One Year Away From 30: Oz and Willow Re-Unite in San Francisco

Chapter Four: Willow, a Cop, and a Werewolf

Chapter Four: Willow, a Cop, and a Werewolf

Ah, perfect timing. The sun is just beginning to set. Hopefully, by the time we get off the subway, Oz will have the perfect view of San Francisco from Twin Peaks. The more I'm around him, the more I want him to love San Francisco as much as I do, for many reasons.

As usual, the banter with Oz is fun. He talks about wanting to form a band here. I wonder if I'll be his groupie girl again, the way I was back in the old days at The Bronze. Oh gosh, I think I'm falling for him again. I didn't think that would happen. Since Oz, most of the people I've fallen in love with have been women. At first, it was a woman, Tara, just like it was a man, Oz. For me, it's about the person. I'm beginning to fall for this person all over again: the way he smells, the goofy smile, the eyes that are huge with wonder and experiences of a world from a whole different perspective. I don't think I even realized how much I missed him. I thought it was all a done deal when I found out he got married in Tibet. I guess that didn't turn out to be the case.

But oh, what am I going to do about the Ana Lucia problem? Not something I want to think about right now.

"Here we are!" I say almost too enthusiastically. Twin Peaks at sunset. What can be more beautiful than that? If there's anything I've learned about Oz and me, it's that even when it's complicated, it's also beautiful.

"Wow," he says, "I can see why you wanted to bring me here. It's....almost magical seeming."

"Well, and that's a big deal, coming from either one of us!" A werewolf and a witch; what can be more magical than that?

"I could stay up here all day," he says. "Especially with you."

I feel like someone just sucked all of the air out of my stomach, but in a good way.

"Uh, but what about, uh, that woman you met in Tibet...."

"Bayarmaa? Ah yes, I loved her, I really did. But she wanted a kid, and that just....wasn't something I was ready for, you know? I'm not sure if I ever want to have kids. I just wonder if it would be fair to, you know, pass along some of my..tendencies..."

"I understand," I say, and I do. Me with my addiction to magic, my fluid sexuality, my.....witchiness? I wasn't sure who would want to be with me long term, and I had not even entertained the idea of kids. "I'm not sure I want kids either." There's a tinge of sadness in my voice that even I can here. When you're a woman, especially a Jewish woman, you feel a certain obligation to have kids, to pass along your lineage. My parents haven't been the most attentive ones in the world, but they're both mega smart, and they gave me some good genes. Plus, it would be nice to have more Jewish people in the world after what happened in the Holocaust, even if one was the son or a daughter of a former witch.

Suddenly, his arms are around me, and I instinctively rest my head on his shoulder that rests just a little below my head. I feel protected in a way that I haven't in a long time. As a feminist, a part of me wishes that I didn't feel comfort in feeling that way, but I do.

"I know I wouldn't mind having another little Willow in the world," he says. He smells the same as he did all those years ago. It's like...home."

"And I wouldn't mind another you. But, uh, one thing at a time."

We both laugh, a little nervously, and turn back around. "Hey look, the sun is really setting now! You can see the city at its most beautiful."