Autophobia//Kylo Ren

VII.

VII.

***

I awoke with a start, thrown from unconsciousness once again because of a nightmare. It was the same as always, Snoke commanding me to join the darkside and threatening if I didn't. As I sat alone in the dark trying to catch my breath I could hear the sounds of someone else sleeping restlessly. My old instincts kicked in and I knew that Kylo was being kept up by nightmares as he had been years ago. He had assured me that night that the nightmares would go away if I joined him, but that clearly was not the case.

My first instinct was to go to him, to comfort him, but he was no longer the boy I knew. I sat listening to him screaming loudly enough to pierce the thick walls, feeling torn about what I should do. Deciding that I should at least go check on him, I pulled on a cloak and reached for the door. It was locked. He deserves to be alone then, I thought in annoyance. He had to stop locking me in here.

The hoarse screams stopped and I was once again left in silence. Without thinking I reached out with the Force to see if he was awake.

"Kylo?" I called tentatively.

"Get out of my head." He warned, he was definitely awake.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Of course." He scoffed, I could tell that he was lying.

"Sure, that's why you were having violent nightmares just minutes ago. You're completely fine, of course." I was tired of his 'I'm fine, I have no emotion but anger" act.

"So were you." He countered.

"I never claimed to be fine." I said.

"But I am, so drop it." He growled, trying to intimidate me as usual. It was the middle of the night and I was tired and pissed off, I wasn't going to be intimidated by him.

"Do you need me to come to your room?" I asked, not quite sure what I wanted the answer to be.

"No. Go to sleep." He said after a moment of silence. Had I been able to see his face I would've seen a slight smile appear and his eyes widen at the thought that after all these years I still cared enough to comfort him.

"Ok, I couldn't anyways because you locked me in again." I said resentfully, trying to hide the hint of sadness that had come from his rejection.

He didn't respond again for some time and I almost thought he had fallen asleep when he said "Goodnight." so quietly I might have imagined it.

"Goodnight."

***

The next morning I got dressed as usual and went to check the door without thinking. I assumed it would be locked but to my surprise the door opened easily, showing the empty hallway in front of me. So he had listened to me after all. I pulled my cloak around me more tightly as the cold air from the hallway hit me and blew my dark hair everywhere.

I leaned against the doorway and braided my hair quickly as I decided what to do with my newly found freedom. Following no particular direction I walked aimlessly through the corridors in an attempt to make sense of the layout. I was still secretly plotting an escape, but the idea seemed improbable and I now had nowhere left to go.

Turning left I found myself in a brightly lit hallway full of Storm Troopers and other members of the First Order. Nobody payed any attention to me as I walked anxiously down the hall, sure that somebody would try to apprehend me again. It seemed as though I had really been given my freedom. I peeked into a door on my right to see a windowed control room full of computer operators and officers. General Hux himself was discussing something with another First Order officer.