*major trigger warning. and btw this is heavy metal, song by bring me horizon*
Ashton:
"We all have our horrors and our demons to fight, but how can I win when I am paralyzed?"
Your hand was shaking and your breath was no longer in its steady paze as it was before. You were gasping for air, it was nearly impossible for you to keep yourself from blacking out. Tonight was terrible, your thoughts were just so loud.
It was 3 am and you felt more than tired, but you couldn't sleep. You were paralyzed, you couldn't calm yourself. You slowly got out of bed to realise that Ashton wasn't in bed. You didn't know where he was, but you wanted him to be here. You couldn't live with yourself tonight, you needed him so much.
You headed for the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of pills out of the cupboard above the sink. The cold floor underneath your feet didn't bother you, nothing really gained your attention except for the happy pills. You felt numb, but you believed that these would at least make you feel something at all. You'd rather feel pain instead of this terrible numbness, because it was horrible. You couldn't describe what you felt and you couldn't live with this feeling anymore.
To be exact, you were used to this numbness, but your demons were so loud tonight.
"Y/N?"
You twirled around, almost dropping the bottle you held in your hands. Ashton was standing in the doorframe to the kitchen.
"What are you doing?" his soft but groggy voice spoke carefully. You looked down at your hands; the right one having an amount of about thirty pills in it whilst the left one still held onto the bottle.
You didn't dare to speak up since it was obvious anyway. Ashton was suddenly wide awake and came over to you. He stood beside you and glanced at your hands and then your face which was heating up in embarrassment.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he whispered as he guided your right hand back to the neck of the bottle, so he could drop the pills back in. He took the bottle away and placed it on top of the fridge, a place you couldn't reach, before coming back over to you. You fell in his arms and slowly started crying on his shoulder.
"Why?" Ashton asked. You buried your face deeper in his chest and held onto his waist.
"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it" you mumbled through several tears that escaped your eyes.
"Come talk to me the next time, please. I'm always here for you, okay? Now let's go cuddle" he lifted you up bridal style snd carried you back to bed where he tucked you in and then placed himself on top of you so you couldn't escape anymore.
Michael:
"Don't go. I can't do this on my own. Save me from the ones that haunt me in the night, I can't live with myself so stay with me tonight."
"Michael" you pleaded. "Michael, please stay." There was a lump in your throat that kept you from yelling. Tears were streaming down your face as you followed your boyfriend out of the living room.
"Michael" you whimpered as you watched him grabbing the car keys and his phone. You two had a huge argument today which was caused by your insecurity. It was actually really dumb and really pointless, but you couldn't help it. He found out about your social anxiety, your nightmares and how much you suffered from self hate.
You've texted Ashton before since the you've been best friends with him and you were afraid of Michael leaving you if he found out. Well, your fear came true.
"Say something" you pleaded again. You couldn't watch your boyfriend walking away from you. You couldn't stand the terrible numbness, you just couldn't do it anymore. You never meant to hurt Michael, you were just scared. Scared of his reaction.
