This was it. The first day of the rest of her life.... of their rest of THEIR lives. She'd finally found complete, simple, happiness. On that fateful day in April she'd never dreamed that those green eyes that she loved so much would be the ones that she'd spend the rest of her life looking into. But they were. And she couldn't be happier.
* * *
"So, how are you feeling?" Lucy asked, her perfectly plucked eyebrow raised and her lips curved into smirk. "I'm... I'm good. Nervous, excited- everything you'd expect really." Came Caitlin's response as she jiggled her knee up and down. It was a nervous habit of hers. "You are the worst liar! You're shaking like a leaf. God, the way you're acting I'd think it's more likely you were being sent to join a cult, than get married!" Lucy remarked. Caitlin rolled her eyes and tutted at her best friend. "Shut up! You'd be nervous too if you were getting married at 19 and had a 18 month old son!" "Ok, ok, you're right I would! You don't, have any regrets do you? You do love Jackson. Right?!" "Lucy!!!" Caitlin exclaimed. "Of course I don't have any regrets. My life is hard, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my two boys. Jackson and Austin are my life now!" "Ok. good. Wow! That's a relief, you had me worried for a second there." "God, you're so dramatic Luce. I'm fine, ok? Now can you please stop stressing me out on my special day. Go do something useful." Caitlin ordered, but her tone didn't match her expression. She was wearing a sad, distanced mask on that dainty face of hers. "Cate? Honey? What's up? Why are you so sad?" "I just wish Erin was here, you know. Almost every moment we had together was spent planning our weddings. Now my wedding day is here and she- well, she's not. And that's not right. Or fair. It hurts. And all I want is for Jackson and Austin to be here comforting me. But I know what you're gonna say- 'the bride and groom aren't to see each other until the ceremony'." Lucy wiped the tears from her best friends face and tucked her hair behind her hair. "I think we can make an exception." She said softly. "You're right, he's good for you. They both are." Caitlin gave her best friend a huge hug. "Thank you." "You're welcome sweetie. I'll go give Jackson a call." She began to walk away. "Wait!" Lucy turned around expectantly. "You're the best friend I could have asked for. I don't thank you enough for always being here for me. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Me neither! But who are you marrying today; me or Jackson?!" She winked playfully. "No, I'm kidding. It's my pleasure. I love you Cate." "I love you too Lu."
Caitlin was splitting her time between eavesdropping on Lucy's phone conversation with Jackson and getting dressed. Since it was only 10am, it was socially acceptable for her to have been in a nightgown until now. She wore a cream three-quarter length dress with blue swallows scattered on it. To accessorize, she hurriedly fastened a black patent onto her waist, pearl stud earrings, blue peep toe heels and a blue cross-body bag. As she rushed out the house she heard Lucy call her name, but she didn't stop. She had to go. Now, before it was too late.
* * *
As she walked she began to wonder if Lucy was right to be concerned. Was she having doubts? There was no logical reason why she should be; she loved Jackson and she felt safe, and happy with him. So why was she running? She was scared. That was the answer Caitlin herself decided on. At 19, most teenagers are getting drunk and passign out on the sofas of random strangers at parties. But Caitlin was 19 going on 30; she was washing up, cooking dinner, changing nappies and sampling foods for her wedding meal. It was all too much too soon. She was still going to married, that hadn't changed. She just needed to step back, take a beat. Have some time to herself. So, she popped into Starbucks and drank coffee. Alone. She felt like a strange mixture of a 5 year old and a 80 year old. She was lost and scared, and yet she felt as though hot drinks and scones were the best parts of life.
Caitlin was finishing her coffee when, from her seat near the window, she saw Elsie one of her good friends walk by. That was not a good sign. Apparently Lucy had sent out a search party already. It was a typical Lucy move, she was something of a perfectionist and had given herself the responsibility of making sure Caitlin was prepped and ready to go just in time. Ostensibly, tracking down the bride-to-be and bringing her home was one of the things she was required to do as part of her new, self-appointed role. Well, technically it wasn't really self-appointed as Caitlin had named her maid-of-honour, or as Caitlin had joked, maid-of-dishonour. Unfortunately for Caitlin, Elsie noticed her and immediately back-tracked and walked into Starbucks.
"Caitlin! What are you doing here? We've been searching high and low for you!" Was the greeting Elsie gave. "Yeah, hi. Nice to see you too." Caitlin responded, her tone heavy with sarcasm. At this Elsie took a deep, measured breath and sat down opposite her close friend. "I'm sorry honey. It's just, we were all so worried. And you know how.... how shall I put this- irrational, Lucy can get when she's under pressure." "Yes, I do. All too well. Don't worry about it Els, no harm done." "Are you sure about that?! If that's true then why did you run away on your wedding day?" Elsie asked, her face clearly displaying her anticipation. "Look, seriously everyone's just being over-dramatic about this whole thing. Everything's fine." "Caitlin, c'mon, You know you can talk to me!" "There's nothing to talk about! So you can go home, report back to Sergeant Lucy Jaymes and tell her everything's peachy, and leave me the hell alone, alright?" Caitlin snapped. Elsie looked startled, this was not like Caitlin at all. As far as she knew she's never snapped at anyone like that in her life. With that, Elsie rose, muttered a farewell to Caitlin and left. On her way home she dialled Jackson's number and informed him of the situation and then text Lucy. The text read:
" Luce, SOS! Caitlin's NOT a happy girl. On my way to see you xoxo"
* * *
Half an hour later Caitlin was browsing the sale section in Zara. She had: a mint green sweetheart neckline dress with a white floral pattern, a strapless burgundy fit-and-flare dress, a denim circle skirt, a navy cable-knit jumper, black high-waisted shorts and a beige knit cardigan- thrown over her right arm and in her left hand she carried a red small satchel cross-body and some tan T-bar heels.
After she'd purchased her items from Zara, Caitlin headed to juice bar to get her favourite smoothie. It was there that Jackson found her.
Having just bought her smoothie, Caitlin spun around and was just about to walk down the street when she collided with someone. Not looking up due to her guilt, (she hadn't been looking where she was going and knew it was her fault, plus she spilled her smoothie on the stranger), Caitlin found that the only thing she could see for what seemed like miles was the guys striped T-shirt. He was tall. Really tall. The crazy height, and that top reminded her of someone. Someone she knew very well. More than he knew himself. She looked up. Jackson.
"Hey." She began. "Hey." He echoed. "Sorry, about your shirt." "Don't worry about it." They were acting like strangers- no, correction, she was acting like they were strangers- despite the fact they were engaged and had known each other for three years now. For a moment, Jackson said nothing. He just looked at his fiance. It was like he was seeing into her soul, evaluating on what to do to sort out whatever it was that was in her head. He was worried. It was irrational, he knew that, she loved him, they had a child together. He trusted her. And yet, illogically negative thoughts still crowded his mind:
"What if she doesn't love me anymore?" "What if she leaves me at the altar?" "What if she takes Austin away from me?" "What if she hates me?" "What if she never did love me, and this is all a sick, twisted, yet expertly-executed game of hers?"
Jackson tried to hush the loud voices in his head and to some extent he succeeded. He put his arm around Caitlin, kissed her forehead and said: "C'mon. We've got a lot to talk about."
* * *
And so they talked, and talked, and talked. When they were done, they both felt a huge release.
"Honey, I'm sorry. Look, if this is too much for you we can always pros-pone the wedding." "NO! No. We don't need to do that. Baby, I love you, so much. It's just, it's a lot to take in. I'm scared. Come September, you'll be working more and I'll be splitting my time between uni and Austin. It's going to be difficult, and I feel like we'll hardly ever see each other!" "We'll make time for us. It'll be ok, we'll work it out." "But what if I can't cope? What if i get too stressed and make you hate me?!" "Honey, that will never happen!" "How do you know that?" "Because I love you too much. As for the stress thing, what can I do to make you less stressed? Do you want me to work less, take care of Austin more? Help you with your uni work? Tell me." "I don't know! We'll figure that out later!" "When? After our honeymoon?" "Honeymoon?! We're not having a honeymoon!" "That's what you think!" Jackson said grinning. "Oh my God! Did you plan a surprise honeymoon?!" Caitlin squealed. "What?! No!!!" "Oh." Caitlin's face fell. Jackson beamed. "I'm kidding! Yes, I did plan a surprise honeymoon!" Caitlin gently pushed him onto the grass. "You're mean!" She whispered. She was lying across his body and their faces were so close their noses were almost touching. She leaned down and kissed him sweetly. "Thank you." She said, smiling widely. "Anything for you." Jackson replied, his voice full of the up-most sincerity. "We;re getting married!!!!!!" Caitlin shrieked. And, in perfect unison, they both erupted into fits of laughter.
