Have I told anyone that I hate surprises?
Caden now has transferred to an atheist to a Christian. I wonder what is going through that brain of his. Does he think that once he’s a Christian, we could go out? I want nothing to do with him; he is part of the reason why I and Matthew broke up. Now he is in my living room, talking to my parents about a relationship that will never happen. How can I be with a person that brings the worse side of me, that isn’t pure for me?
Now I have to tell my parents everything against my will. I was going to anyways, but not like this, not from him.
“Have you … And Caden been dating, Kaysly?” My mother ask, a bit surprised, shocked, dumbfounded …
“No … It wasn’t like that--”
“Kaysly, don’t lie to me. Almost a year ago when I found out about Caden, you told me you two were just friends.” I felt lightheaded when I tried remembering our conversation almost a year ago, and it all came back to me:
I wake up the next morning and notice that he wasn't next to me. I take a shower and get dressed for school and came down stairs and there was my Mother. She had her hair up in a bun, wearing a faded yellow shirt and dark blue Capri. She was still cooking breakfast which met both my Dad and Brother are still asleep.
"Hey hon. you’re up early." She says looking between me and the pancakes that she's making.
"Yeah ... Last night was ... rough." I say half-heartedly.
"Your father told me. So what's up?" She said simply waiting for my response. I messed around with the table mats trying to think of a way to explain.
"It was a bad dream ... About how I lost a person close to me, and ever since we stopped talking all this week I realized how much I missed them." I say not looking up for her reaction.
"May I ask? But who is them?" She says moving closer towards me.
"A friend." I say. Hearing this answer and comparing it to what I just had said sounded like we were more than friends.
"A friend ... and who is this friend?" She says curiously.
"You probably don't know him ..." I say trailing off realizing that if she knew it was a male in the situation she might assume something totally different than what I perceived it to be.
"So it's someone you're crushing on ... ?"
"No, it's just ... nothing like that at all, I think of him as ..."
"Kaysly, it's ok to have feelings--"
"Never mind." I say, shaking my head.
"Does he have a name?" She says. I knew I shouldn't have brought it up, now she won't drop it.
"His name is Caden." I say simply.
"Mmhmm." She says, I wasn't sure what she was thinking ... and I don't think I would want to know either.
“Kaysly?!” My mother says in a strict tone. I came back to the present and I was startled by her tone that my heart started racing. I couldn’t think of the words to say. I was tired and frustrated I just wanted to collapse to the ground and pass out.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to cause any trouble …” Caden says, apologetically.
“No harm done, it was Kaysly’s responsibility to tell us what was going on.” My father says, and looks at me as if I committed a crime.
“I think I should explain, after all I came here.” Caden insists, I wish he would say anything, at least until I can.
“I understand, but we must hear from Kaysly now, since she didn’t tell us then.” My mother says persistently.
I take a deep breath in, and hope to God that I don’t lose my balance.
I explained everything about how I was trying to bring Caden closer to Christ, because I felt God calling on me to help him. I told them that we got to know each other and I invited him over to church. I told them that I wanted to be friends with Caden--
“One day I told her to pick me up from the hospital, because I didn’t want my parents finding out about the car accident that I was in … The same day I found out I had HIV. That day changed my life drastically. I knew then that Kaysly was right about everything that she has been telling me. On our way to school that morning, I told her that I had fallen in love with her. I took advantage of Kaysly’s kindness for love; this isn’t all her fault, we weren’t really dating.”
My parents exchanged looks; I think they can tell what is going on.
“And Kaysly … How did you feel, really.” My mother said emphasizing ‘really’.
“To be honest I did feel something, but I didn’t do anything to amplify it. As long as he didn’t know how I felt, than I thought things would be easier.”Hearing myself say that did open up things that I thought I would never have to.
“For you Caden, we appreciate you asking our permission to date Kaysly.” My father says genuinely.
So this is what this is all about?! I absolutely do not want to get into another relationship.
“From what we have heard and seen today we would like to give you chance … But
Kaylsy is taken.” He says sympathetically.
“No, I and Matthew are over, and no, I will not date you Caden! Can I just come home to peace? Must I face drama everywhere I go! I want you out! I don’t want to see your face; you think you could just come here and advertise that you are now a Christian? Then think that I will date you? If you really did care, why haven’t you spoken to me over the past few months--”
“Kaysly, you knew I had fallen for you.” His pale face looked lost, longing, and as if he lost all that he cared for in a night. I desired nothing more but to see someone finally feel pain besides me; I wanted blood.
