Helpless [Book 2]

2 || Speak

  ➟ sam
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one.

"Heya, Sam," he said, sitting down at the cafeteria table next to me. He held a Styrofoam tray with a slice of school pizza on it.  I nodded in greeting, a smile falling over my cheeks. "How did things go?"

"Y-you m-mean with m-my d-day? It's g-going well, so far. N-no one's k-killed m-me y-yet, so it's a start, " I said, running a hand down the back of my neck. My skin was a little on the hot side. Could he tell I was blushing?

"Hey, always look to the bright things in life. But uh, that's not really what I meant. I mean, I heard you, um, you know..."

"Y-yeah. Yeah."

"You came out. How did that go?"

"M-my m-mom's n-not taking it so well, and m-my d-dad thinks I'm a pussy, just saying I'm gay b-because I'm too shy to talk to g-girls. L-Louise is very kind about it, though."

"You're so brave, Sam. I could never do that," he said. I pulled on the strings of my dark blue hoodie before coming up with an idea of what to say next.

"Jay, y-you are one of the most c-capable people I kn-know. C-come on, babe, you c-can't be c-closeted forever."

"I can and I will. Not when I'm with you, though," he said, grasping my hand from underneath the table. "You're special."

"I'm n-not, r-really, b-but thanks for the compliment."

"Sam, that's not true. You are. Come on. I mean, look at you. You have the deepest brown eyes, and like, perfect skin. How does someone even do that, really. And you've got this thick hair of yours, which is endlessly fun to play with," he said, reaching out to push a strand of my hair behind my ear. "But mostly? You're so easy to talk to. You're honest but kind, soft but tough, needy but independent. You walk the line like no one I've ever met before. I'm just not ready to tell the world that."

"N-no one's ever..." I trailed off. I was looking into his eyes. Then, lower, I was looking at his nose. Then, even lower yet, I was looking at his lips.

And I guess I must have kissed him.

He pulled back quickly, eyes wider than I have ever seen them. "S-Sam! What the hell!"

The whispers were already spreading. I couldn't quite hear what they were saying, but I could make out bits and pieces from reading their lips. Slurs, comments of disbelief. The only thing going through my mind was fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shiiit fuck

"Oh my god. Oh my god I'm not ready, I..." Jay muttered under his breath, before standing and shouting something terrible.

"Oh my god, that faggot just kissed me! This is like, assault or something!"

two.

"Heya, Sam," he said, sitting down at the cafeteria table next to me. He held a Styrofoam tray with a piece of school mystery meat on it. I nodded in greeting, a smile falling over my cheeks. "How did things go?"

"Y-you m-mean with m-my d-day? It's g-going well, so far. N-no one's k-killed m-me y-yet, so it's a start, " I said, running a hand down the back of my neck. My skin was a little on the hot side. Could he tell I was blushing?

"Hey, always look to the bright things in life. But uh, that's not really what I meant. I mean, I heard you, um, you know..."

"Y-yeah. Yeah."

"You came out. How did that go?"

"M-my m-mom's n-not taking it so well, and m-my d-dad thinks I'm a pussy, just saying I'm gay b-because I'm too shy to talk to g-girls. L-Louise is very kind about it, though."