Like Hurricanes

17. November ice cream

The rays of sunshine blinded my eyes, but the warm autumn breeze was gently caressing my skin, so I didn't mind.

"It's November, it's supposed to be colder," I mumbled as I stepped on the crispy leaves.

Noemi didn't say anything and just smiled, adjusting her mustard scarf. We were walking toward her favourite ice-cream shop, which was a pretty long walk from her house. The building she lived in was a pastel pink palace and her apartment was on the 4th floor. For some reason I felt like I needed to remember that.

Noemi stopped, discretely pointing her finger at a group of people.

"Aren't those your friends?" she asked.

On the other side of the street, a little group of teenagers was sitting at a table outside of a bar. I squeezed my eyes, trying to recognise their faces. It was them. There were Gloria and Clarissa madly giggling, with Stiff admiring their boobs and Dario eating everyone's sandwiches.

"Pit? Pit! Hey Pit!"

Dario waved at me, swinging his arms. I only saw his shadow, because my eyes were fixed on her. As she heard my name, she disconnected her lips from Diego's and turned around. There were a million things written on her face as she looked at me, but none of them gave me a reasonable explanation to what was going on. And my face, I hoped the only thing it screamed was a big, giant fuck you. Because she kissed me yesterday, yet here she was again. Again with him, again between his arms. And maybe it wasn't even jealousy that I felt at that moment, but simply rage.

"Pit?" Noemi called.

My friends were staring at me interrogatively, wondering why I was standing still like an idiot. But Noemi, she looked at me wondering if I was okay. I took her hand and together we crossed the street.

"Uuuh," Gloria mused. "Our angel boy now has an angel girl. How cute."

Dario ignored her and gave me a hug. "Hey, man. Are you okay? What the hell happened last night?"

"Uhm yeah, it's kind of complicated. I'll tell you later."

He didn't seem satisfied with my answer. "You just disappeared..."

"Yeah, I'm sorry I just... Where have you guys been? I kinda started freaking out when you didn't reply to my calls."

"Oh yeah, freaking out." Dario scratched his cheek. "That's one of the side effects of the pill."

I frowned. I didn't want Noemi to know any details about this party. And I surely didn't want her to know that I made use of illegal substances. It's not that I was ashamed of it or anything (most teenagers did drugs just so they could brag about it), I just... it was Noemi. And it was different with her.

"Who's the pretty lady you're with?" Diego asked. He surveyed Noemi with his gaze and air-kissed her. When he noticed the way my eyes twitched, he smirked. ''Don't worry, angel boy, I'm not gonna steal another one of your crushes. I must admit though, you're starting to downgrade.''

Diego's voice oscillated in my ears. I looked at him and I swear I was ready to ruin his pretty face. But my hand was in her hand and her grasp became stronger. If I could have spit in his face, I would have poured an ocean of saliva on him. He could have said whatever he wanted about me, but when it came to Noemi... he didn't even deserve to breathe the same air as her. He didn't deserve to live on the same planet.

''Just stop,'' Gaia snapped before I could say a word. I wished she didn't do that. Her voice was like a siren anticipating tragedy.

He looked at her and kissed her cheek. ''I'm sorry, love, I just don't like it when losers like Pietro Rossi try kissing my girlfriend.''

Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. I kissed his girlfriend. I kissed his love.

"Yeah, you thought she wouldn't tell me, huh?'' he said. ''Well, she did. You know why, angel boy? Because she doesn't give a shit about you."

''Oh God,'' Gaia rolled her eyes and stepped toward him. ''It was just a kiss, it didn't mean anything. Why do you have to act like a whiny jealous bitch?''

''What? I'm not. I'm just messing around.''

They argued and argued and I just stood there impassive. I looked at her. I looked at her with all of my love and pain and I wanted her to see it all. All the heartbreak and all the cheesiness and sweetness. I wanted her to see it disappear right in front of her, in the coldness of my eyes. All the things I was ready to do for her, all the things I was ready to give up. Because from that moment on, she would never see it again. Because I would never, ever, let her fingers touch my heart.

''I honestly don't care,'' I said. ''It was just a drunk make out. What I want to know, though, is where the hell you guys have been. ''

Stiff whistled to himself. "Well, let's see... After the party we all went to my place. I don't remember any of it, but it was fucking epic. Too bad you missed it, man. It was like the best part of the night."

"And where was I?"

He shrugged and pressed his lips together, kindly showing me how much he didn't care.

"We thought you were with Virginia,'' Gaia said. ''You left together, so I just figured...''

"And you didn't care to check?"

I looked at her and Dario. They were my best friends, for Christ's sake. Gaia, Dario and Virginia. The others were unimportant, they were just shadows who would soon blur out of my life. But them. They were a big part of my life, a big part of me. It broke my heart seeing how little they cared about me. I admired them and I loved them and I couldn't even imagine how pointless and unbearable my life would have been without them.

"Well, guess what?'' I said. ''I wasn't with Virginia. I was all by myself. I spent the rest of the night wandering who knows where, probably looking for you. And while you were having an epic time at Stiff's place, I was lying on a fucking bench, drunk and stoned, looking like a -- ''

I coughed. My heart was beating so wildly I was forced to gasp for air.

"Hey, calm down, man," Dario said. Everyone else blankly stared at me.

I inhaled and exhaled, trying to make my breathing more regular. I looked at him. He looked at me. He seemed genuinely sorry, and yet it enraged me. Because he was here with them and I was here with her and it felt like those moments in gym class when the PE teacher divided us in two different teams because if we were together our team would always win.

"You could have called me," I whispered, with nothing but pain and disappointment in my voice. I was too tired for anger. "You could have just called me, just once. Just ask me where I was, if I was doing okay. That wasn't much, was it?"

Dario looked down. He was holding his phone and as he touched the screen, he saw four unanswered calls and two messages from me. He bit his lip, and I shook my head in disbelief. Of course, I should have expected this. While I was almost having a panic attack wondering what happened to my best friend, this whole time he wasn't replying because his phone was on silent mode.

Silent mode.