The Clown and The Cat

Her First Heist!

"You know what normal girls do on a Friday night? They go out with their girlfriends to a bar to meet guys. Or they have dates." Selina Kyle thought to herself as she gracefully maneuvered through the laser beams. One wrong move or trip and she'd brush against one of those beams, triggering the entire alarm system. Her movements were almost like a dance, as flexible and as poised as a cirque de sole act.

Her eyes fixated on the 12 karat emerald diamond set in platinum that was displayed in a large case in the middle of the fine jewelry store. Selina licked her full red lips. It was worth over two million dollars. Having that diamond in her claws just might actually lighten her mood. Well, somewhat at least. "You're nuts," Selina scolded herself in her mind. "You can't even stand getting dirt under your nails. How long do you think you'd last in prison? Hell you've never even seen the inside of a prison."

Selina's heart was beating like a jackhammer. This was the first large burglary she had planned. So far she had only stolen smaller things. She really was nuts. As fruity as that caped crusader they were always yapping about on the news. Still, this beat sitting at home alone with her cat Socrates and watching old reruns of 'I Love Lucy.' Or going on another pathetically lame date with someone she met off of '.' Uhg, in person they were anything but hot.

She couldn't believe she had resorted to online dating. Why was finding a good decent man so damned hard in this stupid city? I mean, she was a good catch right? She took good care of herself, always dressed like a lady, worked out everyday and had a great bod, so why couldn't she at least find her equal? Bah it didn't matter. She didn't need a man. They were usually either assholes or pussies anyway.

Instead she spent her evenings at her kick boxing class and her Tae Kwon-Do and karate classes, and her women's self defense classes. Hey in a city like Gotham a single girl needed to know how to defend herself. Plus she had all the time in the world anyway. Enough time to take a sewing class where she gained the knowledge on how to make her suit. Skin tight black vinyl and a cute kitty mask to match. She felt sexy in this, powerful. Boring single legal secretary by day, sexy super thief by night. She craved excitement. Not to mention that she was a kleptomaniac.

Yes. Excitement. That's what she needed. A girlish thought entered her head about what would happen if that Batman loon ever did catch her. Her thoughts drifted to his obvious tight muscles hidden underneath that suit. Nah, it was unlikely that she'd ever run into him. He had more important things to do than track a little old diamond thief. He had murderers to deal with.

But none of that would matter anymore once she got her claws on that diamond. She'd tell her boss to go screw himself and get the hell out of her crappy puny little apartment. Then she'd tell off her grumpy old bitch land lady and...

Suddenly, all of the laser beams disappeared and the entire alarm system shut off completely. Then she heard a loud crash as someone busted open the glass on the jewelry store's front door. Selina's feline like instincts kicked in and she immediately scampered away like a frightened alley cat and leaped behind one of the counters. She crawled on her hands and knees and peeked around the corner from behind the counter. A group of men with guns entered the building all wearing gray suits and clown masks.

Where Selina had been working quietly as possible, these brutes were already making more noise than a stampede of elephants. They immediately went to work and began smashing jewelry cases left and right, some shooting the glass out with their guns. The men giddily grabbed all the jewelry they could and shoved it into their bags. "Ya want us to take all of it boss?" One of the beefy men asked a tall lanky man who was casually sauntering through the middle of the riot.