It Just Sucks

Worrier or Warrior

Some times while sitting at home I think about all I have been through and I ask my self, A"am I a Worrier or am I a Warrior". The are very thin between the both. This is a constant battle within myself.

This all started back in 2012 when I first lost my job, an one I really liked and was very good at. Am very sure if am asked to do it again I would be as good as I was back then. Anyways, losing that job was a jab to the gut. It hurt so much. I was forced to move back in with my parents, which is ok to an extent, home will always be home to me. But this time it was more like a burden on my chest that I had to endure under extreme pressure while keeping a smile on my face.

Moving back and forth between mom and dad, who lived 5 minutes apart from each other at the time, it was still difficult at both households. Mom being a Seventhdays and Dad, well, the party boy, it meant that I had to live by there rules which is very different. Dad don't mind the late nights but mom did. Mom don't mind friends over but dad didn't. Sigh! And the list goes on. But through it all I endure.

One day I got called from a school concerning a part time job and I said yes without hesitation. I mean being home all day is cool but only if it's your own place. Am chance to be out the house even if it's for a couple hours, I wasn't gonna say no to that. I told my parents and they were super happy.

On reaching this Establishment named Metal Industry Company which is better know as MIC , I realized an opportunity which I could not believe that was free in my country. I jumped at it by receiving information which was provided to me at the information desk at the entrance. I signed up at once. I decided there and then to take control of my future.

I called my mom and gave her the news of my decision seeing I was by dad at the point in time and she was very happy to hear my decision. Dad on the other hand was not as trilled because he got the impression that I was going to be home so that he would have to babysit Tschana. Oh yes I have siblings.

Am blessed with an older brother, a younger brother which is mom's last child and a younger sister which is dad's last child. Am the ultimate middle child. For both parents. Oh goddie!

My dad's reaction to me deciding to go back to school was,"your going to school! To waste time again?", ok so maybe I wasted time in high school but that's because I never got to study what I was interested in. So I never paid any attention to classes. But that's no reason for his behavior. I was so crushed till I started to thought my own self about my decision. I started to feel unsure if I can really do this for 2 years and actually graduate with a full certificate?

Two months later I received a letter stating that I have been accepted into the institution and will attending my first class in the first week of September in 2012. I was so excited to start this new adventure in my life. I called my mom again and she was pleased to know of my process in my new change of direction in life but not dad. His expression was always the same very time I saw something on the topic. He is so depressing, ough!

It was a very hard time getting prepared for school. Although mom was always so supportive and encouraging speach she couldn't be as supportive financially, and well dad, we know his feelings so it's a no from him. But I was determine. I was going to there for my classes. If I had to walk I was gonna make it. Am I a Worrier or am I a Warrior? This question I constantly ask myself.