In the Light

Chapter Thirty-Four: A Night Out

They decided to go bowling on Saturday around 11 because that's when Dean said it was the most fun. Things had been pretty tense or maybe Ruby just thought it was. She felt awkward now that everything was out in the open. She felt like Mary pitied her. She still thought Sam was mad at her even though he said he wasn't. She thought that Dean saw her as a danger to herself and his family.

Ruby didn't really feel like participating much lately. She said she wanted to just go and watch. She told them that her side still hurt a lot. That was true. She could hardly sleep because of the discomfort. All she wanted to do was sleep. She didn't want to do anything. She wanted to lock herself in a tiny room with Sam and watch TV, but that wasn't appropriate.

She was still good at hiding how she felt. Cas couldn't even tell. She would laugh and kiss Sam. While Sam was setting up the screen, Dean and Ruby went to get food. Ruby wasn't at all hungry; that's another symptom of depression. Somehow, no one had noticed that she had barely eaten anything all day. She'd make an effort to eat some for Sam's sake.

She sat down, crisscrossing her legs on the bench seat. She crossed her arms and squeezed them against her sides. It helped her focus. Pain was different in her depressive phases. It didn't scare her and it didn't hurt. It was just there, a strange sensation that was normally bad but seemed to help her mental state.

It was days like this when she wondered why she had let Castiel take away her MS. She must have been doing pretty well mentally back then. She couldn't remember what that felt like. Images appeared in her head, like different movies on a bunch of screens. It was basically all the accidents that could happen at a bowling alley that would hurt or kill her.

She hadn't noticed, but she's been digging her arm harder into her side. She was barely breathing. She forced herself to put her arms down and look up. Dean had just put the bowling balls down on the rack. "Let's do this! You're going down little brother."

"I don't know about that. I'm first." Sam picked up his ball and went up to the lane. He lined up and threw the ball. It landed hard about halfway down the lane and shot right to the center, knocking down all the pins. "You know, I don't think this will be much fun if I get a strike every time." He high fived Ruby and sat down next to her.

Dean mockingly repeated what Sam had said, going up to the lane. Dean got a strike too. He smirked at Sam and widely gestured to the lane saying "Have at it."

"Well, I'm glad I'm not bowling. That would just be embarrassing," Ruby commented.

"I'm sure you're not that bad. Just not as good as me." Dean was very confident. Maybe he shouldn't have been because he missed two pins on his next turn. Sam doubled over with laughter. Ruby joined in on the laughter, feeling a bit better.

Dean ended up getting a spare. They kept getting strikes until Sam missed two pins. "Ha! Now we're even," Dean said.

Sam ended up loosing that game by a few points, but redeemed himself in the next game. They played multiple games. No one could remember who'd won the most games. Ruby's favorite part was the trash talk.

After a few hours, Ruby suggested that they go play games in the arcade. There was skeet ball, air hockey, basketball, and her favorite - the Terminator shooting game. Terminator was one of her favorite movies. The game had the big plastic guns that you would point at the screen to mow down terminators.

She played the game with Dean. She beat him by a landslide. "You hustled me," he complained. "I've never played this game before."

"You want to try again?" she asked, innocently. He did. He tried harder that time, but she still won.

"It's probably because you're better at shooting a real gun," Ruby said, trying to soothe Dean's bruised ego.

"You wanna bet?"

"What?"

"You wanna bet?" he repeated. "You haven't practiced shooting in awhile."

"Depends. What are you betting?" she asked cautiously.

"We'll do it like truth or dare. If you miss or don't hit the center and you pick truth or dare."

"That actually sounds fun. Let's go."

• • •

Twenty minutes later, they were deep in some woods in the middle of nowhere. Dean had used spray paint from the trunk of the Impala to put a target on a tree. They left the car on, headlights pointed at the tree stump. They started out close, but when they moved out a ways, Ruby's shot was a little off.

"Truth or dare?" Sam asked dramatically.

"Dare." Ruby figured it was safer to say that.

"Do an impression of Dean."

She snorted. "I don't think my voice can go that deep. Fine". She tried to make her face serious, but bent over with laughter. "Okay." She tossed her head back. "Dammit Sammy!" It was the best she could do. Sam laughed.

"I'll give you that one," Dean said.

Dean was the next one to miss. He picked truth. Ruby asked him to tell her about the longest romantic relationship he ever had.

"You're nosy. Her name is Lisa. I hooked up with her awhile back, but then left. I saw her eight years later when we were on a case. She had an eight year old son." Dean gave a sad smile. "He dressed like me, acted like me. Lisa said he wasn't mine though. Anyway, I left hunting and stayed with them for a year."

"What happened after that. You don't have to tell me."

"No, it's okay. I got pulled back in to hunting. I couldn't hunt and have a family, so I left."

"Do you regret it?"

"It was hard to leave, but I had to, so no. I guess I don't."

Sam missed a little while later. To lighten the mood, Ruby dared him to try to do a gymnastics routine. It was hilarious. He had too much muscle to do anything. He was like a giant moose.