fear of the field ; shawn mendes

seven

jennifer dallas ;

it's currently 1am and i can't fall asleep.

i was worried that if i pressed charges on my adoptive parents they'd come looking for me and once they find me, they'll hurt me.

i miss my real parents. the ones that actually still cared for me. the ones that loved me for being me and being confident. because i knew that's all they wanted. all they wanted was for me to be happy.

but the thing is, i can't be happy when im not with them. (( hi btw we'll find out what happens to her parents so yeah :]] ))

i decided to get up and walk to matts room.

"matt?" i whispered "are you asleep?"

"no" he replied rolling over so he's facing me now

"can i sleep here tonight? i can't sleep either"

"yeah"

i got in bed and faced him.

"matt?"

"yeah?"

"i- um never mind it's nothing, good night"

"you sure?"

"yes"

"alright, good night"

i couldn't sleep but after a couple minutes i drifted off to sleep.

- dream -

"let's go baby" my mom yelled from downstairs

i quickly ran downstairs and got in the car.

"well someone's ready to go" my dad chuckled

"of course dad! we're going to Florida!!! i get to see aunty!" i squealed

my parents chuckled and started pulling out of the driveway

***
"honey we're almost here" my mom whispered

i nodded and slowly opened my eyes

we were really close to my aunts house until it started raining

it wasn't that bad but then it got worse

the car swerved out of our lane and crashed into another car

i banged my head really hard on the seat in front of me

i looked around and tried to get out of my seat but i passed out

when i woke up i was at the hospital

i looked around and saw my aunt and uncle sitting there crying

"wh-where's my mom and dad?" i asked

"oh sweetie, they didn't make it" my aunt cried

"the-they're dead?"

she simply nodded

my parents, they're gone. forever.

i started crying hard thinking about it

i can't live without my parents

i miss them.

- end of dream -

i woke up crying really hard.

i checked the time and it was only 6am

i sighed and sat there crying. sat there thinking. thinking about the fact that i didn't even get to say bye to them.

i didn't get to tell them how much they meant to me. how much i loved them. how much i cared for them.

"jen what's wrong?" matt asked

"it doesn't matter, go back to sleep"

"no, jen what's wrong? what happened?"

"i had a nightmare"

"about what?"

"reliving that day. reliving the day my parents died. reliving the day my life turned into a living hell"

"jen im so sorry, you really don't deserve to go through this"

"i just wish i told them that i loved them. that they mean so much to me. i really wish they didn't leave"

i started crying again. i couldn't take it anymore.

"im sorry"

"you don't need to apologize. don't worry about it"

i laid back down and sighed.

"it's gonna be okay, i promise" he whispered in my ear

i promise.

//

oH MY GOD

ok i know there's a lot of matt and jen and not shawn and jen but just keep in mind that this story legit just started so there's not gonna be a lot of shawn and jen until like the middle of the story

but there will be some occasional shawn and jen so yeAhh

and omg i have a chorus concert tonight and im so nervous omg skdjsndsnan wish me luck guys !!

but omg i cried writing this omfg this is so sad rip

but i hope you guys liked this :))))