An Abundance of LoTF Fan Fiction

16 - Irrelevant.

"And I'll do anything for you
But I'll never fit the bill."

- Irrelevant, Lauren Aquilina.

..

For Roger, maybe life would be a little bit easier if Jack hadn't said those six words. The six words that brutally stabbed at his heart a couple million of times and disembowel him over and over again. The six words that had seemingly swept him to his knees. The six words that burnt him to the ground, as if he was a tree doused in gasoline and the words were an inferno. The six words that hurt.

But Roger had predicted those words. He knew he would be receiving those six words, but he still wanted to confess. He stupidly jumped into the fire like a firefly attracted to light. Right from the start, he knew full well that it could only lead to tragedy, yet he still wanted to do it? For what, after all his efforts? Doing literally everything the redhead had to order, being a best friend, a right-hand man, staying forever, locked up behind a borderline that said friend. All just to witness him and that significant other of his enjoy their romance together.

Even if he was jealous, Roger understood he never could replace the one in Jack's arms. Never, even in another life. It hurt more than it seemed, because a mere crush wouldn't last for all of the ten years that they had been friends. But he would never fit in the space in the redhead's arms. That space simply wasn't compatible for the male gender.

"Sorry, but I'm not into guys."

The eight syllables that hurt now played like a broken cassette tape in his brain. Over and over again. He knew he ran away after that, to nowhere, with the words still busy ripping his heart out, and the lines of tears that weren't easy to hide in a sunny day, and the thoughts and cigarette smoke were mixed up into a fucked-up salad, and the words were still hitting him like that one time he cut himself repeatedly trying to cook the redhead a proper meal and everything around him was devoid of colors and he just wanted to stay alone in somewhere but everywhere reminded him of Jack and it bruised him even more than those times he got into fights just because someone talked shit about Jack and his heart throbbed painfully at each mention of the name and he couldn't stop thinking and–

Something hit him.

A pain, Roger guessed, ran through him.

He wasn't sure of what he was seeing.

White and red.

Maybe he heard a siren somewhere.

The words were still reverberating in his head.

Sorry, but I'm not into guys.

Sorry, but I'm not into guys.

Sorry, but I'm not into guys.

Sorry, but I'm not into guys.

..

Jack.

[Beep]

I love you.

[Beep]

But it'll never work out.

.

[Beep]

I know it

.

.

[Beep]

.

.

.

Because I'm irrelevant.

.

.

.

.

[Beep]

.

"Stand back! Three, two, one, clear!"

.

"Three, two, one, clear!"

.

"What's the time?"

"Six fifty, Doctor."

"Time of death, six fifty pm."