Chapter 3
(/Cal/)
I sat at the table in the mess hall, alone, a chipped cup of cold coffee sitting in front of me, the black liquid staring me in the face. It tasted like tree bark, per usual, and nothing was going to change that. Resting my head in my hands, I inhaled deeply and then pushed the drowsiness down, I needed to be awake for this meeting. It was going to be a hard one, and a long one judging by the itinerary Farley had shoved into my hand last night. There was a lot to cover, and I was bone tired.
I hadn't slept well last night, and neither had Mare. She'd tossed and turned for a few hours, before finally settling in and dozing off. I had laid awake though, looking at the ceiling, just listening to the soft sound of air entering and leaving her body. It was calming, soothing even, just to know that she was there, alive and well. Eventually I had been able to slip into a doze as well, until Mare had rolled over and pressed herself up against my side. She normally wasn't demanding when she slept, but last night, she had clutched my arm like I would vanish if she didn't hold on tight enough.
The chair opposite of me scraped against the ground and I glanced up from my musing to see Evangeline sink down into it slowly. Her hair was pulled into a loose braid and she seemed to have located a gray shawl that she had draped over her shoulders. Her eyes were as tired as my own, and behind her irises, I could see the nightmares that haunted me as well.
"What brings you in here so early? It can't be the coffee." I deadpanned, trying to end the prickling silence between us. Chuckling at my own joke, I brought my cup up and took a long drink and tried to swallow quickly to avoid the taste. When I glanced back at her, I saw that my teasing had fallen on deaf ears. She didn't look the least bit amused, or interested in playing games for that matter.
Shifting under her steel gaze, I set the cup back down and tried to hide my discomfort by leaning back in my chair. Seeing my movement, her eyes dropped immediately to her hand which was clutching the edges of her shawl to the point of almost ripping it. We sat in silence after that, the two of us struggling to come to terms with the situation we were in. Not that I blamed her, I had been in a similar state after the Guard had picked me up. I had been bitter and angry with the world, but the way I had seen it, I could have either took the cards fate dealt me and learned to play the game, or I could have folded and hoped the next hand was better. Evangeline was not the kind to fold, unless she had changed more than I thought. A year could make a hell of a difference in a person, and if I wasn't proof of that, then I wasn't sure what was.
Eventually she sighed, grabbed my cup, and then scrunching up her nose at the smell, she took a deep drink as well. She gagged as she swallowed and I watched her slam the chipped thing back on the table, almost shattering it. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and then whispered, "How do you put up with this place?"
I could hear the gravity in her tone, the fine line that she was walking. Evangeline was walking along the edge of a glass bowl, the edges cutting her feet and threatening to shatter at the slightest misstep. I had been in a similar position, and sometimes, I felt like I never actually left it. Shrugging at her question though, I pulled the cup back toward me and ran my thumb along the side of it. "You learn to shoulder reality and bear it."
"I don't want to bear any more reality than I already have, I want to go home." She hissed, her dark eyes latching onto mine as she leaned forward, like a cat about to pounce. I sat a little straighter, calling on my bearing as a general and prince in her mind to deliver my next words carefully. "And you think I don't?"
She stiffened in response, and bowing her head again, tried to hide her expression from me. I softened my voice immediately and sighing, I ran a tired hand down my face and whispered, "I want to go home as much as you, but it's not happening. You'll have to accept that like I have."
Raising her eyes to meet mine, she leaned away from me, and her demeanor changed completely. For once, Evangeline looked defeated. "These people hate me, they spit at me as I walk by, and they growl insults. It's easy for you to bear in your position, everyone here thinks you're a hero."
"They didn't always think that." I whispered as I looked down at my cup again and remembered the first volatile months with the guard. It had been a long, hard road to where I was now, and every day it seemed I was going back the way I had come. With Hector running around under my nose whispering doubts in people's ears, and people actually starting to believe him, it was becoming difficult to rally the guard to the council's ideas. Today would be just another battle against the splintering, another day walking around the camps trying to keep moral up when my own was starting to dip. I didn't want to think that had anything to do with my lack of sleep. I couldn't let people see how tired I was. If they saw that one of the people in charge was running out of ideas, they would riot, they would fall apart, and I couldn't let that happen when we had come so far. Maybe we had run before we could walk though, maybe we had taken more than we were ready for, and that was why we were splintering like this now.
Evangeline set her head in her hand and massaging the bridge of her nose, she murmured something incoherently before stating clearly, "I need to feel like I'm doing something while I'm here. I refuse to just sit around."
A smile tugged at the corner of my lips, there was the Samos girl that I remembered. She saw my half smile, and tilting her head to the side she growled, "And I don't want any games anymore. I want in on your damn crusade, if it means that I get out clean."
"Of course," I replied as I leaned back in my chair comfortably. I had been waiting for this for almost two weeks. My exhaustion evaporated as everything finally started falling into place. I had needed Evangeline to come to this conclusion on her own, to demand a position in the Guard. I could never make her ask for that, if I did, then she would buck and refuse, but this, this was what I needed from her. I watched her grab the mug again, and gripping it tightly in her hands she mumbled, "And I want to train, I don't want to get rusty."
I shrugged, as if I had assumed such, and although my exterior was neutral, internally, I was celebrating this turn of events. Finally we would have a clean source of information. Evangeline would have the latest in what was going on in court, and what Maven was up to, making the information she had top priority at the moment.
She glared down at the contents of the cup, as if she could sense my elation, and her reaction only made me smile. She would be reluctant to share what she knew, just like I had been, but eventually, she would see the truth just like I did. That the guard wasn't a bunch of terrorists bent on raising hell, and was actually just a group of people that refused to be subjected to their chains anymore.
Rising from my chair slowly, I gestured to the cup and said, "You can have the rest of that, you're going to need it more than I will today."
Her expression switched instantaneously and I had to smile again. The games were beginning again, and finally, I had a piece against Maven. I needed to combat him, I had to bring him in quietly if I wanted to get Farley everything she wanted with the least amount of damage possible. If Maven was taken down in the dark where no one could see, then there was a smaller chance of their being resistance, and by default, a smaller chance of more death. My goal was to institute a mixed council, to get Farley the voice she demanded, and deserved, but to keep the Silver's soothed. The last thing I wanted to do was ruffle their feathers too much. I would still need them to stay in line if I wanted to remain on the throne.
She set the cup down quickly and leaped up to follow me. As we left the mess hall, and entered the massive central way, Evangeline paced next to me and inquired softly, "They are going to crown you if they win right?"
