RJ sat right in front of Chris's tape player. He took a deep breath before the video started playing.
The first thing he saw was a clip from his first ever birthday. The smile on both of his parent's faces quickly tugged on his heartstrings. RJ got emotional right away while thinking of all the good memories he has with them.
"Who's the best baby in the world?" his Dad, who is holding the camera, asked.
"I am!" Mrs. Faulkerson replied while raising RJ's arms.
The smile on his face faded after he remembered what happened during his 6th birthday. It was a complete opposite scenario compared to what's flashing on the TV screen right now. After the clip from his first birthday is over, their beach trips flashed next.
RJ smiled when he saw his little self and Sebastian playing together. This was actually one of the few good childhood moments they have. He and his older brother never really gotten along while growing up that's why seeing their kid versions this close to each other warmed him up.
The first few minutes of the tape already made him tear up that's why he's now actually nervous as to what the next hour of videos will do to him. Meanwhile, Chris opened two bottles of beer and placed it right in top of the table.
"You're alright dude?" he then asked RJ.
"Yeah." he answered even if he doesn't know what to feel anymore.
His Dad then panned the camera towards his Mom, who gave him a message he knew he needed during that particular time he wanted nothing but to kill himself.
Mrs. Faulkerson smiled before looking straight to the camera. RJ just sat there and watched as his Dad place the device on top of a chair. His heart started pounding the minute he saw him sit next to her. RJ remembers this day vividly, but he can't recall this part.
"Love, do you have a message for RJ?" his Dad asked his Mom.
"I do, actually."
"Then say it."
She smiled and turned to the camera. RJ's heart skipped a beat right before his mother started talking.
"RJ ... baby, I want you to know that no matter what happens ... Mommy loves you so much. If I can give the world to you and your big brother you know I would. Son, I wish that you'll grow up as a great man. Don't be a heart breaker like your Dad ..." he heard his mother say before his Dad laughed at her. The young guy wiped his tears away and replaced them with a bright smile.
"I'm just kidding ... your Dad is a great man. RJ, we love you so much. We really do."
---
Maine's mom arrived an hour past lunch to help her prepare a delicious dinner for RJ. The young girl knows how to cook, it's just that she really wants to surprise him. And besides, she knows that excellent food is a great way to distract the mind and keep it off of things that may not matter anymore.
"Asan na si Kelsey?" her mom asked.
"Umuwi na po ... aawra pa daw."
"Huh?"
"Gagala pa daw , Ma."
"Ahhh ... eh kayo ni RJ? Kumusta na kayo? Di ka pa ba niya niyayang magpakasal?"
"Ma! Huy!" she replied, blushing already.
"Bakit? Nak, yung dahilan kung bakit pumayag kami ni Papa mo na tumira kasama niya eh para makilala niyong mas maayos ang isa't-isa bago kayo magpakasal. Ano sa tingin mo? hinayaan ka lang namin tumira dito para lang makasama siya?" Mrs. Mendoza asked her. Maine's thoughts went on overdrive because of what her mother said. She wants to marry him, it's just that she doesn't know if now is the right time for them.
"Pero Ma ...."
"Pero ano?"
"Kaya ko na ba maging Mrs. Faulkerson?"
"Of course ... ikaw pa? That's my boy nga nakasali ka eh."
"Ih! Ma naman , seryoso ako. Paano kung bumalik yung dating siya kapag kasal na kami?"
"Yung alin? Yung pagka-topakin at medyo gago niya? Maayos mo yun. Naalis mo nga di ba? and if ever man bumalik yun, remind mo sa kaniya lahat ng bagay na maganda sa kaniya. Ipaalala mo kung bakit mo siya mahal at kung bakit siya karapat-dapat mahalin."
"Ma?"
"Oh?"
"Umamin ka nga , nakikinig ka na naman nung Papa Dudut no?"
"Huh? hindi ah." she replied but then smiled a bit. Maine just chuckled before she let out a sigh of relief. But even if her chest felt a lot lighter, she still can't help but worry about the possibility of RJ slipping back to his old ways. He keeps on getting worse every time that happens. That's also one of the reasons why she's not sure if she can still fix him if he falls apart again.
"Okay Ma, sabi mo yan eh."
"Napanood na ba ni RJ yung tape na sinabi mo?"
"Hindi pa eh." she replied. That's the only time when the actual tape crossed her mind.
Maine quickly ran towards the living room and checked their CD stack to see if it's there.Unsuccessful, she ran upstairs and checked each of their cabinets and also his bags.
"Shit, wala siya." Maine thought to herself, feeling her heart skip several beats while thinking of where he could have placed it.
"Anong nangyayari?" her mother asked, also running upstairs out of concern.
"Ma, wala yung tape."
---
RJ's already broken. But even if the familiar sadness he once felt is now back, he still can't take his eyes off of the TV screen. The part he's been waiting for has now arrived. He can now see his father sitting inside the master bedroom with his favorite suit on. It felt a bit eerie because the clothes he's wearing were also the ones that were used on his funeral.
"RJ, if you're watching this right now then that means you're old enough and that life did not turn out the way you had hope to. Son ... I want you to forgive yourself. What happened to your mom and I wasn't your fault , it's was never your fault. It was mine ... I accused her of having a child with another man which I should have known is something she would never do, I messed up big time and it all came to a point where the damage became permanent. I was the reason why this all happened. I broke us up." his father tearfully confessed. But the thing is, RJ still feels heavy.
"Son please ... I beg you. Whatever you may be feeling right now, please always remember that it's temporary. Please be happy ... I repeat ... it wasn't your fault and it will never be your fault. I love you son. And even if you can't see us anymore, we will always be there ... in your heart. Take care of your brother and Mamita okay? You're my little soldier now RJ, I love you very much ... always remember that." his father said before the screen cut to black.
RJ just sat there in the silence, he doesn't know what to say or do.
"Dude, are you alright?" Chris asked him.
"I don't know .... do you still have beer?"
---
Maine became worried when RJ didn't return at his usual time. Two hours later, she's still clueless as to what happened. And so she started calling him, but every single time she tries to, he rejects it.
After Thirdy fell asleep, she walked outside and waited at the beach for his car to come. A few minutes later, it arrived.
Furious because he's acting like a jerk again, Maine marched to the driver's side of the car. RJ got out and didn't even acknowledge her existence.
"Ano na naman problema mo? Bakit di mo sinasagot yung mga tawag ko?" she asked him even if she knows why.
"May ginawa lang ako." he replied before eh started walking towards the house.
"Ginawa? ano? amoy alak ka kaya."
"Maine please ... this is none of your business okay? I just want to sleep now."
"None of my business? RJ, girlfriend mo ako ... it's my business. And I have the right to be concerned because I love you. Siguro dati oo, wala akong pakialam kahit mangisay ka pa jan hahayaan kita pero iba na ngayon. Mahal na kita ... kaya please ... hayaan mo akong tulungan ka." she told him. RJ then stopped on his track, he then turned around and once again faced her.
"Please ... just let me be ... I'll sort this out."
"Alam kong pinanood mo na yung tape."
"Did Chris tell you that?"
"He doesn't have to. Wala yung tape sa bahay eh, imposible namang mawala na lang ng basta basta. RJ ... please, let me help you."
"Maine ... I'm fine ... I don't need any help." RJ answered before he went inside the house, leaving a very worried Maine behind.
---
what will happen next? stay tuned :) x
p.s if any of you guys would want to reach/talk to me or anything, my twitter is also @StateOfGuthrie ! thanks x