HELLO!!
I am finally here !! :D
Hehe!!
********************
~~~MADIHA'S POV~~~
Kasim,
It has been a few days since we moved back in to our house again and Amma suggested I stay in Aziza's room. I had thought it would bring us happiness, feeling closer to you and Aziza, but, staying in this house has done nothing but refreshing some old wounds so far.
Right now, I am sitting beside the exact same retaining wall where I had last seen her— living and breathing. I could have pulled her back instead of just watching.
*
A drop of tear fell from my eye, smearing the black ink, as the memory of blood flashed in my mind. I shivered slightly, touching the chipped edge of the paint that was caused by her heel that night.
*
I have only been staying here for a couple of days; I wonder what Faisal Bhai has to go through everyday, living in the same colony. Walking past this house every day.
You know what's worse? Baba's house is right next to it but I can still not go there. It's locked. Why did he have to shut me out like this? Even amma doesn't talk to me nicely anymore. She says I am wrong But, What's my fault? That I want to be here for them?
Honestly, I tried to let go but it's not that easy. If it was, then I would have been in Karachi with my family. I miss them sometimes. Iqra api would have helped me out of this mess if she was here. I thought about giving her a call but I know baba won't give me her number.
I have lost so much only because I wanted to stay here with amma and abba. Now I can't leave them. Something inside me keeps stopping me.
But, then there is Hussain on the other side, still waiting for my answer. Sometimes it feels like all I need to do is reach out and hold his hand but then something pulls me back.
And then it's you, who doesn't even want to talk to me anymore. You hate me like she does, don't you? Or maybe you are just sick of me and my constant complaints. I don't blame you, no one sticks around me for long anyway.
I just......
**
"Bhoo!" I startled, losing my balance as two hands pushed me. My diary fell out of my hands and landed on the grass, two floors down. I gasped, looking back at Zariya, and found her mouth slightly opened. I narrowed my eyes at her and Faisal Bhai, who stood beside her, before running towards the door and down the staircase.
I didn't want anyone to get to it!
"Madiha, sambhal kar!" I heard Hussain's mother yelling from downstairs just when I missed a step. I instantly reached out, trying to grasp on to something- anything- for support but nothing came to my rescue and I tumbled down the marble stairs.
My head banged against a rough edge and I could feel the blood oozing out. Amma's face came in my view as she kneeled beside me. I tried not to let my eyes fall but Soon Everyone's voices blurred along with my vision.
***
White light blinded me as I walked through the field of colourful flowers. Squinting my eyes, I spotted a girl picking flowers near by. She was holding a basket that was almost full. I smiled at her as I carefully made my way towards her.
"Aziza!" A scream unknowingly left my mouth and she looked up at me.
Aziza?
A yellow and orange butterfly flew past me and I flinched before smiling at the beautiful creature. I reached out to hold it when Aziza yelled at me, "no don't! Usse kaid mat karna. Woh khuli hawa main zyada pyaari lagti hai."
I nodded at Aziza and smiled, seeing her attire. She wore a white gown with a light purple hijab. Both the colours complimented her skin tone. Well, she was always the pretty one.
"Tu yahaan kaise?" I asked, coming back to my senses. She can't be here.
"Milna chahti Thi na mujhse? Le main aa gayi," She giggled, snapping me out of my thoughts. She is talking to me... She is here... Where am I?
"Yeh mera ghar hai," she smiled eventually, answering my question, "isn't it magical?"
"It is," I smiled, not taking my eyes off her. I have never seen her in a hijab before. Her smile was brighter than ever and she looked beautiful. My eyes teared up as I stepped forward and hugged her tightly, "I missed you so much!"
"You missed me? Kyun? I should be saying this..... Tere paas toh sab hain, main toh yahan akeli hoon," She frowned at me as she pushed me away slightly, "Bohot naraz hoon tujhse! You are so selfish..... I am all alone because of you! Abhi tak Bhai Se bhi Nahi mili."
She held my hand and ran through the pool of flowers. I tried to keep up with her pace and soon we stopped by the cliff. There was another field down there with pretty flowers; A white river separated the two lands. There were bigger and prettier butterflies there; she and I were always fond of flowers and butterflies.
"Woh dekh.... That's where I want to go! But I can't because that's my happiness ... And you know na, my happiness lies in yours? So how can I be happy when you are not?"
I looked at her and frowned, "but I am happy."
"Smiling isn't counted as being happy," the irony; she smiled at me.
"Pata hai, Mujhe Bhai Se milna hai, and he is there.... But I can't go until I am fully satisfied that you are happy."
"How would you know if I am happy or not?" I asked her and she smiled again.
"Woh dekh," she pointed at something down there. I squinted my eyes and spotted the river at the tip of her finger. "Those are pearls. Not the ones you get out of shells but these..."
She came forward and touched my cheek. I frowned at her, confused, as she pulled away and raised her finger so I could see.
"These...." Tears! "I can't swim through these and they increase every time you cry."
I stared at her finger tip as I gulped down the sore lump in my throat.
"Kaid kar rakha hai tune Mujhe yahan, you have trapped me! I feel so claustrophobic here...." She held my arms and shook me to a point where my arms felt like they would fall off. I widened my eyes as she dropped to her knees in front of me, crying. Her hijab's colour darkened while her dress started looking muddy. Her clothes were a mess now and so was she. I stepped away, scared, as the grass began to turn yellow. Within seconds, all the flowers dropped their petals and the trees lost their leaves.
