Flower Boy

✿ Five ✿

alcohol and physical abuse warning
trigger warning: self harm mention and mention of intercourse

When I saw Mat next, he was quiet and angry. It was like a simmering anger.

"Mat!" I cried when he got home. I ran from the living room to the back door when I heard the lock click.

"Hi," His voice was emotionless, stone cold. His eyes showed nothing. His hair was wild, curls sticking out from all directions. My mind searched for a possibility of why he was like this.

I came up with none.

"How was your night away?"

"Fine. Get me some beer," He said, walking to the couch and flicking on the TV. I nodded, even though he wasn't looking, and ran to the kitchen to grab a can out of the fridge. He chugged it down as soon as I brought it back.

"Something stronger," He ordered. I nodded once more, grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet.

"Mixed or straight?" I called to him.

"Don't yell from the kitchen. Come here and ask me," He replied, I could tell his anger was building from his voice.

"Yes, sorry Mat," I walked to the living room and repeated the question.

"Straight."

"Okay," I replied, feeling uneasy. I scurried back to the kitchen, preparing the drink before returning and giving it to him.

"Get out," He raised his voice once he took the drink. I ran out of the living room and to our bedroom where I collapsed on the bed, face first into a pillow. I don't know how long I stayed there, but only got up when Mat called me to get him another drink. Then I went back to the bedroom. And he'd call again. Then the cycle would repeat. He was on his fifth glass of liquor when the cycle was interrupted.

"Rob, fuck. Fuck!" He yelled when I stubbed my toe on the couch corner. That caused the liquor to spill over the side of the glass slightly. "Are you trying to waste my alcohol? Huh?" He stood up, swaying a little.

I shook my head, feeling my hands begin to tremble.

"What? Speak up!" He yelled. I bowed my head slightly so he wouldn't see the tears building in my eyes.

"N-No," I stuttered out.

"Look at me when you talk to me."

"No," I repeated, blinking my tears away and timidly looking him in the eyes.

"You're useless, you know that? You can't even bring me a drink without screwing something up," He stepped closer. "Look at you. Pathetic. You're crying."

I hastily wiped the tears streaming down my cheeks, but I couldn't do it fast enough because more kept falling.

"S-Sorry, Mat," I whispered, having trouble holding the glass because of how badly I was shaking. He ran his hands through his curly hair, making it messier than it was previously.

"God, you're good for absolutely nothing, Rob," His slur of insults continued. He seemed furious.

Mat took a step closer. He was so close I could smell the alcohol in his breath.

He grabbed the glass from my hand and threw it against the wall. It shattered on impact with a deafening crack. I flinched and my cries turned to sobs. I was terrified.

"It's always you, Rob. You're always the one to screw things up," He raised his hand and slapped my cheek. Pain blossomed and I collapsed onto my knees, holding my face with both hands. I couldn't breath properly, I was crying, and I was in pain.

"M-Mat," I sobbed, but he ignored me.

"Don't sleep in my bed tonight," He spat, walking out of the house. The front door slammed shut. I sat there and cried until sleep overtook me.

The worst part was: everything he said was true.

The next day, I called into work sick. I moved to the couch and stared blankly at the TV screen. It was turned off. Mat didn't come home.

At 3:00PM, I decided I needed to clean up the broken glass from the night before. I couldn't keep last night off my mind. I didn't want to move. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cease to exist. I knew I deserved everything that happened last night. I was so worthless.

I hauled myself off the couch and started picking up the pieces of glass.

I felt a prick in my finger and saw that I had cut myself on the glass. Beads of blood pooled. I cut myself twice more after that. It was mesmerizing.

I went back to the couch after the mess was cleaned and waited for Mat to come home. I needed to apologize.

He showed up after dinnertime, enveloping me in a hug.

"Rob, I'm not going to hit you again. Okay? I'm sorry baby, you know I love you. I love you, but sometimes you do things wrong and that angers me, but I won't hit you for it ever again, alright?"

I felt tears well up. Mat was too good for me.

"It's okay Mat, I deserved it. Sorry for messing up all the time," I whispered into his chest.

"What do you want to do, baby?"

"Cuddle?" I suggested shyly. He took my hand and led me to the bedroom.

He had other plans than cuddling, but I didn't mind that much. It was a long time since the last time we made love.

He was not very gentle this time around, but it was okay.

He liked it and that's all that matters.

Yet, I couldn't help but think of Preston the whole time, despite the guilt eating at my heart.

✿
sorry for the late update
NOTE: I LOVE MAT IRL OKAY
HE IS JUST LIKE THIS IN THE STORY
(n00ch)

also i'm in a writing slump forgive me

next chapter should be fluffier

ps : pls pls pls go check out my oneshot cutie pie ;) (shameless self promo)
ilyall