#life

MEGA: The Joust Ends Abruptly

Well, yeah, that wasn't quite what I expected when they said "Jousting" after all... tired old trail horses and painted pool noodles... but then, I guess that's how things go when you don't want LAWSUITS from your visitors!!!

So, off we went from the juggling tent, Noah surrounded by the rest of my ladies -- "I guess I'm an Honorary Lady now!" he said, his infectious laughter echoing back through the charmed group -- although Kate peeled off with our guys for the joust (didn't foresee the Toby-and-Brianna thing; they must have cooked it up at the last minute!!!) and Brianna and Toby had been MIA for a while. WHATEVS!!! I think I must have lost a lot of 'em on the way to the juggling tent. Like Igor, they must have thought, "Is foolish."

Any-hoodles, so we moved off to the other booth from where you and the cameras were filming -- as the "red team" I guess we were officially the Bad Guys, or at least that was the impression I was getting from the professional entertainers who were starting out the jousting ceremonies. (They apparently tried to fit some sort of Black Knight helmet on Derek before he rode off, which he ADAMANTLY refused, in our line of sight.)

Up in our booth, Noah, Violet, Tiffany and Dixie descended on the laid-out appetizers with gusto. "Wait," said Tiffany, "I think I might be allergic to shellfish," and then downed a fifth shrimp she'd dipped in peanut sauce.

I sighed and keyed in 9-1-1 just in case I needed to call it (which ended up being a good thing, although apparently Tiffany had misremembered her allergy)

"Are YOU going to let me drink a Coke, Lindzi?" Noah asked mischievously, raising one, toast-like, in my direction.

I grinned back at the scamp. "Go for it -- and just BT-dubs, Elise feels REALLY HORRIBLE about that mixup; she wanted me to make her ABJECT APOLOGIES to you. I hope you can MAKE PEACE WITH HER over the whole thing... after all, it did turn out that SOMEONE had dosed one of the drinks!"

"Yeah," Violet said, her eyebrows drawn together in a frown, "But doesn't that imply that she knew something about it? Monika said..."

But with a blast of trumpets, she was interrupted as the jousting started in earnest.

I noticed Becky was standing off in a corner and moved over to her. "Is everything all right, Becky?" I asked.

She turned a worried face toward me and said, "Rachael decided to joust. Against Keith. And at home... at home we call her the Horse Whisperer."

I started to laugh, thinking she was joking about that movie from whenever ago, but she was in terrible earnest.

She motioned off at the horses, barely being nudged into motion by the handlers, as the first few matches went on. "I guarantee that it's more about who stays on the horse than who is a better fighter."

The "fights" we were watching appeared to bear that out.

Our group perked up when Derek and Igor rode out -- Violet perhaps a little too much, I thought -- and then watched in dismay as Igor roundly defeated him and finally rested a humiliating foot on his head.

Then Ethan vs. Mario. If you can call that a match. Tiffany rolled her eyes and left the box at that point, and I didn't see her again.

But then -- R1 flattened Keith. Becky watched in horror, and even covered her eyes. In shock, I watched him fall to the ground, then realized that I had pre-dialed 911, so I hit "send" and immediately called in the ambulances. The faire's medics took care of him as we all watched, and I motioned for Becky to come with me down to Keith's side, there outside the fence on the far side of the arena.

The first thing we saw was R1, who'd slunk around the outside of the arena to check on him.

"I didn't mean to hit him so hard..." she said lamely, tears in her eyes, "I really thought he would have at least braced for it, but he just... let go."