You Are My Escape

• Chapter 5: Torn •

K A T L E H O

"Chronic depression" Candice diagnosed, she kept writing on her notepad, stopping for a second to glance at me.

I didn't know how to respond. I had a feeling it was.

"Okay, so what you need to do for me, is write a diary" she stated.

"Uhm, no" I said, the thought of writing down my thoughts in a notepad, for hours on end.  "Uh no thank you, I don't do that stuff- um I don't write"

"I get it, writing sometimes is just irritating. But I want to keep track of your progress, from now to hopefully where you will be soon" she said "it helps, I've seen it with many people"

I didn't want to write, she looked at me, holding out a book.

"How about you just write down your feelings?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No " I responded. 

I grabbed the diary she held out, it was thick and brand new, I saw that by the  engraved writing and the smell.

"Just write what you feeling, anything. It doesn't have to be to me. Write to anyone. Or maybe you future self or whatever makes you comfortable" 

I didn't want to write, I knew myself. I was going to get bored of it soon enough.

"Come on" she said. "Or even better-"

"If you don't want to write, here" she said, she bent down digging something in a drawer under her desk

After a minute or so of searching she found what she had been looking for.

"Here you go" she said, she handed me an old box.

I raised an eyebrow, glancing back at her.

She had a earnest look on her face. "Take it"

I grabbed the box, pulling it closer to me until it was at the end of the desk on my end.

I glanced at her before slowly opening the box, I found a small black recorder inside.

"What-" I started.

"My grand father gave that to me" she said, I looked up at her in shock.  There was tears visible in her eyes,

"Uhm- he was a journalist, that recorder was the best of the best at that time. He uh- gave it to me when he passed on" she said "I don't have a use of it, you can talk to it,  as if you are talking to me, a substitute of writing"

"I can't take this" I said to her, her tears had vanished. 

"I need to keep track." She said, going back into professional mode. "Click the button over there to record. Click it twice to pause and thrice to stop" she said.

I looked down at the antique in my hands. I looked at the white swirled  decorations on it.

"Take care of it" she hesitated as I placed it back in the box.