Dear No One | Ethan Dolan Fan Fiction

Chapter 22- Please Don't Leave

~ Ethan's POV ~

24 hours. That's how long Britt has been in the hospital. Laying on that bed, eyes closed, skin drained of all color. Tubes give her food and liquid and keep her heart beating steadily. If only she knew how broken my world is without her. If only she could know how much I would give to see her eyes looking into mine, even if it was only one last time. I sit by her bed, willing her to open her eyes. Begging her not to leave me. Whispering desperate pleas to her as she sleeps. Maybe she'll hear one. Maybe she'll realize her life is still worth living and wake up.

Time doesn't exist in my world; there's only me and her. It might have been 5 minutes since she was admitted. It could have been 5 hours. Even 5 days. I wouldn't know the difference. Seconds blur into hours and the hours into days, all on a clock that stops for no one. I wonder if this is how Britt felt when she put those pills to her lips. Lonely. Depressed. Alone. Forgotten. Unimportant. Worthless. Like nothing mattered anymore. Like no one cared. Like everyone is better off without her. Because that's how I feel without her. I've only known her for 2 months, and in those two months she became the most important person in my life. 2 months, and then she was torn away from her. My whole body craves her. Every time I see a girl with dark hair, I immediately hope it's Britt, even though I know it's not. My eyes try desperately to weave the strands of my heart back together. Sometimes I swear that I can hear her voice, whispering to me. I can almost feel her touch on my skin, but every time I try to grasp onto the feeling, it disappears, leaving me even more lonely than before.

But my worst fear is sleep. If I succumb to the temptation, it may be the last time I see Britt alive. And that scares me. Because I can't live without her.

I was so ignorant as a child. I was so excited to grow up and be someone great. I wanted to be a superhero and change the world. I wanted to fight evil and save the good people. I wanted to be a hero. Now look at me. I'm sitting in a chair next to a girl I only wanted to help, but I might have killed instead. I didn't know what responsibility came with growing up. I couldn't have imagined the pain of the world from my innocent, shielded youth. What I would give to be a kid again.

I wanted to do so much with Britt. I wanted to take road trips with her. We could have ridden down the east cost in a convertible, wind in our hair, music blasting. We could have laid on the grass and watched the stars together. I could have given her my hoodie when she would get cold and hold her close. We could have ran down to the riptide together and splashed each other with ice cold water under the warm sun. We could have played in the mud, the rain, the fresh fallen autumn leaves. We could have gone to the cinema and bought huge bags of popcorn and eaten until we were sick. We could have gone to parties and danced until we were exhausted and kissed until we couldn't breathe. I could have confessed my undying love to her and she could have just smiled at me and leaned in, bringing out worlds together. We could have badly sung One Direction and gone to emo rock concerts and screamed until we lost our voices. We could have had everything, but instead I destroyed it all.

and it hurts.

love hurts so much.

and if maybe i could just see her one last time

i promise if she lives i'll leave

she doesn't need me

i don't deserve her

i love her

so i'm letting her go

because i love her

i lover her so much

and i will never hurt her again

I fall to my knees, and squeeze my eyes shut and clasp my hands. I begin to beg desperately, praying with the hope that God might listen to me.

~ Nurse's POV ~

I get ready to push the door open, but stop short when I see the boy on his knees on the floor, begging that someone will help him. My heart breaks for him. The poor kid has been by her side for 2 days, not leaving once. I've managed to coax a little food into him, but he doesn't sleep, he hardly eats, he doesn't shower. He just sits there, watching her. Young love is such a beautiful thing, so unconditional and pure. They must have been close before she attempted suicide. I was going to tell him, but I can't now. I feel tears pooling in my eyes as I watch him. Ragged cries escape his lips, filing the room. Tears are now slipping down my cheeks at the news I bear. She has only a 25 % chance of waking up from her drug induced coma. The odds are against this desperate lover. I can see it in his eyes. The emptiness he feels without her. If she goes down, he goes with her. But I am just as helpless as him at controlling the hand of mother nature.

all we can do now is pray.

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Please forgive me for not updating for two weeks... I had a ton of homework and I was  in a really stressful situation. I had mild writer's block.. I still don't like how this chapter turned out but I'll probably rewrite some chapters anyway (mainly my older and short ones) but on a happier note THANKS FOR 3.75K READS YOU ALL ARE AMAZING! Can we get to 4K before I publish the next chapter? The next one will probably be the next to last :( Thank you all for supporting this book and voting! Ily!

-Erica