1.1 | Cherry Knots ✓

09 | racing

0 9

r a c i n g

Declan's long strides covered the room within mere seconds. There was no second guessing when he dipped his head, his lips crashing onto mine. I was pinned against the wall, and I found my arms weaving themselves around his neck as I pulled him in closer.

There was nothing gentle about the kiss, but the raw unleashing of tension we had built up between us all this time. We had only kissed twice before this, but it felt like his tongue knew every contour of my mouth. He was an expert in the field of kissing, which made absolutely no sense in the hazy fog of my mind, but I could hardly care less.

"What about Stella?" I asked, at last, pulling away from him.

"Fuck it," He murmured, "I couldn't go out with her after leaving you like that. I can't even tell you how much I'm crazy for you," He continued, his voice unusually rough and muffled against my skin.

That stopped me. "What did you say?"

He smiled, and it took all of my willpower not to kiss him again. "I said I'm crazy for you. Honestly, El, didn't you have any idea?"

"You need to leave," I said quickly. "Now."

Declan frowned in confusion. "Why?"

I said the first thing that came to mind. "Because Stella's waiting."

"What the hell, Eloise," He snapped, agitation seeping into his voice. "I'm not leaving again after what just happened. We need to talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about," I replied, shutting my eyes and taking a deep breath. "You can't have feelings for me. Please."

I was begging him. Literally begging him not to have feelings for me. Because it was a deep abyss he was sinking into, a pit that I knew he wouldn't be able to claw his way out.

"That's just bullshit," He spat, reaching for me, but I flinched away from him. "You can't just expect me to switch off whatever feelings I have when I've obviously been in love with you all this time."

I stared at him, stunned and completely shell-shocked. "You what?" Liking me was one thing. But being in love with me?

He sighed and sank down onto my bed. "First day I saw you helping Matt. You were the only person I'd ever seen treat Matt like a normal person. The only one who didn't stare, or laugh. You were the only one who ever asked me if I was alright, the only one I could have a proper conversation with."

"What about Stella?" My throat was dry.

"Stella?" He smiled bitterly and shook his head. "El, you didn't show any interest whatsoever. A guy can only go on waiting for so long. I figured maybe if I went out with Stella, you'd finally say or do something. And you did."

"I'm sorry, Declan," The words tasted like bile, each syllable stabbed at my tongue. "But you need to stay away from me."

It took an almost Herculean effort, but I willed my feet to move towards the door. If he wasn't leaving, then I had to leave first before I could hurt him anymore.

"This is about the baby, isn't it?"

My heart stopped. I almost believed it had stopped beating, because that was exactly how it felt like. And I froze, my tongue cleaved to the roof of my mouth, my throat was dry.

"You didn't fool me. That picture was a sonogram. I'm not stupid," Even though his voice was gentle, every word sent a sharp twisting pain through my heart. "I kind of connected the dots. So why don't you just tell me what happened?"