7 | A Little Color

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I studied hard for this

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I studied hard for this. I'm going to prove my mother wrong. Don't give up. Nothing worth having comes easy.

The plastic chair creaked beneath my weight as I rocked back and forth. I nibbled on the end of my pencil and stared at the last few questions on my chemistry test. Eraser marks and dark lines littered my paper.

I'll never be able to accomplish my dreams of becoming a doctor. My mother was right. I was stupid.

My eyes flitted to the clock at the front of the room, but they returned to the test just as quickly. In thirty seconds, my fate would be sealed; one way or another. I choked down the rising acid, and placed my head in my hands, digging my nails into the sides of my head.

When the sound of the timer punctured the silence of the room, I almost bit my tongue in two. Tears filled my eyes as I rose to turn my test into the neat pile on Dr. Pathak's desk. He smiled and said something to me, but I was oblivious to his words as I grabbed my backpack. I exited the room with the other students. Frustration made my body stiff. My back slid down the wall outside the classroom until I was sitting against the cold, white tile.

Loud voices and footsteps echoed in the large hallway of the science department. I couldn't fall apart if I wasn't alone. The tears continued to build along my eyelashes, but refused to fall. A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I wrapped my arms around my knees. When I felt like I beat my mother in one part of my life, she found a way to ruin something else. How long would this cycle continue?

"Allyson?"

I tore my eyes from my shoes to watch Madison hurry toward me with her pink binder in her hands. Her straight hair was pulled into a tight ponytail, and her make-up free face was glossed with concern.

She dropped down beside me in the floor of the hallway, allowing her binder to slide onto the tile. "Hey, girl. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I lied.

Her eyes wandered to the room number on the wall before returning to me. "Your chemistry test was today. Is that what this is about?"

I tucked my hair behind my ears and straightened my back. "No, I'm fine."

Madison rolled her eyes as she turned to place her back against the wall, stretching her legs out in front of her. "I'm your friend, Allyson. You don't have to lie to me."

I sighed. "Everything was fine until the end. I started to doubt myself. I let my mo—" I stopped short when the tears threatened to fall again.

"Is this about your mom?"

I nodded as I picked my finger nail polish. "Yeah."

Madison placed her hand on my wrist to stop me. "I thought it was funny when you said your mother wouldn't let you color your hair. Your mom must be pretty overbearing."

I hadn't told anyone about my struggles with my family, but maybe it was time for that to change.

"She's overbearing and controlling. Emotionally abusive. Hateful. She doesn't care for my brother. She's obsessed with other people's opinions. She pretends to be something she's not."

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