Third Person Limited P.O.V. (Kagura)
Kagura was happily frolicking in the fields of sukombu. From time to time, she would stop to pick up another piece to eat it. As she was skipping along, she saw a floating pair of glasses gliding gracefully towards her. She stopped to greet it.
"Hello, Shinpachi! Isn't it just a beautiful day?" she asked the pair of the glasses.
"It sure is!" it replied.
[Shinpachi: OOOOIIIIII!!!! WHY AM I JUST A FLOATING PAIR OF GLASSES? WHERE'S THE REST OF MY BODY?
Author: What are talking about, Megane? That is your whole body.
Shinpachi: NO IT ISN'T!! WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M ONLY MY GLASSES?
Author: Isn't it a fact? I learned it in Gintama anatomy. See? *pulls out a diagram of Shinpachi's glasses labeled with its different parts and titled 'Shimura Shinpachi'*
Shinpachi: THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GINTAMA ANATOMY!!
Author: What are you talking about? Yes there is! There's a course on it at Gintama High School. Zenzou-sensei teaches that course and always warns the students about hemorrhoids.
Shinpachi: *sigh* Whatever, I'll stop arguing with you so just go back to the story.
Author: Hmph! *proceeds to writing the story*]The pair of glasses then continued to go on its way as Kagura kept going her way.
'This must be what heaven is like,' she thought.
She was just stopping to pick up another piece of sukombu when she heard a low rumble.
'What is that? Thunder?' she wondered.
She looked up at the sky, but there wasn't a single cloud in sight.
'What could it be?'
As the rumble became louder, she finally realized what it was.
Sadaharu was still growling when Kagura snapped out of her dream and fluttered her eyes open.
What is he growling at? Kagura wondered as she looked at her huge, fluffy dog growl at something behind her.
She rolled over to see what was behind her and was greeted by two huge eyes staring right at her only about a foot away.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" she shouted as she immediately tried getting up into a fighting position, only to get herself tangled up in her blankets.
"Didn't I tell you not to disturb my sl- OUCH!" a familiar voice close by yelled as Kagura accidently hit the other person's head.
They continued to struggle with the blankets for a good minute before finally getting it off of themselves. Kagura, who was sweating because of her intense battle with the blankets, looked at the "stranger" who sat in front of her. The two huge "eyes" that were staring back at her were simply part of Sougo's sleeping mask, which he took off once he freed himself of the blankets.
"What the hell, China? What did I tell you about not disturbing my-" Sougo began saying when he looked down to see himself on top of a blanket.
Oh... my... god.... Kagura thought, looking at the boy sitting in front of her.
Kagura and Sougo both looked down at the wood floor to see that the blankets lay right on top of the line that split the room. Sougo still just barely sat on his side of the room while Kagura just barely sat on her side, so technically neither of them crossed the line. But they were now awfully close. Kagura then looked back up at Sougo who looked back at her with an expression of horror. She slowly lowered her head, causing her bangs cast a shadow over her eyes. A dark aura began to surround her.
"YOU PERVERT!! YOU BROUGHT ME OVER HERE DIDN'T YOU?!" Kagura screamed, throwing punches at Sougo, who expertly dodged them.
"Oi, do you really think I'm such a sore loser that I would try to get up next to a flat-chested little girl while she's unaware? I can get much better girls to sleep next to me with much bigger boobs," Sougo said in a monotone.
A vain on Kagura's temple popped out as she tightly clenched her fists.
"I'M NOT FLAT-CHESTED!! And Sadaharu was growling at you, so it must have been you, right Sadaharu?" Kagura asked, looking back up at her furry pet.
"Arf!" Sadaharu replied, nodding his head and wagging his tail.
"See?" Kagura said, looking back at Sougo.
"I'm not going to trust a dog to be my judge," Sougo said, looking up at the white dog with dead fish eyes.
[Shinpachi: Wait a second... where did Sadaharu come from? He hasn't been mentioned since before the bomb.]
"Megane, what do you think you're doing interrupting our scene?" Sougo asked with a deadpan voice.
[Author: Yeah, Shinpachi. Stop interrupting my writing.
Shinpachi: Oi, but Sadaharu was obviously not in the room before, and now he's in this chapter as if it's the most natural thing in the world.]"What are you talking about? Sadaharu was here the whole time," Kagura said, petting her beloved dog.
[Shinpachi: NO HE WASN'T!!]
"Well, you obviously didn't read the last chapter very closely because Sadaharu was definitely here," Kagura stated.
[Shinpachi: No... I'm pretty sure I read the chapter pretty thoroughly.]
"*sigh* I guess I have to refresh your memory," Kagura said as the scene rippled into a flashback.
Flashback to Yesterday
"You and that dog take the other side, and if either of you cross this line, you're both dead. Got it?" Sougo told Kagura.
"Fine! Gosh, you're so cranky," Kagura told him, walking to the left side of the room with Sadaharu by her side.
Sougo walked as far to the right as possible and lied down on the hardwood floor, facing the wall.
"If you or that monstrous pet disturb my sleep, I'll make sure that you wish you never would have met me," Sougo told her, pulling his red sleeping mask over his eyes.
"I already wish I never would have met you, but don't worry. Sadaharu and I don't want to look at you anyway," Kagura responded, walking as far to the left as possible and laying down the blankets.
She slipped into the blankets and snuggled up in their warmth as Sadaharu curled up into a comfy position in the corner of the room.
The Present
"See?" Kagura told Shinpachi.
[Shinpachi: OOOOIIIIII!!!!! Those lines from last chapter were definitely edited to fit in Sadaharu, weren't they?
Author: Get out, Shinpachi! You're not even supposed to be in this scene!
Shinpachi: But this is important! This story makes no sense!
Author: Pshh, whether Sadaharu was here or not doesn't matter! Gintama never makes sense anyways.
Shinpachi: Wait, so you really did edit those lines, didn't you?
Author: Whhhaaaaattt? No........ maybe.......... possibly......... most likely...... yeah...... *lowers head in defeat*
Shinpachi: I KNEW IT!!]"Well if you just going to admit it, I didn't have to act. You still owe me a year's worth of sukombu, though," Kagura told the author, leaning back on her dog nonchalantly.
"Yeah, and you need to erase Hijikata out of this fan fiction," Sougo added.
[Author: Woah, woah, hold up. I promised to take his mayonnaise away from him, not take him out himself.]
"Well, taking away his mayonnaise is basically taking away his life, so it's the same thing as just getting rid of him," Sougo pointed out.
[Author: Truuuee~
Shinpachi: Wait a second, did you bribe them to act like Sadaharu was always here? And you can't take away Hijikata's mayonnaise from him! Who knows what the devil vice-captain will do to us once he loses his mayo?!
Author: Well, my bribes wouldn't have gone to waste if you didn't barge in, but of course you're so nosy like always.
Shinpachi: But it made no sense! Do you understand how the readers would feel if Sadaharu just appeared out of nowhere? If it weren't for me, they would be reading this thinking that they might have missed a chapter because Sadaharu just magically appeared.
Author: Well aren't you being so helpful today? *in a sarcastic voice*
Shinpachi:*glares* But seriously, unless you want us all to possibly end up dead, I would suggest not taking Hijikata's mayo from him and keeping him happy.]