We Don't Always Get What We Want (On Hold)

Chapter 14

*Authors Note*

Hey everyone! 2 updates in a week? A pretty big achievement for me. Well once again thank Alexis for this chapter. Short I know but I think this is a good milestone to end this chapter. The next chapter will be up in the next few days.... Hopefully depending on how much I write between here to Sunday. I'm not sure how much time I will have to write once school starts on Monday so I can't promise an exact deadline. But until next update thank you for sticking with me through this long journey, and it's far from being over.

Stay beautiful.

~Jadelyn

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Days passed, and not a single word.

Where was my bestfriend right now that I needed him most?

My heart was broken, and although that was true, I was also not gonna allow myself to sit here and mope around.

"Don't pity yourself Summer" I reminded myself.

"He isn't going to call, he got some advice that he didn't like and so he decides to forget the fact that he has a bestfriend? That's not right and you know it. Especially since whenever he needs you the world stops for him, no matter what you may be doing at the time you stop, whether you're eating dinner or doing whatever else. It's not fair that he treats you this way, you deserve better."

It was funny how right my mom was, and she didn't even know I needed him more then she realized. She didn't know about Sunny.

The only person I had told was my grandma. As time passed I had kept her updated with the most recent things between Sunny and I. Each time she knew better then to ever bring anything up to my mom.

Later on that day I sat down with my grandma and told her how he didn't love me anymore.

But I made myself strong and put on a brave face. Portraying to my grandma that I was okay. I guess I thought that if I could convince her that I was alright, I would also be able to convince myself.

I sat there and told her how I didn't care, how I had a screw you mentality and that if he didn't love me well I didn't love him either.

She believed it, and for a while I knew so could I.

Time passed days, then weeks and eventually we had forgotten to pay the Internet. So one afternoon in a Wendy's parking my iPod picked up wifi. I discreetly checked Facebook.

Now after the big blow out Sunny and I had, we remained friends on Facebook. To me it felt like a security blanket, knowing that he was there even if we didn't speak.

Scrolling through my news feed I came across some pictures.

I could feel the ache in my throat, the sudden spurge of tears now rimmed my eyes.

He was back with her.

Sunny wasn't single anymore.

His arms were wrapped around her.

He was smiling.

He looked happy.

He WAS happy.

With her.

I didn't want to see it anymore, I quickly logged off and locked my iPod, hoping that the dark screen would also erase the images from my mind.

But it didn't if anything it only intensified the feeling, knowing that just a second ago I was staring down at a picture of a happy couple.

A boy and a girl, smiling and embracing each other.

A embrace that I wished so badly to be mine.

The image now burned in my mind, I could still see his smile, a smile of true and pure happiness.

A happiness that was even more evident without me.

We drove home in silence and I tried my best to forget about what I had seen.

That night while my mom slept I grabbed her phone and logged into Facebook.

"Maybe it was just a dream, yeah that's what it was, there aren't no pictures..... Oh Summer get a grip, the pictures are real and he's happy, without YOU"

My mind was right, but I had to be sure.

Scrolling back down my newsfeed there they were.

There he was.

His arm still wrapped around her.

His expression seeming happier then before.

Mocking me.

And all I could do was feel tears welding up.

As quietly as I could I got out of bed and took the phone to my grandma.

I got in bed next to her and showed her the picture.

"You still love him."

It was more of a statement then a question because it was clear that I did love him still with all my heart.

"Don't cry.... There's nothing you can do."

She was right, I was sitting here feeling broken all over again, when he had no idea I even still cared.

Why was I putting myself through this?

And all for someone who looked so happy, like he didn't have a care in the world.

I dried my tears, logged out of my Facebook and went back to bed hoping that with some well needed sleep I could forget all about this.