Okay?" I said, getting slightly frustrated.

"Okay Jake. I worry about you, that's all." She said giving me a hug, careful not to hurt me in the process. Once she has let go, I slowly make my way upstairs. Once in my room I attempt to take my binder off. It won't come off. I try again but it's causing me far too much pain. I sigh. There's no way I am going to get this thing off.

"Felix." I shouted. It wasn't long until I heard his heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. He knocked on my door asking if it was okay if he could come in. I replied, "Yes, I need a favour." He slowly opened the door and entering, before closing the door behind him.

"What's the problem? Is it to do with your binder?" He asks, confused.

"Yeah, it hurts too much when I try and get it off can you help me?" I ask.

"Yeah, of course." He walked over to me. I had already found the jumper I was going to put on and laid it on my bed in front of where I was standing.

"Hold these bits." I showed him where to hold the bottom of my binder and he held exactly where I had pointed. "And then I will put my arms up and you will pull the binder up until it's off...one more thing close your eyes please." I said. Even though I was facing away from him and towards my bed, and all he would be able to see is my back. But I still didn't feel comfortable with him looking.

"My eyes are closed. So arms in the air Jake." I raised my arms. "Are they up?" Felix asked, obviously not being able to see anything.

"Yep." I replied. "On the count of three. One...two...three."

Felix pulled my binder up over my head. I bit my lip to stop from making noises, from the pain. I grabbed the jumper I had laid out in front of me and slipped it on in record time. I turned around and Felix still had his eyes closed, with my binder in his hands. "You can open your eyes now." I said, as I took my binder from him. He opened his eyes and gave me a gentle hug.

"Anything else you need me to do?" Felix asked. I shook my head as I put my binder on my pillow. "Call me if you need anything." He stated before leaving the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

I went over to my mirror and lifted my jumper up to look at the damage on my chest. It was completely purple and blue. I flinched at my reflection. I lower my jumper again and went over to my drawer. I reached to the back of it and grabbed the blade I hide there. I slipped it into my pocket and went into the bathroom.

I sat on the cold tiled floor and began to degrade myself. I felt my hand move into my pocket to grab the blade. I felt the cold metal on my wrist, and slowly moved it from side to side. Blood started to make its appearance. I had five small, neat cuts going down my left arm. I sighed in relief at the pain. I was about to add a sixth cut when I felt my phone vibrate in my trouser pocket. I placed the blade in my left hand and grabbed the phone with my right. It's a text message from Zoe. I smile.

I look down at my left arm and quickly clean it up at the sink. I run my blade under the water too. I dry my arm and blade. The bleeding has stopped, so I pull my sleeve down, put my blade in my pocket and head back to my room. I place the blade back in it's place at the back of the drawer and curl up, under my blankets in bed and message Zoe back. With a huge goofy grin on my face.