"I GOT NINETY NINE PROBLEMS BUT A B1TCH AIN'T ONE!" Niall sang loudly, skipping down the paved sidewalk of the streets of Los Angeles. He was making his way downtown to meet Grace for their scheduled frozen yogurt date at his favorite fro-yo place, Yellow Pear.
"By bitch are you referring to Grace? Are you guys over already?" yelled one of the men belonging to the large group of paparazzi that followed Niall around on the daily. They probably would have uncovered the secret of Julian and Niall by now had Harry not decided to dress in a blonde wig and pretend to be Niall playing golf at the country club. They weren't a very bright or observant group. Or maybe his wig and gigantic sunglasses were really that good of a disguise. Yeah, probably the first option.
"Can I have a statement about you and Grace's sex life for my blog?"
"How's Grace?"
"IS GIALL DEAD?!?"
"Did you read the post Grace had written about all this? Thoughts?" One man flung the printed out copy of the post in Niall's direction to which he caught and shoved under his arm pit. He would read it later.
These were just some of the many retorts being hurtled at Niall as he continued to listen to his current "bop" song, All Me. He wasn't regarding any of the paparazzi at this point, it almost seemed as if he had become accustomed to the bright and obnoxious flashing of cameras simultaneously going off. It was by request of Mr. Moseby to lead the cameras straight to the center of the whole stunt, their dates.
At the door of Yellow Pear, Niall finally pulled one of his earbuds out of his left ear and pulled the door slightly open and before ducking into the place he said, "Guys I'm going on a date with Grace right now so I would really appreciate if you didn't disturb us. Gotta please my lady which I am attracted to, Okay thank you." He shut the door on the men clamoring to get a good shot of the young couple through the glass window where they were conveniently seated at a table right by.
"You look um... lovely today." Niall said, tipping his beret at Grace to greet her who was sitting uncomfortably, obviously not as relaxed due to the cameras. Grace certainly did look um... something and it wasn't lovely. No offense of course but she was dressed very tackily, in a Crayola crayon body suit in the color "Mac and Cheese" for an unspecified reason.
"Yeah I forgot we had this 'date' thing, just came back from an audition and I think I naaailed it." She said, seeing his confusion for her attire. "I have a change of clothes in my bag if you think that would be better for the photos." To which Niall gratefully nodded in agreement. She quickly scurried to the bathroom and a few moments later came out with her hair and makeup all did up like she was a toddler in a beauty contest and was wearing a nice dress with tiny apple prints all over it. What? They were cute.
"Guessing a hair and makeup team was in there ready for you? Destinee's crazy but knows her stuff." Niall nodded at the intricate braid she was now sporting.
"Oh thats her name? I forgot to ask her that when her acrylic nails were attacking me with a spray bottle and hair straightener." Grace joked, more relaxed now that she knew she looked haute.
"So...." Niall trailed off.
"So...." Grace repeated, fidgeting still well aware of the cameras capturing her every move.
"Do you um want some frozen yogurt?"
"I'm on a all-bread-diet. Oprah says its good for you. Sorry." Grace replied, eyeing the paper Niall was clutching in his hand.
"Okay. Thats cool, Oprah is a great lady. On my way here, a man gave me this paper that had your post on it by the way. I haven't had the chance to read it but is there anything you wrote in it that would need my attention?" He asked.
"Naaah." She said, leaning over the small circular plastic table they were seated around and snatched the paper out of his hand slightly rudely and crumpled it into a ball and shoved it down the neckline of her dress. "Just some random stuff about what's going on in my life recently."
"Okay, should we you know kiss and sh!t right now?" Niall asked her.
"Yes. I mean I guess, if that's what we're supposed to do right? We have to do this right? I mean like we have no other choice but to kiss right now. Like right now. Okay let's do the thing. By thing I mean kissing, lets do the kiss. Yeah kissing whooo!" Grace said, clapping her sweaty palms together ready to finally do what she's been dreaming about and practicing on her cardboard cutout of Niall for the past five years. Directioner since the beginning.
Then they, you know kissed. (Warning I'm breaking the fourth wall but) I'm not going to write about it because it wasn't writing worthy. I mean, Grace's sweaty hands clamped so tightly around Niall's neck cutting off his air tubes and practically strangling or 50 shades of gray depending your views on that type of thing and Niall holding his throw up down from coming up his throat and into Grace's mouth. Lets just say, Grace wasn't his type at all. So basically, there was nothing romantic about the kiss, it was like the type of kiss actors have to do when filming a love scene, with over fifteen pairs of eyes watching them and the sound of nothing but their heaving breaths and slurps. Ew.
They finally pulled apart, with a spaghetti string of spittle between them thanks to Niall and everybody else in Yellow Pear clapping and cheering loudly as if Niall had just gotten down on one knee and proposed to Grace or something which Grace wouldn't have minded even if her kiss had turned out to be less then dreamy. Niall held his hand to high five Grace for pulling off such a realistic gesture when he realized that would make it less authentic. Thats like having sex then at the end while you're both laying in bed, one person turns to the other one (assuming its not a threesome or orgy) and says, "Good job." and offers a thumbs up. Kinda weird. Kinda weird like this whole fake date.
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Beguile
Fanfictionbe·guile /bəˈɡīl/ verb 1. charm or enchant (someone), sometimes in a deceptive way.
