If you, reading this, ever do check out the song selections, I don't ever really choose songs that fit the plot of the chapters, maybe the lyrics do not always fit, but I choose the songs that come to mind when writing the chapters and in certain parts of the chapter and I realize that I should not do that but oh well.
Song(s) A change of heart The1975//MDWS Circles// Alina Baraz Drift//Heart out The1975 preferably the part (why don't you say it out loud, instead of living in your head) - songs that came to mind
Blue Troye Sivan// Never knock Kevin Garrett// Skinny Love birdy// oh wonder drive// Lost Boy Ruth B. -songs that do fit
Pssst! There are so many alternative endings for this so comment if you want them.
~Connor~
I awoke in the piano room that was now painted in colors that not even the rainbow contained. The paint cans had been moved to the far side of the room and the floor was completely clean. It looked as if it was our correct intentions to destroy such a nice room. I had a blanket over me that had snowflakes decorated in blue. There were tiny painted blue finger prints on it, but my hands were stained yellow. So I figured it must have been blue eyes who had laid the blanket over me.
I would have spontaneously combust at such a gesture. I would have told blue eyes that I loved him, again.
That is if blue eyes were here. He was nowhere to be seen. Though our song had been left out on the piano bench and I saw a green bracelet that he always wore around his wrist on the floor next to me, where I slept.
It was an odd thing of him to do. He never left that bracket anywhere. I never saw it depart from his wrist, let alone himself.
He often disappeared like this, so I didn't find any need to worry. I was sure he'd find his way back to me as always, as I to him.
But hours passed. He still never showed. I waited from morning until 5pm. I didn't want to, but by 5:15pm I was sure I was destined to drown in a pool of my own tears. No matter how much I tried I couldn't push the invading and overwhelming thoughts that consumed me.
Why would he do something like this?
Surely if someone cares, they wouldn't leave you, sure knowing you've been waiting for them, right?
Oh but if that someone was real they wouldn't disappear.
That word kept replaying in my mind. Haunting me over the passing time that I wasn't looking for him.
Real.
The sudden thought of being insane was too much to bare so I ignored it as if it was never there. Troye was real. How could something so good not be? How could the one thing that saved me, just disappear?
I held my head in my hands and squinted my green eyes. I had to do something. Sitting here and wondering why he left wasn't getting me anywhere at all, only making me sure of never wanting the world again.
Though the fact of it obviously never wanting me made it hurt less.
"I should have known better." I belittled myself as I frantically searched for my car keys. I didn't know where I was going or where I was going to look for him but I knew I had to try. I couldn't live with myself if I never tried. Even if that might be that he never tired for me. He was the only thing I had, honestly.
There was a reason I kept myself in all this time. So I was for sure I had nothing to lose. That if I made no emotional attachment to things than if they ever got taken away from me I'd be numb. I wouldn't have to feel the pain. The loss. The only thing I had to feel was blue. But it seemed this boy was taking everything I had and somehow taking all the once vibrant colors out of my life, and changing them to nothing but black and white. No color mattered to me in that moment. He was the only thing that mattered.
That is
If he is real.
If I couldn't find him maybe others could. I thought of the only place we had been to where other people were too.
The café.
I startled myself a little by how I sprinted out my front door, not bothering to even close it, just in thought of a hope that I could find him. I didn't want to hide anymore. I didn't ever want to go back.
~
I swerved into the parking lot, almost hitting a family of four and a streetlamp. Then again they were the ones in the way but then again if they weren't hurt I had bigger things to worry about.
I carelessly swung the door to the café open and the waiter looked up at me, almost knowingly. As if there was an unknown problem with me.
Though in all honesty there was.
I dramatically slammed my hands on the front counter and he looked me up and down. As if he couldn't blame my actions.
He was the one that saw me and Troye the time we officially met. He could have seen him. It seemed as if he already knew me. As if reading my mind he said,
"I know you. You were the one at the booth all alone talking to yourself." He gave me another somewhat disgusted look. As if he thought I was insane.
"I'm sorry, alone?" I questioned.
His eyes widened and he nodded his head quickly as if such a thing was obvious.
"You walked in alone and stayed at that one booth for hours until night." He pointed to where me and ocean eyes sat. Or at least I think we had.
I shook my head in disbelief. I refused to belive blue eyes was not real.
"No no no." I started. "I came in here with a boy." He looked completely lost so I started describing blue eyes.
"He wore green and had blue eyes and he had this green bracelet on!" I thought that the bracelet would be recognizable as I scrambled through my pocket to find it. I put it there in hopes if I found him I'd give it back to him. But just like him the bracelet had somehow disappeared.
He looked at me with a hint of terror in his brown eyes. I thought it best that I should leave before he called the police on me.
"You have a nice night." He said hesitantly, making sure he knew he thought I was crazy. Maybe he was right. He was right until I would find ocean eyes. Until then.
~
I gave up. I kept finding myself running around in circles back to my house. I looked all around it. I felt he was there.
I knew he was there.
But I had been wrong to trust him so I was mostly just denial.
That's when I saw it. That's when I saw him. I was sitting on my front porch looking across to the woods and I don't know why I hadn't tried to look there before.
Because ocean eyes was staring right at me. His arms folded across his torso, staring at me as if in deep thought. His bracelet was latched tight around his wrist as if he had never once taken it off.
I blinked again and this time he was right next to me. Making me gasp of how quickly he had moved.
Though I'm not sure he moved at all.
I was upset, more at myself than him, admittedly. I had been driving myself mad looking for him all night long.
"I was looking for you all night-"
"I know." He cut me off. He sat down next to me, still seemingly in deep thought. As if none of this mattered. Though it was starting to seem as if he didn't. Almost as if he had a way of making me feel calm. Forcing me to forget about it all. Eventually the minutes passed and I did. He stayed quiet, staring at the what seemed to him pretty interesting ground. I was just thankful to have him with me.
"Promise you will never leave like that again?" I asked.
He laughed a dark laugh. As if my question was was a very silly thing to ask of. It wasn't. Not to me at least.
I wanted to get up and go somewhere. The more I stayed close to my home the more I wanted to get away from it. I don't ever want to go back home. I was wherever neverland was, with him.
So I said it out loud. I was tired of living in my head all the time.
"I don't ever want to stay home. I don't want the comfort of my suburbia."
He turned to me and smiled.
"Really?" He asked.
"Yeah." I assured him.
"Good." He started. "Though before I go there is one last thing you'll need to know. I'm only here when I'm needed. The rest is in your wildest dreams."
"Wait, so you aren't real?" I shook my head in disbelief. Something I seemed to do a lot after I met him.
"Well that is up to you. I helped you see the world. I am no longer needed here." He looked to the woods again. Hinting something that I could not tell what of.
I had so much more to ask. But with a simple blink of an eye he was gone. And I was left alone on my porch, under the beautiful jet black sky and the beautiful moon with a beautiful bunch of yellow stars to pair with it.
Then I saw him. Only one last time. And he did that thing again. That thing where he was no where near but I could hear him as if he was right beside me. He was standing by the edge of the trees.
"Til we meet again." He whispered.
And he was gone before to hear me whisper back,
"Til we meet again."
If you are oh so confused on whyy this was a short story read my bio plz. Yaaay that was fun!
Sorry for any typos lol
