If you, reading this, ever do check out the song selections, I don't ever really choose songs that fit the plot of the chapters, maybe the lyrics do not always fit, but I choose the songs that come to mind when writing the chapters and in certain parts of the chapter and I realize that I should not do that but oh well.
Song(s) A change of heart The1975//MDWS Circles// Alina Baraz Drift//Heart out The1975 preferably the part (why don't you say it out loud, instead of living in your head) - songs that came to mind
Blue Troye Sivan// Never knock Kevin Garrett// Skinny Love birdy// oh wonder drive// Lost Boy Ruth B. -songs that do fit
Pssst! There are so many alternative endings for this so comment if you want them.
~Connor~
I awoke in the piano room that was now painted in colors that not even the rainbow contained. The paint cans had been moved to the far side of the room and the floor was completely clean. It looked as if it was our correct intentions to destroy such a nice room. I had a blanket over me that had snowflakes decorated in blue. There were tiny painted blue finger prints on it, but my hands were stained yellow. So I figured it must have been blue eyes who had laid the blanket over me.
I would have spontaneously combust at such a gesture. I would have told blue eyes that I loved him, again.
That is if blue eyes were here. He was nowhere to be seen. Though our song had been left out on the piano bench and I saw a green bracelet that he always wore around his wrist on the floor next to me, where I slept.
It was an odd thing of him to do. He never left that bracket anywhere. I never saw it depart from his wrist, let alone himself.
He often disappeared like this, so I didn't find any need to worry. I was sure he'd find his way back to me as always, as I to him.
But hours passed. He still never showed. I waited from morning until 5pm. I didn't want to, but by 5:15pm I was sure I was destined to drown in a pool of my own tears. No matter how much I tried I couldn't push the invading and overwhelming thoughts that consumed me.
Why would he do something like this?
Surely if someone cares, they wouldn't leave you, sure knowing you've been waiting for them, right?
Oh but if that someone was real they wouldn't disappear.
That word kept replaying in my mind. Haunting me over the passing time that I wasn't looking for him.
Real.
The sudden thought of being insane was too much to bare so I ignored it as if it was never there. Troye was real. How could something so good not be? How could the one thing that saved me, just disappear?
I held my head in my hands and squinted my green eyes. I had to do something. Sitting here and wondering why he left wasn't getting me anywhere at all, only making me sure of never wanting the world again.
Though the fact of it obviously never wanting me made it hurt less.
"I should have known better." I belittled myself as I frantically searched for my car keys. I didn't know where I was going or where I was going to look for him but I knew I had to try. I couldn't live with myself if I never tried. Even if that might be that he never tired for me. He was the only thing I had, honestly.
