Love or Hate?

I can't take this anymore,

I can't keep living like this,

I am human I make mistakes too,

but,

I never though any of them where as big as this one,

I am so mad at my parents,

I can't take the pain anymore,

they don't have a damn clue of how hard everything is for me,

They think it's just school work and back home,

and be the perfect fucking child they wanted,

Well, I am sorry I can't be perfect,

and I never will be,

My mom promises me things that she can't even keep,

And she blames it all on me,

My dad well he just agrees with my mom,

I just want to disapear from this damn world,

and see if they would care,

I have never cut,

but,

I am breaking,

I can't hold on anylonger,

I am tired of everything,

I am tired of faking being this big tough and strong person,

I will never be strong,

And I want to try,

I want to wish that this won't be as bad as I think it will,

Anyways,

My parent yelled at me,

and I just went to my room,

I didn't say anything,

I wanted to punch them in the face,

I started working out and crying,

and wondering how peoples life would be better with out me,

My mom had just ruined my weekend,

and well,

I had a lot of things to do,

I hate her for it,

I know hate is a very strong word but that is how I feel right now,

I am thinking of cutting,

but I really don't want to,

I am thinking of killing myself,

People wouldn't care,

My parents wouldn't care,

It would just be one less problem for them,

I have nothing to live for,

There is nothing worth living for,

But,

I can't do this to myself,

I must stay alive,

I must stay strong,

I hope there is someone there to help me get through this,

I have been through worse,

but,

I just want the pain to stop,

But not today,

I can't do this to myself,

atleast not today.

~·~·~·~·~·

A/N

I don't think it makes much sence but fuck it. I am trying my hardest I really am, but Things are getting to hard. I will try and get through this. ♥