People will try and trick you: they tell you they love you and the next day they throw you away.
(and I thought I was the one who was dishonest)
But those people, they will have convinced you that they were worth it: worth the tears, the fights, the pain, and the sleepless nights.
They weren't worth it, not at all. The people who are worth it are the ones who stay beside you. Through thick and thin. The ones who don't try and make you unhappy because they'll always be unhappy themselves. The ones who won't hold things against you forever: the ones who forgive...and forget. The ones who won't run away when problems come. The ones who don't laugh at things no one should laugh at, the ones who don't pretend they are invincible to offenses and to pain...when they are the most vulnerable. The ones who don't boast about their security when they are truly insecure. The ones who don't bully one day and act like a saint the next. The ones who let you in: the ones who don't shut you out. The ones who don't tell you they love you but never show it.
The people who are worth it are the people who have stayed beside me to guide me and hold me in the night.
But, regardless of worth I can't help but love people who don't deserve it. Who have treated me like crap and then freak out when I do the same, acting like they've never done anything wrong. I still love those people, fiercely and passionately and wholeheartedly. I mean every word I say when I say that I love someone, when I call someone my friend like I did to those people. And I will wait for them, even if they haven't waited for me.
But I will also find it in myself to fly away and be free. You will never be free or happy because you've fallen in love with your chains and burdens and heavyweights. You're fascinated with pity, and being pitied. You refuse to try to change or to make yourself and others happy: because your sickness comforts you...and you can't bear to be uncomfortable, can you? Leave when it's awkward, right?
Stay bitter. Stay unhappy. Stay apathetic and stay unable to love. I, for one, will forgive you and I will let go of my bitterness and I will learn to love the right way and I will change and evolve and move on. I don't like the trenches, I don't like the war: I want peace.
I have peace. I am filled with peace and happiness. You are not, and for that I cry and for that I will pray that one day you might find the same things I found.
Because even if you're not worth it, I don't want you to remain as miserable as you enslave yourself to be.
