Galiari: Swords and Sorceresses

Chapter One: Fire and Stone

CALL ME A NERD but I really like school. I learn something new there every day. And today I learnt three things.

One: Ugg Boots definitely belong in 2004. Yes, I'm talking to you Lisa Davis.

Two: I can fit exactly twenty-three Cheetos in my mouth.

And three: I really suck at Chemistry.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Walker! I'm sure they'll grow back eventually," I said, patting his arm sympathetically. Mr. Walker just glared at me as they stretchered him out the door of the classroom. At least, I think he glared at me. It's hard to tell after I singed his eyebrows off.

"Eden, I don't even know what to say anymore," my friend Jess said, shaking her head. "I'm surprised they haven't banned you from the labs."

"Must be my winning personality," I replied, gathering up my books. There was still fourteen minutes until the home bell, but there really isn't any point continuing the lesson with soot covering half the room. Courtesy of yours truly, of course.

The rest of my classmates are gossiping about tomorrow's big football game against Madison High and Jess is now preoccupied with ordering her binders (they're colour-coded according to subject bless her little neat freak heart). I glance around furtively to make sure no-one is looking my way then fish my cellphone out of the bottom of my bag.

Well, it's a cellphone of sorts. It's got your vanilla phone functions - calling, unlimited texts, an absolutely sweet calculator app - but it also doubles as my work phone.

Ha ha. Work phone. Yeah, cool. What am I, some sort of spy? Does it shoot lasers? Open bank vaults? Tell me exactly where I'm delivering the next pizza?

Not quite. If I swipe my thumb a certain way across the button at the bottom it brings up an entirely new screen. The sort of screen that would make any Lord of the Rings geek cream their big boy undies. List upon list of magical creatures that most humans believe are extinct or made up, from Acephali to Werewolves and everything in between. It's my job to keep them away from the human eye and out of trouble.

See, I'm not your average highly intelligent, stunningly beautiful seventeen year old (sarcasm, folks). By day I'm Eden Anderson - B average junior at Castledale High School. By night I'm Eden of Esor - magical beast wrangler extraordinaire.

Oh yeah, and I'm a motherfreaking knight.

No, really. I even have the suit of armor to prove it. Unfortunately, creatures aren't always courteous enough to stay out of the way during school hours. There's been many a time I've been tardy because of a vampire or zombie wandering across the boundary into town. And let me tell you - trying to get zombie splooge off your skirt is a real mission when you only have handsoap and the blow dryer in the girl's bathroom to work with.

Thankfully there hasn't been a crisis for a couple of weeks now. I've mostly spent the time training various weapons to keep my skills sharp and devouring copious amounts of junk food. Perks of living with state-appointed guardians.

Not your "state", of course. Because technically the United States of America isn't my home nation. It goes by another name in my world. That world is called Galiari. It's a massive kingdom that covers much of the northern Americas and consists of twelve states with names like Rorrim, Huricus, Atmos and Salvus. My state is Esor. It spans most of the north-west of your USA.

It's not exactly a foreign world or anything. We speak English, use technology, drive cars, drink coffee. We look just like your average human beings, but with one small difference: we're all magical in some way. There are wizards, witches, sorcerers and sorceresses running your banks and making your favourite fast foods. We all live right under your nose and you have no idea. Not even the most paranoid conspiracy theorists have been able to prove our existence.