TRIGGER WARNING!!!!
It's like a pulse, it's always there, looming from the back of my imagination but still real. Chanting over and over words of encouragement that others would see as songs of madness leading me closer to distruction. It screams now, cliche, but nothing better discribes the burning voices smoldering my every thought now. It wants one thing as usual: to win. Or rather to see me fall to my demise. Strangely I couldn't agree with it more, we reach out into blazing darkness for the same goal. Others try to pull too. Both them on the inside of my mind and out want me to stay here. Like pulling off a dark secure blanket the try to force me into the paralyzingly bright light of living. It's quiet now. The worst part is here, to choose, I had my moment to act and blame sheer impulse but the time has come to choose on my own. No crying pleas from the side ways tallies reminding me. No desperate begging threats from they who I stay for only to be beaten down by. I realize now they don't want me to stay for me. They don't even want me. They want the memorable corpse of happiness that I have been putting forth for far too long only to have them lash out right when it begins to bleed in desperation. I know I need help, but I'm not sure weather the help is to stay or leave.
