Assorted Phan Oneshots

2022

The alarm clock beeped at 9 AM. That was far too early. As Dan rolled over, he saw that Phil was already awake, sitting up in bed next to him tweeting on his phone. After a moment of blinking blearily up at Phil, reality dawned on him. "Is today the day?" He asked, a smile lighting up his face.

Phil seemed a little bit startled, as he was expecting Dan to fight against the alarm and try to sleep as usual. "Today's the day." He confirmed, setting his phone aside and leaning down to kiss Dan gently.

*

"Dan, can you help me with my tie?" Phil asked nervously, fumbling with the wretched piece of cloth that he was somehow supposed to get around his neck without strangling himself.

Dan didn't even have his shirt on yet, but he gladly sauntered over across the room to Phil and took the tie. "Come here, you spork" he laughed, knotting the tie onto Phil's neck with expertise.

"Thank you" Phil giggled. "This seems kind of......surreal? I don't know. We hid our relationship for so long and now we're finally getting married........"

"I know what you mean. And we just HAD to wait until 2022, because we're that fucking ironic." Dan said with a joking roll of his eyes.

"Hey, it was your idea! I just agreed with it."

"I know. I'm kidding Phil. I just love you so much....." Dan trailed off, staring at Phil with the heart eyes he was famous for.

"I absolutely adore you." Phil replied, crossing behind Dan and wrapping his arms around the other's bare waist.

*
It was almost time. The wedding was being held at a church, just for tradition since neither of them were very religious. It was a nice place, and there was a beautiful grassy area outside that had been decorated with flowers for the reception.

They were standing outside the doors of the church, waiting to walk down the aisle together. But Phil was getting anxious.

"I'm so nervous.....what if I trip walking down the aisle? I probably will. I'm extremely clumsy and-"

Dan cut him off. "You'll be fine. It's just family and friends anyway, and we could just edit you falling out of the video before we upload it." He pointed out. Yes, they were filming their entire wedding and putting it on YouTube. Hopefully that would keep the stalkers away.

"Okay.....here we go. It's time." Phil said. He took a deep breath, linked his arm through Dan's, and they pushed their way through the doors.

*

The ceremony had been amazing, almost bringing some of the guests to tears. But now it was time for the most important thing.

CAKE TIME!

"Do we really have to feed each other cake?" Dan mumbled, looking dubiously down at the plate.

"Yes! Its tradition!" Phil insisted, scooping some cake up onto the fork. "Open wide~" he teased.

Dan rolled his eyes and opened his mouth. Some frosting somehow managed to get on his nose.

Phil giggled and wiped the frosting off of Dan's nose, licking it off his finger while making eye contact.

"Phil..........no. Now I get to do this." He said, giving a cheeky grin and picking up the fork.

*

By the time the one piece of cake was finished both boys had frosting all over their faces. Dan, who had been reluctant to do it in the first place, had somehow managed to turn it into a food fight, much to the amusement of all the guests.

As they were trying to wipe off with napkins, guests started coming up to them, handing them gifts, congratulating them, and telling them goodbye.

After the last person had left, Dan and Phil were just left sitting there. The decision had been made a while ago that they weren't going on a honeymoon.

"So..........time to go home?" Phil asked, peering innocently up at Dan.

"I guess so." He replied.

*

It wasn't until they were home, sitting on the couch cuddling, still in their suits, that the realization hit them.

"Phil..........?"

"Yes, Dan?"

"We're actually married"

Phil's eyes widened as he sat there and thought about it for a moment, then he giggled airily. "We're actually married." He repeated.

All at once they leaned in and their lips crashed together in a heated and passionate kiss.

After a moment of kissing, in unspoken agreement Dan wrapped his legs around Phil's waist and Phil stood up. They made their way into the bedroom, but even in that short distance Dan couldn't keep his warm lips off of Phil's exposed neck.

And their night ended how most wedding nights end, to be completely honest.