Dan and Phil Imagines and Preferences

Preference! Eating Disorder (*Trigger Warning*)

Dan: You loved being a college student solely for the reason  that it made it really easy to hide the fact that you weren't eating anything. There was something about being in control of your eating that made you happy. Even if 'being in control' meant not eating at all. Honestly, it escaped your mind that not eating was considered a disorder.

There was a soft knock as the door was pushed open to the bedroom where you were typing up a paper for class. Dan pokes his head in before walking in, carrying a sandwich on a plate. He sat down next to you on the bed, leaning over your shoulder to watch what you were typing. "I brought you dinner," he says, moving your hands so he could fix an error.

"I'm not hungry, but thanks, Dan."

"Love, you haven't eaten anything all day."

"No, I had a sandwich at lunch," you lie convincingly.

"Even if you did have a sandwich, you need to eat a little more than just a sandwich today, don't you think?"

"I'm okay, Dan, I promise."

"Eat the sandwich, though."

"No. I don't want it.  You can have the sandwich."

"I already ate dinner. You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"You've used that same line for the past week when I ask if you want dinner. You can't tell me that you have time to eat between classes because I've seen your schedule and I know it's not possible to go get a sandwich and have it done by the time your next class starts, Y/N. What is really going on?"

"Nothing is going on, Dan!"

"How much weight have you lost lately?"

What the hell? Why was he changing the conversation to your weight? Of all the things he could choose to talk about, he chooses the one thing you're most self-conscious about. "I don't know. Not much."

"Not much? Okay, that's a total lie." He brings out his phone and scrolls through his camera roll and shows you a picture. "This was you three months ago."

You look at the picture in disgust. You could see the soft pudge of your stomach against the shirt, the way the sleeves were a little tight around the upper arm, how fat your cheeks were. You hated it. The image made you want to vomit.

"This is you last week," Dan says, changing the picture to a sickly looking girl. That wasn't you. No. Her eyes were dead. Her clothes hung much too loose to her body. The skin was pale and she just looked fragile. That wasn't you.

At the same time, though, you knew it was. The shape of the nose was right. The necklace Dan had gotten you for your birthday hung around the sick-looking girl's neck. The smile was so different from the one in the first picture. The smile was weak in this new picture, not full of life like the last one.

He stares at you with his brown eyes, normally filled with so much light, now filled with sadness. "Y/N, are you anorexic?"

Anorexic. A word you hadn't associated with yourself since you were in high school, back when you were skipping meals left and right.... much like you were doing now... You looked up at him, just staring at him in silence. Anorexic. You thought you had defeaten Ana a long time ago. But, apparently, you just won the battle, not the war.

"Not again," you whispered to yourself, rubbing your face with your hands, spreading the salty water that you didn't know was there around your face.

"I don't know why you feel like you have to do this to yourself. I love you. Everything single thing about you. You shouldn't starve yourself to make yourself thin. If you wanted to be thinner you should've done something healthier and not so drastic. But, I loved you just the way you were and I love you now. But, please, Y/N, eat. I will help you get through this. So will Phil. You're going to get through this and you're going to be healthy again, I promise. I love you. I'll be with you the whole way as you get better, even if I have to follow you around at school to make sure you eat a little something," he said, resting his forehead against yours and giving you a soft smile at the end.