My mother rushes through the door with her dirty blonde hair a mess, and pulls me into a hug. She's worried, I can tell because she never hugs me, she doesn't even love me. I don't know why she picked me up early from school today but I don't want to argue with her. When we get into the car my three sisters and two brothers are already there and I sit in the only seat left. My little sister sitting next to me keeps shoving her doll in my face, I push it away and look out the window. The screaming in the back of the car makes me want to punch them all in the face, but instead I just put my earbuds in and close my eyes.
My sister shakes my shoulder to get my attention when we are in a parking lot of a hospital. I pull my earbuds out and get out of the van, we all walk in the doors of the hospital, the little kids all holding hands. When we get to a desk we are all handed visitors passes and escorted to an emergency room. I walk in first because I'm the only one that's not crying because this stuff doesn't get to me, until I do break down crying. "Grandma?" I say. I run to her with all of the tubes and surgical equipment attached to her, what happened? I look at her and tears fall from my eyes, her eyes flick over to me and she lights up, "Rory," she says in a raspy voice, "I love you, be a good boy for your momma okay, and a good big brother, I know you can do it..." She coughs. " because you've always been a good grandson." All the kids crowd around her pushing me out of the way, she tells them all to be good and to be nice. I just can't believe it's already happening, I loved her, she loved me and now she's going to die, I fall down on the ground and press my forehead against the floor as hard as I can, I don't usually like when people see me cry but I don't seem to care now. I bawl my eyes out and stay on the floor because no one moves me, no one knows the pain I feel right now, I loved my grandmother more than my mom or dad or siblings, I loved her more than myself, she was the nicest soul you could ever meet, she always had fresh cookies and sweets for us and I always felt like I was the closest to her, I mean I was the oldest and I knew her the longest but that's not just it, I did everything with her, she made me feel normal, well almost normal.
I'm back home now, her heart stopped after a couple of hours, apparently she had a heart attack and she just couldn't live anymore. I sit in my room and lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, I can't do anything else. When I used to hug her it was like she actually loved me unlike my mother, because she squeezed me so tight I could barely breath but the second I heard that long continuous beeeeep I wanted that hug more than anything, you don't know what it's like to hug a frail, limp, lifeless body that used to hug you tightly back all the time. But now I feel like it was a dream, I feel like it didn't happen even though I know it did. I locked myself in my room like I usually do because of all the kids and how I'm sad and all, I try not to cry but how can you not when the person who raised you just died. I decide that I just need a shower so I walk into the bathroom and turn on the hot water I strip off my jeans and my t-shirt and look at myself in the mirror, I don't look like all the guys at my school, I mean I'm not the guy that every girl wants to date, I'm more like the guy that no one knows, my hair is really dark brown and I don't wear the popular fashion, I try to stay away from everyone because they don't like me and I don't like them, I stay where I belong, alone. I turn around and hop into the shower.
My mom says that I can stay home from school tomorrow since it was a stressful day for everyone. I think that's cool but I still don't like skipping classes.
I don't go to school. I didn't want to have the chance of crying at school so I just stayed home and watched tv. I watched the news because nothing else that was good was on so I had to listen to politics and weather, I've never wanted to go to school so badly. I turn off the tv and go outside, there's always something fun to do outside right? I walk over to the big magnolia tree in front of my house, which has no leaves because it is fall but I still love it. I reach up for the lowest branch and swing my body up and over the branch, I climb as high as I can before I can't climb anymore. I sit in the tree and watch everything happening outside. I see my neighbor Mrs. Miller trimming her hedges and her husband Mr. Miller sitting on the porch reading a newspaper, I've always love those two. I also see my other neighbor and "friend's" mom walking her dog Marley. Then my front door opens and my youngest brother comes out, he is only 4 and he's adorable but I don't have time for him right now, I smile and jump down from the tree. "R," he says, that's what a lot of people call me, "why do you act so strong but on the inside you aren't?" He asks, who taught this boy English, oh yeah, me. "Bryan, I wouldn't call it acting strong, it's more like tough, you know tough guy stuff, you wouldn't understand." He grips his teddy bear and says "I do understand, because your my brother and I understand you." I smile and ask "Are you hungry?" He nods so I make him a PB&J sandwich and he eats it. I climb back into the tree and fall asleep.
When I wake up, my mother is calling my name, that must be why I woke up. I look down at her on the porch, ugh, she always needs me for stupid stuff like organizing the fridge or giving the cat a bath, which isn't necessary because they clean themselves. My mom is always drunk so I don't usually help her with stupid stuff like that but now I need to, I don't really know why but I do. I hop from branch to branch down from the tree and run across the yard to her.
"What do you want, Mom?" I ask her exasperated.
"Rory, you need to take your brothers and sisters to the park." She groggily says,
"Why? Why can't Lily do it? I ask, lily is the oldest kid other than me, she's 13.
"She went to the library, now go and take them to the park, they're getting on my nerves." She says louder.
Without replying I run inside and get all four of them ready. I can't believe I have to do this on my one day off, we have to walk, because I failed my drivers test, I can take it again next year when I'm 17. We get our shoes on and leave our small house with nothing but a drunken women inside. We walk on the right side of the rode like we usually do, the park isn't far away, only half a mile so we get there pretty fast, but not without complaints. I sit down on a bench and watch the kids play. I would've been on my phone right now but Mom broke it when she threw it at the wall while looking for something, making it unable to use. I sit there watching them run around playing tag and hide and seek, it's so stupid. I twiddle my thumbs and occasionally look up at the kids, I have literally nothing to do. I hear a faint sound and turn around, I see a guy roller skating behind me, riding on ramps and rails. He stops and looks at me, he's wearing a hood that hides all of his hair, loose jeans with rips and holes, old sneakers, and big headphones. He sets down his skate board and rides it towards me, he looks like he's going to crash into me when he jumps and does a flip over the bench I'm sitting on, and stares at me. I look at him and ask "Can I help you?" He picks up his skateboard and kicks dirt in my face, I wipe it off and stand up "What's your problem?" I ask loudly, I didn't do anything to him. He quickly gets on his skateboard and rides away, what just happened? Molly, my 6 year old sister cries from behind me, oh no. I run over to her and she says she fell and scraped her knee so we decide to go home, but I can't help looking back towards where the guy rode away.
"Rory!" One of my siblings screams waking me up from my sleep. I groggily get out of my bed and walk across the room to see my little sister Claire who's 9 sitting up on the floor where she sleeps, we have six children in our house but only two rooms to fit us all in, my little sister Claire, my brother Bryan and me share this room, and Lily, my 8 year old brother, and 6 year old Molly are in the room across the hall, while Mom gets the biggest master bedroom. I sit down on the floor next to Claire and hug her,
"What was it? Monsters? Demons? Killers?" I ask, I know this because she always has a nightmare about one of them.
"None of those." She says hesitantly, "It... It was you." She says.
I look at her to make she wasn't joking but she wasn't she looked serious, "What did I do?" I ask her, I'm afraid that it was something bad.
"Rory, you... you killed mom." She says and starts to break down crying.
She sobs on the floor while I rub her back soothingly, I don't know how to confront her now, I always do when it monsters or demons, but now it's different, I feel like she isn't happy that I'm here like usual. It's like she's afraid of me.
I wake up on the floor next to Claire, with my arms wrapped around her in comfort. I look up at my clock and see that it says 6:13 that's when I usually get up to go to school, so I gently get up from the floor and step carefully over Claire's sleeping body. I get a towel off the floor and walk into the bathroom. Stepping in the bathroom I notice that's it is really messy but I don't have time to clean it so I strip off my clothes and turn on the water in the shower. I get in the shower and enjoy the hot water trickling down my body. When I get out of the shower I brush my teeth and put on deodorant. I leave the bathroom with my towel around my waist and walk back into my bedroom. Claire and Bryan are still asleep so I try to be as quiet as I can while I put on my clothes. I pick up a t-shirt from the pile of laundry and a pair of jeans from my drawer and put them on. I go to the kitchen which is full of wine bottles and shot glasses, I push them aside and get a pan from the cabinet, eggs and bacon I bought with my money from raking leaves, and milk. I make scrambled eggs and put the bacon in the oven to cook them for a while. I get out some milk and pour it into glasses. I push everything off of the table onto the floor, mostly papers, mail, wine, and trash. I set the table and put bacon and eggs on everyone's plate, man I made all the bacon and have enough eggs for one more day, I'm gonna have to start raking leaves more, I can't wait until winter when I can shovel people's driveways; Mrs. Miller always gives me extra money because she needs to drive to church every Sunday. I run into my room and shake Claire and Brian awake and the others too. We eat and I get my shoes on and put on my black hoodie. I tell everyone to be good and walk to school (Which isn't very far away) when it's time, and I leave the house riding my bike to school.
"Where were you yesterday, dude." Trevor asks,
I hate him, he's my least favorite person in the world. I don't answer and push past him. "Wait, we really missed you." I keep walking, I will never stoop to his level. I keep walking to my first class. I open the door and go to my assigned seat in science. I am the first one In class so I sit there waiting for everyone to come to class. I always sit in the back so no one will sit next to me, because frankly I think people are annoying. When all the student arrive and are sitting down, sadly a girl named Tori sat next to me, she's not the worst person in the world so I don't mind, we get started on our work.
"Do you have a pencil?" Asks a quiet voice. Tori.
"No." I say, I don't feel like speaking to her because I need to focus on my work.
"Are you sure? I really need one, my pencil broke and I..."
I interrupt her "I don't have a freaking pencil, I'm pretty sure I would know if I had a pencil so just stop..."
"Rory? Are you talking?" Asks the teacher Mr. Robinson "Because I suggest you stop right now, get to work!"
That was the only eventful thing that happened before lunch, everything else was just boring, like school usually is, except when I enter the lunch room. I get in line for lunch, I get my food, I pay for it, and I sit down. I eat my food slowly and look at every table, the table with the smart kids, the table with the emo and goths, the table with the homosexuals, ew, the table with the "normal" people that are nice and friendly, the table with the burn outs that have terrible lives and where the same clothes everyday, the popular black people and people who act black, the regular popular people, and me, my lonely table in the corner is the one place I can be alone, it's kind of nice. My eyes avert from where I'm looking, towards the door. A guy walks in with baggy jeans, a hoody with the hood pulled up, and dirty sneakers, Him, the guy from the park. I rise from my seat and walk slowly towards him gradually getting faster and faster. I run at him and tackle him to the ground wrestling his lean body.
"What's the hell dude, why'd you kick dirt in my face, why? I yell urgently. I can see people crown around me and either chant "fight" or trying to pull me off of him, and by the looks of things they're succeeding, they just about pull me away but before they can I reach down and pull off the guys hood. Utter shock fills me and I can't breath, my hands break free from their grip and a mix of students and teachers drag me away, and they bring me to the office. I sit in a chair waiting for the principal to call me into his office, my foot keeps tapping and sweat forms on my temples and on my hands, I don't really get in trouble much, okay I do but that's not why Im sweating, I'm sweating because I'm in shock. The guy I just tackled isn't even a guy, she's a girl.
