If you only knew

Chelsea Smile

I may look happy, but honestly dear, the only way I'll really smile is if you cut me ear to ear.

I started to get use to Aiden being with me at all times as they had moved me to the psychward of the same hospital. but every chance I got when he wasnt in the room I would reach underneath my as I had put a piece of cardboard from my tissue box there and I would look at it and slid it across my wrist knowing I wouldn't do no damage I just liked the way it felt against my wrist because they had cut my long nails while I was asleep to make sure I wouldn't try and digg my nails into me.

I hurried up and placed the cardboard back underneath me as I heard the door opening. I looked over after I sat up against the wall in bed in an Indian sit. Aiden walked through the door. "When am I getting out of this hell hole." I asked him bored as anything.

"No time soon if you don't try to ge better.... By the way your dad called and said for you stay with your sister for a while because hes upset that your here." He said to me. I snapped my head up and glarred at him.

"That dick weed isnot my father and he never will be my father is dead....But thanks I didn't want to go back right now anyway." I gave a weak smile

"Did you get my iPod atleast" I asked him looking down at my arm which now was unwrapped as I played around with the scars and scabs that I had now.

He smiled and handed over my iPod. I grabbed it and unlocked it and went to my music and played some BMTH Chelsea Smile. while it played I screamed along to it. I found out when all the bad stuff start my only escape was to sing and scream which I was actually good at both. Aiden smiled at me while I was singing well screaming I should say. I looked up at him noticing that there was a slight resembilence between them pretty much he look like him but he didnt have all the tattoos.

I looked away from him and 2 minutes later the song ended and Don't go came on and my eyes started to tear up.

"What's wrong. Are you ok." he asked through the music.

I looked away from him and stared down at the floor. I started to whimper as the tears fell down.

"Shhh it's ok it's ok." he cooed to me then came and sat next to me with a hand on the shoulder.

I flinched away from him. Not knowing what to do I stood up walked over to the dresser/book self in the corner and climbed up and sat on the top curled up in a ball.

"You know you'll get in trouble if they see you doing that." but he climbed up with me anyway and just sat there.

I looked up at him then just put my head back again "Do you even care? seriously no one cares so why should you act like it?" I asked him lifting my head a little.

"Yeah i actually do. I understand i know the hurt and no one deserves that." his voice made it sound like he meant it.

"How much do you know about me exactly?" I asked him looking over at the corner.

"Well i know your mom died 12 years ago. I know you live with your step-dad which you hate. I know you almost killed yourself. I also know you feel like you can't trust anyone and that no ones there for you, Also more is going on than your telling us like with your life." i was shocked with how much he payed attention to me.

I looked at him shocked and then looked back down turned myself around so my feet were hanging off and jumped down. "You shouldn't know that much about me."

"Why not. I'm suppose to help you and the best way to do that is to get to know you. That means i have to listen and learn exspecially learn."

"Well I don't deserve help okay." I grabbed some clothes and went toward the bathroom after slipping the cardboard piece i hid in the dresser part in my pocket unnoticed and walked into the bathroom.