Love Again;

1 month later...

Just a quick note, I'm going to start putting some diary entries from Grace in. I will mark them, "Grace P.O.V. diary."

Graces P.O.V.

There are some things in this world that damage you for life. 

Seeing the love of your life die right in front of you, is one of those things.

Its been a month. I've been forced to start writing in a diary. By my parents. 

Graces P.O.V. Diary

They made me go back to school. I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe to just be able to stay in bed for the next two years, and never get out. Yesterday was my first day back at school. I put in my ear buds, blared PTV and slept on my desk. I don't want to be there. But then again, I don't want to be anywhere nowadays. People keep coming up to me, giving me their condolences. People cried over him, People that didn't even know him. 

I walked into class and everyone said they were sorry. But no one was actually sorry. They didn't care about him when he was alive. I guess that's what you have to do to get peoples attention, die. What a fucked up world we live in if in order for once of the greatest people that I've ever met has to die to get the attention he deserves. 

I don't talk to anyone anymore. Not even Lyla. I'm too far gone now. I don't need her seeing what's wrong with me and trying to fix me. 

Everyone thinks that they can fix me. My parents, my teachers, my friends. But what they don't get is, even if I thought that I could be fixed, I wouldn't want to. 

It would be like leaving him.

And I wont ever leave him. 

I don't want to be fixed. Because if I'm fixed, I'll forget. And I always want to remember.

I don't want to forget the first time we met.

When he walked into dairy queen, at the same time as me. Held the door open. 

I don't want to forget how I felt like I never wanted to look away from him. 

I don't want to forget how he was standing in line in front of me and, without missing a beat, told the cashier, "I'll have a chocolate ice cream on a cone, and whatever this beautiful lady behind me is ordering." Without even looking back at me. 

And then before the cashier could say anything back he leaned in and whisper-yelled, "I'm trying to impress her, by my wit and charm. Even though, I don't have to try that hard. She's already been checking me out for a while now."

I don't want to forget him. 

I don't want to forget our first official date. 

When he picked me up in his old time mustang with a very confident look on his face. 

How he told me that he can't tell me where we were going because it was top secret. How we went into the 5 star restaurant with our heads held high, and he proposed to me, Crystal Johnson, the freshman in college, and I accepted Tom Riley, the quarterbacks proposal. 

I don't want to forget, how much I loved and love him.

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Grace closed her book as tears started running down her cheek, smearing the ink. She ate a caramel. 

It was her fourth one that day.