Paddle and saddle

To err is Scarlet

I love him. I miss him already. I regret every minute. Wish I could reverse it. Just hoping he will come back. 

I will tell him everything before he finds out from his friend. Oh give me this chance. I didn't have an idea of betraying you.

I am sorry. I am really sorry wolf. 

I really am. 

Please be back soon. 

'I will never be able to cry my soul out of this misery. I need to confess.' I cry out. 

I can't stop my thoughts. So I decide to call him. The phone rings once, twice, hey baby. 

I murumur, 'Hi, can I expect you early today?'

'Oh my Damsel is missing me. That's a good news.'

'Jokes apart. I am dying to tell you something. Please come sooner.'

'What's up? You seem a little down. All well?'

'Yeah. See you soon bye.' I cut the call before I lose grip on myself.

I will rectify my mistake. For wolf. For us.

My phone beeps 'My baby girl is sad. What's killing you. I have a meeting which I will try to finish by 6. Sorry but I ll make up for the undue delay. Love you dimsum.'

'Ok. I will wait for you. Take your time baby. Don't rush in the heavy traffic be safe.'

He replies, 'love you.'

I send him kiss emojies and throw the phone away.

'I need to put myself together. It is no less than a sin to betray my wolf. But I need to rectify it. And I will do it.' I mentally prepare myself. 

He is a detective by profession. I will not wait till he joins all pieces together. 

I will make his job easy. But... How? I dont have confidence to face him. 

Suddenly it hits me. Oh, I can do this. 

'Clue 1: You have found what you are looking for but you always overlook it.' Clue 1 card. I put it on the fridge.

'Clue 2: Your trust is broken. But I didn't mean to. I am sorry.' This I place on dinning table. 

'Clue 3: To err is Scarlet. Please bear with me.' I put this card on the bedroom door. And close myself into the room. 

'Clue 4: I am to be blamed. It's because of me that you lost it. Before you know about it from your friend, I wish I can tell you.' I stick it on my shirt and pat it lightly. 

'Clue 5: I deserve whatever soothes you. You deserve whatever teaches me a lesson. But you must know i am sorry. I really am.' This card I stick to the drawer, my fingers trembling. The place where he uses to keep his weapons.

It's half past six. I can't tell my emotions. I have a mixed feeling of meeting my wolf today. I really wish to see him. But I will have to see pain in his eyes. Pain of betrayal. Pain of loss. Wish I could run away.

Through the thought train, I hear the screech of the stopping car. My heart skips a beat. I drop to the floor. Sobbing. 

I wipe my eyes. I hear the main door open. I look at the room door waiting for him. 

I know my wolf. He yells 'Scarlet'. My throat fails to bring out the voice in me. 'Baby drink some water from the fridge'.

'Come down honey.'

'I will. Just give me a minute.' I know he will run a sprint to see me. So I add, 'Can you get me some chilled water too?'

'Yeah sure.'

I curse myself badly. The silence is killing me. Not a minute has passed but I feel like the time has stopped at a dead end. I guess by now he must have read the card 2. I wait for him to reach the card 3, our room.

The door squeaks open. I sense his presence. His stare killing my guts foe being there. My resolve to clear the mess is waxing. 

As I clearly avoid his eyes, he comes close to me. I remain on my knees, eyes down. 

He pulls out the card from my shirt. I flinch so intensely that I lose balance on my knees. I sigh deep. First tears forming in my eyes. I blink my eyes to clear the vision, mainly to sink the drop in than pour it out.

He eyes me repeatedly from the card. I can sense it. 'What have you done?' He murmurs. 

'I will...' l was cut in mid sentence from his hands on my chin. He forces my face so that I can't escape seeing him. 

I want to cry but I don't want it to my advantage. So I bite my lips and close my eyes. His fingers presdint to my jaw with great force 'Look at me.'

'Wol...'

'Shh... I know you will have explanation ready. I see you prepared.' He pushes me away. 'Only I don't want to listen to it now.'

'Please wolf. I am sorry. I can't reverse it but my heart will hurt till you accept my apologies.'

'Scarlet. of all the people. You could do this to me.'

'Please don't take it that way. I had little choice. I will not reason out but you should know I was forced to do it.' I still can't look into his eyes. 

'Who forced you into it?'

'I was misguided. Charley told that if I dont intrervene the orphanage will be ufriend's.'

He sighs loud. 'Charley. You listened to him. Never bothered to talk about it to me.'

'He didn't give me space of time or call. Now I see it. He had planned to fool me easily. I could not reach you.'

'You fell for his words. You could trust me over him. I would never let such a thing happen.'

'I didn't know what to do. Your friend Jacob was there too. He marched his way to thrash Charley, I felt paranoid. Both started to argue. Jacob warned me against his words. I gave away anyway.'

'You didn't trust me. You went against my friend's warning too. Most importantly you hurt my trust'. He slides his Palms along his face. He seemed to lose out his composure.'

'Please don't leave me. Punish me as you want but don't go away. Please I beg of you.'

'No.' He sounded too low. I felt he spoke to himself. He started walking away. That is when I panicked. 

Him moving away gushed the life out of me. I followed him, tired to hold on to his hand. 

He immediately took his hand away from mine and swayed it up. He unwillingly hit me right on my right cheek. 

He was there for a moment. Our eyes met. I saw pain in his. I melted soft and low. He held my face lovingly, but there was unnecessary force in his hold. I frankly didn't mind. 'Let me some time. I ll come back.' He softly caressed where his slap hit me and left.

My wolf was gone. He left my side for the first time. I can't blame him for that. He needs time to absorb my sin. I wish he can forgive me. I will do all it takes to win him back.

'Wolf'. I sigh.